for A Very Weasley Christmas10/6/2017 c19 Annabelle Wren
SEQUEL! PLEASE!
SEQUEL! PLEASE!
8/25/2013 c19 TheLastMarauder
It can't be over, it just can't! You didn't tell us how Larna did in her young apprenticeship?
It was strange seeing Ron and Hermione so openly affectionate with each other in this chapter, because what with the Horcrux Hunting and everything that was denied to the readers in the final book.
I loved your characterisations of both Luna and Ginny - they were just spot on, so well done for that.
But seriously, please don't let this be the end of the story. I want more. Are your other fics sequels to this one?
It can't be over, it just can't! You didn't tell us how Larna did in her young apprenticeship?
It was strange seeing Ron and Hermione so openly affectionate with each other in this chapter, because what with the Horcrux Hunting and everything that was denied to the readers in the final book.
I loved your characterisations of both Luna and Ginny - they were just spot on, so well done for that.
But seriously, please don't let this be the end of the story. I want more. Are your other fics sequels to this one?
8/24/2013 c18 TheLastMarauder
I loved how Larna decided to wait until she was with Fred to open her results - I thought that was just a lovely gesture, you know? And I was delighted that Hannah did so well (I know that's strange to be happy for a fictional character, but there you are).
I am also looking forward to seeing Harry through Larna's eyes - because you remarked that she was determined to get to know him over Christmas - that will be very interesting, because I've only ever seen Harry from his own point of view, so it will be intriguing to see him through the eyes of some one else :)
I loved how Larna decided to wait until she was with Fred to open her results - I thought that was just a lovely gesture, you know? And I was delighted that Hannah did so well (I know that's strange to be happy for a fictional character, but there you are).
I am also looking forward to seeing Harry through Larna's eyes - because you remarked that she was determined to get to know him over Christmas - that will be very interesting, because I've only ever seen Harry from his own point of view, so it will be intriguing to see him through the eyes of some one else :)
8/24/2013 c17 TheLastMarauder
I really like how you are building up Neville and Hannah, I've never read a fic that featured them as a couple before, so I am really enjoying that aspect, even if it is a bit one-sided, as we just here accounts from Hannah.
Larna seems really taken with the job, doesn't she? I like that, because if she didn't enjoy what she was doing she might start to resent Fred and start thinking she made the wrong decision and then things could get really complicated, but I really like that despite her apprehension, and her real reason for doing this, she really likes what she does - the reports, the field-work, everything.
I really like how you are building up Neville and Hannah, I've never read a fic that featured them as a couple before, so I am really enjoying that aspect, even if it is a bit one-sided, as we just here accounts from Hannah.
Larna seems really taken with the job, doesn't she? I like that, because if she didn't enjoy what she was doing she might start to resent Fred and start thinking she made the wrong decision and then things could get really complicated, but I really like that despite her apprehension, and her real reason for doing this, she really likes what she does - the reports, the field-work, everything.
8/23/2013 c16 TheLastMarauder
I love the inside you provided into the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office here - also loved the Camo from Mundungus as well - it's always him, trying to make a profit somehow or another! This Young Apprenticeship Scheme is very thoroughly and very well thought out on your part. It seems completely believable and realistic so well done for that :)
I love the inside you provided into the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office here - also loved the Camo from Mundungus as well - it's always him, trying to make a profit somehow or another! This Young Apprenticeship Scheme is very thoroughly and very well thought out on your part. It seems completely believable and realistic so well done for that :)
8/23/2013 c15 Guest
Utterly loved this line: Larna realised she had never heard silence quite so loud - you've got a great paradox there - the idea of silence being loud.
I also love how you are setting up a sort of tension here and I am interested in how it will play itself out - the idea that they can't fraternise too much because Fred is assessing her and it could be seen as a conflict of interest. It will be interesting to see how all that works out!
Utterly loved this line: Larna realised she had never heard silence quite so loud - you've got a great paradox there - the idea of silence being loud.
I also love how you are setting up a sort of tension here and I am interested in how it will play itself out - the idea that they can't fraternise too much because Fred is assessing her and it could be seen as a conflict of interest. It will be interesting to see how all that works out!
8/23/2013 c14 TheLastMarauder
I utterly loved Dumbledore in this - especially the final line of his litter speech - "But most of all, make yourselves proud, and make Hogwarts proud of you" - that is just so him, I loved that you included make yourselves proud, because most people would forget that, and just talking about making the school proud, but that's Dumbledore all over, he sees the worth and merit in each individual student and he is focused on them, and not the bigger picture, which I think is what makes him a great headmaster.
This was just a fantastic bit of descriptive writing - utterly brilliant: "Silky smooth, it wove its way into Larna's ears like waves on the sea. It caressed her eardrums with the gentlest touch, and she easily got lost in its dulcet..."
AHHHHH! You can't just end with that one word - you can't! I must MUST read on now.
I utterly loved Dumbledore in this - especially the final line of his litter speech - "But most of all, make yourselves proud, and make Hogwarts proud of you" - that is just so him, I loved that you included make yourselves proud, because most people would forget that, and just talking about making the school proud, but that's Dumbledore all over, he sees the worth and merit in each individual student and he is focused on them, and not the bigger picture, which I think is what makes him a great headmaster.
This was just a fantastic bit of descriptive writing - utterly brilliant: "Silky smooth, it wove its way into Larna's ears like waves on the sea. It caressed her eardrums with the gentlest touch, and she easily got lost in its dulcet..."
AHHHHH! You can't just end with that one word - you can't! I must MUST read on now.
8/19/2013 c13 TheLastMarauder
I liked this a lot - I think you got Snape's and Luna's characterisations spot on. What is a potune by the way? Just curious. I also really enjoyed the ending too, Larna's realisation that the way Hannah looks when she talks about Neville is the same way she looks when she talks about Fred, and she is proud to have that look on her face.
I am also glad that you went with Neville and Hannah, because that is canon after wall - that is what happens. I really dislike Neville and Luna shippers, mostly because I think their friendship is beautiful and the fact that they can care so much about each other and not have romantic feelings towards each other is just perfect. Plus, that ship was completely set up by the films, and I dislike the films. The Books are law in my opinion and I go by them, and the films have no right to mess with something that is already perfect, you know?
I liked this a lot - I think you got Snape's and Luna's characterisations spot on. What is a potune by the way? Just curious. I also really enjoyed the ending too, Larna's realisation that the way Hannah looks when she talks about Neville is the same way she looks when she talks about Fred, and she is proud to have that look on her face.
I am also glad that you went with Neville and Hannah, because that is canon after wall - that is what happens. I really dislike Neville and Luna shippers, mostly because I think their friendship is beautiful and the fact that they can care so much about each other and not have romantic feelings towards each other is just perfect. Plus, that ship was completely set up by the films, and I dislike the films. The Books are law in my opinion and I go by them, and the films have no right to mess with something that is already perfect, you know?
8/19/2013 c12 TheLastMarauder
LOVED THE DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE - BOW-TIES ARE COOL! That was just fantastic!
I loved the wording on your letter from Fudge and the job description, you got the informal, serious content down to a T! It sounds wholly realistic and believable! Just one thing though, shouldn't her pay be in Galleons, not sterling, considering she is a witch working in the Ministry of Magic?
I am really interested in how she will get on working under Fred, where he is her supervisor/boss - will that affect their relationship at all?
LOVED THE DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE - BOW-TIES ARE COOL! That was just fantastic!
I loved the wording on your letter from Fudge and the job description, you got the informal, serious content down to a T! It sounds wholly realistic and believable! Just one thing though, shouldn't her pay be in Galleons, not sterling, considering she is a witch working in the Ministry of Magic?
I am really interested in how she will get on working under Fred, where he is her supervisor/boss - will that affect their relationship at all?
8/19/2013 c11 Guest
This chapter was a bit short, and not a lot happened really, in the sense that we only saw Larna get accepted (which we knew she would). I reckon it would have been better to add this chapter to the end of the previous one, or else the start of the next one either. All that said it was really well written.
If you are concerned about taking the names directly from the Harry Potter books, you can sort of get around it if you swap the first names and surnames around. Instead of Mary McDonald and Ernie Macmillan, you could have Mary Macmillan and Ernie McDonald, you know? It's just a suggestion that came to mind after I read your author's note at the start
This chapter was a bit short, and not a lot happened really, in the sense that we only saw Larna get accepted (which we knew she would). I reckon it would have been better to add this chapter to the end of the previous one, or else the start of the next one either. All that said it was really well written.
If you are concerned about taking the names directly from the Harry Potter books, you can sort of get around it if you swap the first names and surnames around. Instead of Mary McDonald and Ernie Macmillan, you could have Mary Macmillan and Ernie McDonald, you know? It's just a suggestion that came to mind after I read your author's note at the start
8/16/2013 c10 TheLastMarauder
This piece of writing here was nothing short of spectacular! It really was beautifully written, with very solid images and great descriptions: "At the utterance of the charm, from Larna's wand shot beautiful ribbons of the finest gold, reflecting the natural light which streamed in through the window. The strands of gold danced towards the image on top of the bed covers, and met along the four sides, intertwining and performing complex choreography, creating a sophisticated design of artistic patterns and images. The Ravenclaw grinned as she watched the ribbons weave in and out, forming hearts, bows and flowers, as well as complicated combinations of loops and twists. After a few minutes, the new-formed frame stilled and glowed a pale blue, before becoming inanimate once more."
- Seriously, I take my hat off to you for this!
I thought this was also a great chapter, but I was just wondering if Fred was not at least a little bit worried about Larna potentially messing up her qualifications for him? As much as he does love her and want to see her, is he not at least feeling a bit wary or guilty or something?
But that aside, overall, excellent job. :)
This piece of writing here was nothing short of spectacular! It really was beautifully written, with very solid images and great descriptions: "At the utterance of the charm, from Larna's wand shot beautiful ribbons of the finest gold, reflecting the natural light which streamed in through the window. The strands of gold danced towards the image on top of the bed covers, and met along the four sides, intertwining and performing complex choreography, creating a sophisticated design of artistic patterns and images. The Ravenclaw grinned as she watched the ribbons weave in and out, forming hearts, bows and flowers, as well as complicated combinations of loops and twists. After a few minutes, the new-formed frame stilled and glowed a pale blue, before becoming inanimate once more."
- Seriously, I take my hat off to you for this!
I thought this was also a great chapter, but I was just wondering if Fred was not at least a little bit worried about Larna potentially messing up her qualifications for him? As much as he does love her and want to see her, is he not at least feeling a bit wary or guilty or something?
But that aside, overall, excellent job. :)
8/16/2013 c9 TheLastMarauder
I well and truly loved this line, thought it was absolutely brilliant: "simply existing rather than living" - I loved it. It reminded me of that quote from The Doctor in The Lazarus Experiment: "Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80, it's not the time that matters, it's the person". The idea of the difference between living and simply existing - loved that so much.
I am really interested in seeing Fred's reaction to all of this - what does he think about Larna doing this? Also what do her parents think as well?
I loved this bit too, it really made me laugh: "she felt infuriated: now she was obliged to stop and to check on the safety of her Head of House." - it was just funny that he mind was so focused on the Owlery and Fred that simple things like common courtesy and concern for others go out that window! Well done again!
I well and truly loved this line, thought it was absolutely brilliant: "simply existing rather than living" - I loved it. It reminded me of that quote from The Doctor in The Lazarus Experiment: "Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80, it's not the time that matters, it's the person". The idea of the difference between living and simply existing - loved that so much.
I am really interested in seeing Fred's reaction to all of this - what does he think about Larna doing this? Also what do her parents think as well?
I loved this bit too, it really made me laugh: "she felt infuriated: now she was obliged to stop and to check on the safety of her Head of House." - it was just funny that he mind was so focused on the Owlery and Fred that simple things like common courtesy and concern for others go out that window! Well done again!
8/16/2013 c8 TheLastMarauder
I really liked this chapter. I thought you got Larna's reasoning behind taking on the apprenticeship very well - the reasoning she told the adults I mean. It was a very good angle to take, and one that is never really explored in fanfiction at all - the what if I Muggle-born didn't go to Hogwarts?
I loved your characterisation of Dumbledore - how he cut Fudge off so the whole thing wouldn't turn into an interrogation, how he knew all that was going on, and knew Larna's real reason for applying. I will admit that that has been something that has been nagging at the back of my mind during this story, the idea that Larna could be essentially messing up her future and qualifications at the age of 16 for some boy. I wanted someone to see that and acknowledge that and Dumbledore did, he reminded her of that, but being Dumbledore he didn't tell her what to do, just gave her some advice. It is our choices that determine who we are, far more than our abilities after all ;)
Great chapter, well done. I look forward to more.
I really liked this chapter. I thought you got Larna's reasoning behind taking on the apprenticeship very well - the reasoning she told the adults I mean. It was a very good angle to take, and one that is never really explored in fanfiction at all - the what if I Muggle-born didn't go to Hogwarts?
I loved your characterisation of Dumbledore - how he cut Fudge off so the whole thing wouldn't turn into an interrogation, how he knew all that was going on, and knew Larna's real reason for applying. I will admit that that has been something that has been nagging at the back of my mind during this story, the idea that Larna could be essentially messing up her future and qualifications at the age of 16 for some boy. I wanted someone to see that and acknowledge that and Dumbledore did, he reminded her of that, but being Dumbledore he didn't tell her what to do, just gave her some advice. It is our choices that determine who we are, far more than our abilities after all ;)
Great chapter, well done. I look forward to more.
8/12/2013 c7 TheLastMarauder
I have to tell you now, that final line was BRILLIANT. I mean proper brilliant, so clever, and really sets things up for the next chapter. I am just in awe at the brilliance of that line (sorry, I have a tendency to really love single lines in writing, no idea why, think it's because I studied poetry so much). But that line, just wow, I mean seriously, wow!
I thought you conducted the interview situation very well, and Larna's answer to the question was very realistic and believable. That was very good.
Just out of interest, why did you use "Lemon Drop" as opposed to Sherbet Lemon? It's Sherbet Lemon in the UK books and Lemon Drop in the US ones...
I have to tell you now, that final line was BRILLIANT. I mean proper brilliant, so clever, and really sets things up for the next chapter. I am just in awe at the brilliance of that line (sorry, I have a tendency to really love single lines in writing, no idea why, think it's because I studied poetry so much). But that line, just wow, I mean seriously, wow!
I thought you conducted the interview situation very well, and Larna's answer to the question was very realistic and believable. That was very good.
Just out of interest, why did you use "Lemon Drop" as opposed to Sherbet Lemon? It's Sherbet Lemon in the UK books and Lemon Drop in the US ones...
8/12/2013 c6 TheLastMarauder
Now this is really interesting, and something that I never thought of before - the idea that perhaps a Muggle-born might regret embracing their magical abilities and accepting a life at Hogwarts over a normal Muggle life in secondary school. That's something I never EVER thought of exploring, and it's actually a realistic and probable occurrence for Muggle-borns at Hogwarts. Did they make the right decision? This is so creative and original, I'll say it again you've got a great head on you for writing.
Now, what does Dumbledore want I wonder?
Now this is really interesting, and something that I never thought of before - the idea that perhaps a Muggle-born might regret embracing their magical abilities and accepting a life at Hogwarts over a normal Muggle life in secondary school. That's something I never EVER thought of exploring, and it's actually a realistic and probable occurrence for Muggle-borns at Hogwarts. Did they make the right decision? This is so creative and original, I'll say it again you've got a great head on you for writing.
Now, what does Dumbledore want I wonder?