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10/17/2015 c3 25fanofthisfiction
I enjoyed the comic retorts in this. Adding humor not only brought across the feelings but kept things light.

Thanks again for reading my stories. Being an author yourself, should you have a critique, feel free to let me know.
8/16/2015 c1 fanofthisfiction
I admit I don't know much about My Little Pony and I'm not much of an "M" reader but I'll mention the first chapter was pretty much in "T" format if matters to anyone else.

The dragon is a primary focal point and the little plot twist is fun at the end.

On a different note, thanks for taking time to read my story. Should you have any commentary, feel free to let me know!
1/23/2014 c3 guest 1
first off great story and second i think fluuldershy should be with spike. p.s. i think i mispell fluudershy wrong thank you
8/15/2013 c3 Karlos1234ify
Ponies have just learned where they stand in the Pecking Order.
2/3/2013 c1 3ShadyDreamzzz
I do like the story, especially the random comedic pop-upsXD. Gonna be honest with you though, some grammar problems, but otherwise it's a perfect fic for someone's first write. :D
1/9/2013 c1 6Time Doctor
Can you please shut up... And not for the aother
12/15/2012 c1 52Heartless demon wolf
Shit, I'll be honest and say this was rather hard to read, first off never tell the readers to try to envision what every creature looks like, there is a reason we have to add as much detail as we can when writing, second try to avoid adding yourself into the story due to the fact that it derails the readers from the story.

Second do as much research at the different towns, cities and villages of Equestria, it's Los Pegasus, Sugarcube Corner, and Canterlot and Ponyville, don't ever caplize words that don't need it.

Third, also make sure all spelling and grammer errors are corrected before you ever post your stories, double check it as well.

Fourth, don't ever, EVER make your OC's Gray or Mary-Sue, there is a reason why many people hate them, I know that dragons can preform magic but changing from a dragon to a stallion is just really annoying, that means that they could have done so many years ago and taken over the ponies a very long time ago.

Fifth, be sure to caplize the names of all creatures and places always, period. For example: Pinkie Pie.

Six, give as much detail to items, places or even creatures, even more so creatures so that people can think and know what they look like in their minds.

This chapter is not bad but it needs some very serious re-editing before it should be posted or other chapters after it.

It's Princess Celestia and Luna...also Cadence if you chose to add her.

And it's Mane Six, not Main six.

Also some very much needed advice for when you do author notes and summaries: When you create a summary make sure it's as detailed and perfect as you can make it that means to pull the reader towards you with a very impressive summary and clever title name never to put the words as many writers do: Just read it please, that drives away many, MANY readers.

As for author notes, when you create them be sure to bold your letters then put a line in between it and your story so not to confuse your readers.

Personally, I dislike animals being turned into humans but if you add them with fur, feathers, scales, etc and add their tails then I'm ok with such.

I'll be watching for more but expect some very serious feedback when I read the other chapters, honestly hoping you listen to this very mcuh needed advice, I can also give you some suggestions for romantic pairings if you wish for a later date.

Can't wait to see the re-write for this though and also don't ever make your OC's perfect or unbeatable, even the orginals, it's not who they are...and keep them true to who they are, personalities, appearances, and voices.
11/23/2012 c1 2Flamesinger599
Damn, sorry I could get back to you sooner man! I've been soooooo busy lately... but enough about me: the story. It's a good idea you've got here, and you've done great for your first time at writing a fic. There ARE some spelling errors, but hey, I suck at spelling too (once said 'pooped' when I meant to say 'popped'. Didn't go to well). In fact, they only thing I can suggest is to make the characters sound a liiiittle bit more believable. When I write dialogue, I usually just ask myself 'what would I say in this situation'. But yeah, other than that, everything works. Your first chapter was interesting and was also NOT ridiculously short (you won't believe how many first chapters are like freaking two sentences these days).

Keep it up man! First chapter was a success, let's see if you can do more! :D
11/22/2012 c1 Karlos1234ify
A few spelling errors. It has a good premise.

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