for Shinobi's Creed11/20/2012 c1 
19dracohalo117
A very interesting story, one of the few good NarutoxAssassins creed crossovers I have read...my only complaint really is that it seems as though the ANBU, despite earlier telling them to take him down, saw fit to spare him and have him interrogated...
19dracohalo117A very interesting story, one of the few good NarutoxAssassins creed crossovers I have read...my only complaint really is that it seems as though the ANBU, despite earlier telling them to take him down, saw fit to spare him and have him interrogated...
11/20/2012 c1 13Lt. Cmdr. Radner
Noooooooooo, you can't end it there. YOU WERE JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART! DAMN YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS LEAF RANGER! DAMN YOU!
Seriously a great chapter and a good start to what I hope will be another great story, I haven't played AC but I have good knowledge of it and find the story idea's behind the games the stuff of great story telling. I look forward to see where you go with it. Also don't leave your Assassin in the dust when you get to the meat of the story, I like him and want to see more of what he can do.
Also I do have a small request, can you keep Sarutobi as he is in cannon since you made him a bad guy last time. It's not a big thing if you can't just thought I would ask since I seem to have seen a lot of either Evil Sarutobi or Evil Dumbledore stories as of late and while if they are well done they are great stories but most... Let's just say their is a line and some writes cross it going 88mph and not looking back.
Anyway great start and looking forward to the next update, until then true believer... LT OUT!
13Lt. Cmdr. RadnerNoooooooooo, you can't end it there. YOU WERE JUST GETTING TO THE GOOD PART! DAMN YOU AND YOUR CLIFFHANGERS LEAF RANGER! DAMN YOU!
Seriously a great chapter and a good start to what I hope will be another great story, I haven't played AC but I have good knowledge of it and find the story idea's behind the games the stuff of great story telling. I look forward to see where you go with it. Also don't leave your Assassin in the dust when you get to the meat of the story, I like him and want to see more of what he can do.
Also I do have a small request, can you keep Sarutobi as he is in cannon since you made him a bad guy last time. It's not a big thing if you can't just thought I would ask since I seem to have seen a lot of either Evil Sarutobi or Evil Dumbledore stories as of late and while if they are well done they are great stories but most... Let's just say their is a line and some writes cross it going 88mph and not looking back.
Anyway great start and looking forward to the next update, until then true believer... LT OUT!
11/20/2012 c1 11Marquis Black
Cheers on finally posting the first chapter of the story!
I see you went with the Japanese mentor route; dunno how I feel about that, but it still felt genuine enough to be believable, so kudos!
A quick note: "Descanza en Paz" is "Rest in Peace." The inclusion of "la" is unnecessary.
Also, at the time of Raphael's upbringing, the region Kuki was from would've been generally known as Cathay. There was no real distinction for Europeans between China and Japan, and a native of Japan of the era would've called her country, at best, Nippon or Yamato (likely the former). Japanese, as a term, would only come into mainstream use by the late 1500s, with its first introduction happening around 1557 thanks to Portuguese traders. Another name for Japan at the time, introduced by Marco Polo but not well distinguished from China, was Cipangu.
Regarding the use of the mob attack trope, I'm not a fan. However, it's an author's prerogative to use it as they wish. Personally, I'd have had Raphael lurk in the shadows as he learned more of the area, then approach Naruto not because of a mob attack, but because as the least cared-for villager he would've presented an excellent source of discreet information and future apprenticeship.
Oh, and I saw the bashing warnings on the summary - just a bit of friendly advice: try to keep it minimal. Better a convincing enemy than a caricature, right?
Cheers,
MB
11Marquis BlackCheers on finally posting the first chapter of the story!
I see you went with the Japanese mentor route; dunno how I feel about that, but it still felt genuine enough to be believable, so kudos!
A quick note: "Descanza en Paz" is "Rest in Peace." The inclusion of "la" is unnecessary.
Also, at the time of Raphael's upbringing, the region Kuki was from would've been generally known as Cathay. There was no real distinction for Europeans between China and Japan, and a native of Japan of the era would've called her country, at best, Nippon or Yamato (likely the former). Japanese, as a term, would only come into mainstream use by the late 1500s, with its first introduction happening around 1557 thanks to Portuguese traders. Another name for Japan at the time, introduced by Marco Polo but not well distinguished from China, was Cipangu.
Regarding the use of the mob attack trope, I'm not a fan. However, it's an author's prerogative to use it as they wish. Personally, I'd have had Raphael lurk in the shadows as he learned more of the area, then approach Naruto not because of a mob attack, but because as the least cared-for villager he would've presented an excellent source of discreet information and future apprenticeship.
Oh, and I saw the bashing warnings on the summary - just a bit of friendly advice: try to keep it minimal. Better a convincing enemy than a caricature, right?
Cheers,
MB