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for The Ninth Sekirei Pillar

11/6/2020 c16 loquendo 2005
maldicion me encanta esta historia y esta subtrama paralela con los clones que quieren ser independientes me mato de la risa
11/4/2020 c1 loquendo 2005
alta intro me gusta
10/22/2020 c4 CrazyMr
why did you have to make naruto fucking brain dead. oh we kissed and now we can feel each others emotions. *goes into mindscape and sees a ball that just connected to something outside* no fucking idea what this is connected to.
10/19/2020 c29 Malie Hoffman
I know that this story is finished and you likely won't see this, but I did have a theory a while ago on how the Shadow Clones work. They're constructs of chakra, this much we know, but I believe that they are formed by the transformation of chakra into living cells. They are sustained not only by the chakra used to create them, but by the air(as they take on Naruto's form and become a copy of him, they still need to breathe given that they are, in essence, perfect copies, albeit with less stability than Naruto himself). Each cell in Naruto's body is reproduced exactly, and to maintain the form of a natural being one must adhere to the constraints such a being has to contend with, like breathing and, if my belief about his former clones is correct, eating.
9/16/2020 c27 3Dr. Maou-Senpai
I had to stop here. honestly it was getting a little too dark for my taste
8/21/2020 c23 Archleone
This story is getting increasingly stupid. Somehow.

Old "Sekirei" appearing out of nowhere, allegedly a thousand years after they landed. Hiashi is somehow one of them. Minaka knows way too much about Naruto generally, as well as the Kyuubi and Naruto's secret plans that he tells no one about. It's nonsensical.

This story is deep within ass-pull territory. You can't justify any of this shit reasonably. It's just plain bad writing.

I'm assuming this "god" that needs to be "reborn" is going to be Orochimaru or Madara given the nature of things so far. Or the Shinju if Minaka somehow knows about that.

I'm assuming the Jinki are either the Bijuu's "souls" or something related to them. It's pretty blatant how you keep pointing out there's eight with a missing ninth that totally definitely exists and Miya wants to know where it is.

I think one of the few things I agree with you about is how utterly worthless Minato is. He is the entire reason why I couldn't actually watch the anime or read the text material. He's intolerable. He'd probably let some random stranger come in and fuck his Sekirei.

Characters like him- idiotic, spineless pussies- really ruin a lot of harem anime. Hell, I can't even get into High School DxD because as openly perverse the main character is, he's also completely unlikable and annoying. A wimp who never actually seals the deal without a lot of wasted time, cockblock "humor", and whatever else they use to justify why he doesn't have sex with the willing girls around him. I don't know if he ever actually got around to having sex with any of them, but if he hasn't then it really is another example of just how garbage Japanese writers make their protagonists in these types of stories. It's like they're terrified of women despite obsessing over their bodies.
8/21/2020 c19 Archleone
"It's not a self-insert!"

"I'm giving myself an immortal sekirei body"

Sure, I believe you.
8/21/2020 c11 Archleone
Man, this is the problem with bad fan fiction written by people who think that they are smarter than they actually are. It is shit.

You're making Naruto utterly weak and incompetent after all that wank about how he's some kind of bad ass in the first couple of chapters. How on Earth is fighting someone with a sword hard for him when his greatest enemies always had swords or other large weapons? He's used to that shit. Sasuke owned a sword. Madara has his dumb ass fan. Fighting a sword user who doesn't have a Sharingan should be a cake walk for him.

Not to mention that all this contrived shit with the mental attack that I'm sure you're going to try justifying by saying it's something to do with Minaka using the Sharingan, is all very irritating to read about because it doesn't even make any sense. If they're not implanted then they are unusable. Dormant. Naruto leaving Sasuke's body/eyes behind didn't make sense at all either. Neither did Sasuke's body making the trip with Naruto and Hanabi intact. Hell, I don't personally think Hanabi should have made it through either.

There's too many contrivances, but you seem to actually think you're being clever which just makes it annoying. "Did you notice my little hint? My ever-so-clever foreshadowing?" About the most blatant and heavy handed crap in this story.

When you break this shit down, what this chapter boils down to is Naruto failing to kill a weak and useless crazy child. Naruto, the man who is supposed to be a very powerful ninja. Even while he's fucked up, he should have been able to obliterate everyone in that forest. To avoid making too "op gary stu" you went too far in the other direction and made him inexplicably weak and incompetent. But then you also announced that you're one of those writers terrified of breaking away from canon so of course that kid was never going to die. What a waste of time.
8/21/2020 c6 Archleone
My guy, if you're going to try and pair Kurama and Miya together then I think you must have lost your damn mind.

Kurama doesn't even have a dick.
7/24/2020 c2 Maks10
The chakra system is something spiritual it will not suffer from an attack on visual damage
7/23/2020 c12 Guest
Why is naruto such a weak little bitch in your story? Like naruto can move faster than light in the anime/manga and he is a war vet but you make him lose to everyone when he should be able to one shot them with zero dif. It makes no sense you underpowered the fuck out of him and also made someone who littlery just got out of a war have zero awareness. Why would he just let people do what they want when he knows they are trying to hurt people he cares about.
7/3/2020 c2 1OmniHein
yes how do you get jealous not even going the speed of sound when the fodders of the verse are faster than that Like kid Sasuke who outran sound effortlessly and kid kakashi who chopped lighting in have
6/15/2020 c19 The Tetract
This might be a little flamey, but oh well.

Yeah, this hyper focus state explanation for the clones is a huge asspull, as well as just beingand i’m sorry for the blunt languagefucking stupid. He hyper focuses and then becomes someone else? Unless his hyperfocus state is just dissociative identity disorder, that’s an entirely ridiculous explanation. I don’t really mind the clones too much themselves, but the way you handled them is.. bad.

This is actually my second time reading thisI see why I liked it the first time around, but man. The plot holesasspulls sure are something.
6/14/2020 c17 The Tetract
Just realized the clone is a self insert. Yikes.
6/14/2020 c45 Takadoshi Uzumaki
but you already gave a dead giveaway with Hidan... .
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