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for The Ninth Sekirei Pillar

11/21/2012 c2 Fuyuriku
Not much to say, I'm enjoying the read so far. Hoping for another quick update. :)
11/21/2012 c2 Deadzepplin
So far good story I hope there won't be any repercussions down the line for the whole blood thing like clones or genetic manipulation using his DNA
11/19/2012 c1 sertry
cool!
11/18/2012 c1 Kry Havick
Awesome start i wanna see what happens next so can't wait for the next chapter
11/16/2012 c1 1Rc1212
Well, this is an interesting story.

I look forward to seeing where this goes.
11/16/2012 c1 1Vandun
i like it keep em comin
11/16/2012 c1 Guest
Ugh Hinata. Story had potential then you threw in the most boring of characters.
11/16/2012 c1 Darthme1011
good start
11/15/2012 c1 Fenrir of the North
The Hyuuga, Narutos wife...is it Hanabi?
11/15/2012 c1 Inconspicuous Llama
Hmm, interesting.

First of all, glad to see Hanabi getting some love. She's a pretty rare character in Naruto fan fiction so I'm glad to see more of her. I should probably mention that if you were trying to be suspenseful with her possible death the summary ruined if for you. :P Not that you'll find me complaining.

Also, thumbs up for use of Nasuverse.

"This is the end Madara, your reign, the Uchiha terror, is over." Couldn't help but bust out laughing at the cheesyness of that line which is bad since I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be serious. Then again, it could just be that I'm overdue for sleep.

Really confused about what happened in the end there but I guess that's what happens when you fuck with causality and something goes wrong with the Ramen Element. (love Naruto's logic by the way) Guess I'll just have to stick around for next chapter to find out what happened!

Speaking of the Ramen (prime chakra) Element I suppose that has something to do with the eight jinki? Maybe that's the power they house? That's the best explanation I can come up with given the title of your story. Though I'm not really sure that the jinki are in the first place to be honest. Most my familiarity with Sekirei comes from In Flight and a couple other crossovers.

As for the fighting scene, you did pretty well. It pretty much stuck me as a better than average generic Naruto style fight. Nothing stuck out as great or terrible. One simple thing I think you could do to improve it quite a bit is avoid having them shout out every single attack, especially ones they are going to use over and over again. It wasn't too bad in this fight but in the future you might want to simply describe the effects of some of the jutsu instead of having them shouted. (as long as it doesn't effect the flow of the battle)

Welp, I think that was everything. Keep up the good work and update soon please!
11/15/2012 c1 ScorpinokXV
Nice prologue. The fight scenes were done well, and it was a surprise to find Naruto and Hanabi as both a team, and a married couple in the story. Leave it to Madara to have an ace up his sleeve, or in this case, the crazed lunatic Uchiha Sasuke. :P

Naruto and Hanabi had a great plan, only to have it ruined by the Uchiha, and the ass was smiling before he died, because he got the last laugh by taking Hanabi away from Naruto. Getting vaporized is too good for him. I hope Sasuke comes back from the afterlife as E. Honda's jock strap! lol! ;)

Naruto will have to deal with the loss of Hanabi, and his other friends as well. It's going to be interesting to find out how Naruto gets involved with the Sekirei Plan, and what role he'll take when the time comes for him to fight again.

You have 6 chapters done already? That's cool!

I'm really looking forward to when the next chapter comes out.

Update soon. :)
11/15/2012 c1 Apedreitor
For a prologue was large in comparision with others authors but that its not bad good narrative and the plot for the end of madara was very good pretty dark and gloom i really like it in the end good job man!
11/14/2012 c1 Soulbow109
Story looks really cool so far, can't wait for the next chapter. Also love the solution you made to stop Madara. Don't think anyone would have thought of creating a seal with that kind of effect to stop him, bravo. Story is really off to an amazing start so far in my opinion.
11/14/2012 c1 1EternalStory
What happened in the end? It got a little confusing for me. I won't say that my English is particularly or majorly strong in any way.

If you could PM me a small summary? Maybe?

I was confused at the part where he tripped and Sasuke went in to kill Hinata.

Then all of a sudden it skips to the seal activating...

What was Madara doing in that instance Sasuke was there, and how was Sasuke back? Also... What you did at the end, does it mean the seal reverses time?

Lastly, because they ALL disappeared, would Sasuke/Madara and Hinata(?) be in the Sekirei world too?

What is that Prime chakra instead? You said he did it wrong... I'm still unable to grasp what it means.
11/14/2012 c1 3fearme80
I'm confused about his companion, is it hinata or hanabi? May be I missed the name but otherwise grat chapter.
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