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5/3/2013 c8 10gryffinsdoor
Hmm, sounds like you want a co-author, rather than a beta.

I find your story refreshing in its honesty with the characters as created by JKR, although your distaste for anyone named Weasley is obvious. I was a bit curious why you killed off Ted Tonks early, but I'm sure you have your reasons. Your Harry is quite believable, and I agree with your rant in an earlier chapter - canon Harry was not known for his magical or academic prowess, although I would consider him somewhat above average. His strengths lay in his physical quickness, strong intuition, determination, and compassion for others, all of which you have shown well.

You've let a few of the typical fanon cliche's slip in but you've done well overall. Canon Harry was not related to the Blacks, but you already fixed that with the blood adoption, so that one was probably unnecessary.
Very nicely done; eager to see where you go from here.
5/3/2013 c4 1Ragnar92
'you are an average wizard at best'

Lucius Malfoy, Antonin Dolahov (x2), Thorfin Rowle, Carrow, Draco Malfoy, Yaxley and Fenrir Greyback are all named characters that harry has beaten in a fight. Throw in a Basilisk and a hundred plus dementors.

While harry hasn't done all of this yet in the timeline- I think you can admit the 'average' wizard can't do any of this- even take Draco.

Academically, harry is average. Well, slightly above (OWLs) but when it comes to fighting, he can beat 99% of whatever is in his path. Don't be fooled by the books biased tone (remember, the books are from harry's point of view... and he doesn't think much of himself. Beating down murders isn't nothing... after all, they have already killed people... probably these 'average' people, you refer too)

Also- he didn't recognise Katie being sorted? :P
5/3/2013 c3 Ragnar92
Wait wait wait- I just realised. This can't happen because it didn't happen. Otherwise the only explanation is that harry got send to a different reality and his past one is now being conquered by voldemort, unopposed.

See, if he changes the timeline, then he would remember the timeline changed- because he will be going back, and that's him. He would know. That's why trying to change things where two version know doesn't work- one has to operate without one changing anything he knows, otherwise he would know it and nothing changed. But he is knowingly changing things he know didn't work out that way, which is impossible because he would remember it. See... he is that little kids life he's changing because he is a future him. Unless someone alters little harry's memory just as he went back to make sure he makes the changes to better than he remembers, which is what he lives.

The time turner from third year shows this perfectly- When he went back in time, nothing changed, because he had already done everything. He just needed to do what he wants (Save buckbeak and Sirius) which has already happened BEFORE he went back in time. He just didn't know.

So this fic is impossible. Otherwise- where is grown up little harry in relation to big harry, from when he gets sent back? He isn't anywhere, because big harry IS harry.

The memory mod is the only thing that makes sense.
5/3/2013 c8 ceo55
Nice twist...
5/3/2013 c8 Imagination 3101
Nice chapter. I like it. Harry and Tonks are getting closer. It is good for Harry to have someone on his side that will not betray him. Andromeda is a good choice. Looking for the christmas visit.

Waiting for the next update.
5/3/2013 c8 1geetac
I like the chapter very much.
5/2/2013 c8 P
Great chapter mate, a few typos but can be ignored; moody making him good, i hope tonks comes around soon, update soon
4/10/2013 c7 4ProcrastinationIsMyCrime
Great work. Can't wait for the next one
4/10/2013 c1 ProcrastinationIsMyCrime
Nice little trick with the names.
3/28/2013 c5 7Brian64
Well... I still don't get why you think Harry is so lacking n stamina and incapable of lasting in a long duel. Can you point to any situation in canon as evidence of this? If you're following the standard understanding of Harry Potter's time at Privet Drive (which you are), Harry grew up doing a lot of chores rather than sitting around watching TV. He has also been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team since his first year, and while some fic writers seem to think sitting on a broom isn't very physical, there would be a lot of strength and stamina required to hold onto the broom during the game to manage the various forces during changes of speed and direction. You even make mention of Oliver's training regime "that he made them do" would be enough - well, if that is enough and Harry was on the team since his first year, then... Do you see the problem? You're constantly criticising Harry, but at the same time you're also providing evidence of how those views are wrong - even in your own story.

...and not to labour the point, but since when do 'barely average' wizards manage to win duels against his peers and impress Moody? Or make mincemeat out of a group of five seventh years as he does later...
3/28/2013 c4 Brian64
Alright, I have some comments from the first four chapters.

Firstly, Harry never took Runes or Arithmancy, so how did he manage to study 3 years worth of material in order to take his OWLs in those subjects?

Secondly, where did you get the idea that Harry was an "average wizard at best" that only won due to luck? Sure, JKR seemed to do her best to 'wimp' him down in the last two books, but up to then he had been developing his power. How many wizards can case a corporeal Patronus at 13 (or at all?) that is strong enough to chase away over a hundred dementors? Do average wizards face and outfly dragons? Fight & kill basilisks? If you're talking about him being an average student, well there are some reasons for that - given everything else he has been involved in during his school career - but even with that his canon OWL results included better than average scores, and he was certainly good enough to teaching the DA. All that aside though, take a read back through all of the Outstandings *you* gave him in your story, (4 O's, 4 E's and an A - including two subjects he never took the first time around) and then explain again how the hat can possibly consider him 'average at best'. I wonder what grades an 'average' OWL student achieves if the hat considered him barely average. Rant over...

Those are the most glaring problems I've found so far, and fixing them would certainly make your story at least average (at best).
3/28/2013 c1 Brian64
Interesting Honks manip pic you're using as a cover... It would have been polite to ask to use it first, or at least give some credit to the creator (me). I assume you found the links to the Honks3 jpg on my photobucket account from my posts on Lord Dwar's group?
3/13/2013 c2 Here you go bub
Wow. You want an honest review? You're decision with James and Lily was inventive, however it is in no way in line with the prevailing philosophies of British parents around 1980.

In other words it's complete shit.

How can you make it better? Grow up yourself or have some kids. Don't like Harry's laziness? Find a more plausible way to rid him of it. Honked off at how the original story ended? Fix it with your own twist "in story" instead of taking the amateurish "out" of commenting specifically by putting your words in the characters' mouths. Hate some characters? Either show some growth to change them or simply leave them aside instead of disrupting your narrative to carry out some stupid vendetta against a FICTIONAL CHARACTER!

Don't like what I've said? Ignore it. 'Cause I honestly don't care if you choose to be a substandard writer to live out some fantasy of how you think the books SHOULD have been.
3/12/2013 c7 Imagination 3101
Good story and one of my favorites too.

I like this 'Mark' Harry very much. Independent and powerful. Looking for the future living arrangements with young Harry , Quidditch matches and ithe meeting with the Tonks family.

Thanks for the story. Looking for more chapters.
2/28/2013 c7 Armacryss
First of all, nice story.
Now, my only concern is the way Harry acts... and works.
The part about Dumbledore and his "hit and run" tactic was interesting but a bit too straightforward for his personality (he has changed yes, but you don't erase 15 years of pain in a couple of months)... and how he learns so fast ? really, Occlumency should be a tough subject, and it seems he can learn it in less than a month ? I guess it was necessary, but you should be careful ... like the part about wandless magic... I don't think you should rush those things... well, it's just my opinion :)

Nonetheless, thank you for your work !
Good luck for your next chapter.
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