Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for When I moved to Hogwarts

11/16/2014 c2 2Petra Anderson
QUITTER
8/1/2013 c2 Liv-Love-Work-Play-READ
Your story sounds great I hope you finish it xxx
11/16/2012 c1 ToxicTrix
Your story does need work but I think your problem is more experience than anything else.
Otherwise it is a good idear and start to a story which I hope you keep doing.
11/8/2012 c1 13A Pirate By Any Other Name
Hello dear! I'm here to give you your first review and offer my beta-services. I want to see you do well, and I think this chapter would be brilliant with just a little bit of editing. First, you'll want to separate the lines every time I new character starts speaking, like so:

Mrs Smyth jogged down the hall in her 6inch heels 'Chelsea !? Chelsea?' Se was following a girl with dark brown hair and 6 earrings in one ear.

'What mrs Smyth? I'm late for my art class , this is the last one I will ever have here to please will you just spit out what you are going to say !'

I spotted a few spelling errors too, but those are easily fixed.

Chelsea sounds a little arrogant. Queen bee, hmm? She'll be great pals with Draco...

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service