for Running12/3/2012 c1 puzzlingprofessorLover27
hello fagan, my name shall not be revealed, mikulover sent me to read your guys story and i am enjoying it so far and to say this in future references i am mikulover's best buddy and this will not be discussed further ( this is just for fun and entertaining you fagggot)
hello fagan, my name shall not be revealed, mikulover sent me to read your guys story and i am enjoying it so far and to say this in future references i am mikulover's best buddy and this will not be discussed further ( this is just for fun and entertaining you fagggot)
12/3/2012 c5 
5xxLaytonAscotxx
I agree with some of the previous reviewers that you should have made some of the chapters as one. Interesting idea though. I am looking forward to seeing how you explain just how Luke was able to get pregnant.
5xxLaytonAscotxxI agree with some of the previous reviewers that you should have made some of the chapters as one. Interesting idea though. I am looking forward to seeing how you explain just how Luke was able to get pregnant.
12/2/2012 c5 25Nixi Stasia
Okay, for starters, a pregnancy test on a boy wouldn't work. Pregnancy tests work by you peeing on the stick and if you're pregnant, it contains something that would not be there if the user wasn't pregnant. That thing, whatever it is, would not be able to be there in a boy, no matter what, because it's to do with the ovaries.
Unless there's going to be some type of revalation where it turns out Luke is half and half.
That's one thing that would make the story realistic, so I highly recommend doing that. Or at the very least, explain it in lots of detail and use lots of scientific words to make it seem believable.
Also, the chapters are way too short and are not spaced out well enough. Luke's only just half found out that he is pregnant. If it's a normal pregnancy fic then they should be wondering about it at chapter one, but since this is a mpreg, it should be about chapter two or three. Not five. By now, we should no for sure that Luke is pregnant.
What I do like about this story is that there are no grammar/spelling mistakes, but I suppose that is because there are two of you to go through it. Also, I do very much enjoy your writing styles and I'd never been disappointed or disagreed with your storylines in either of yours in the past.
Anastasia x
25Nixi StasiaOkay, for starters, a pregnancy test on a boy wouldn't work. Pregnancy tests work by you peeing on the stick and if you're pregnant, it contains something that would not be there if the user wasn't pregnant. That thing, whatever it is, would not be able to be there in a boy, no matter what, because it's to do with the ovaries.
Unless there's going to be some type of revalation where it turns out Luke is half and half.
That's one thing that would make the story realistic, so I highly recommend doing that. Or at the very least, explain it in lots of detail and use lots of scientific words to make it seem believable.
Also, the chapters are way too short and are not spaced out well enough. Luke's only just half found out that he is pregnant. If it's a normal pregnancy fic then they should be wondering about it at chapter one, but since this is a mpreg, it should be about chapter two or three. Not five. By now, we should no for sure that Luke is pregnant.
What I do like about this story is that there are no grammar/spelling mistakes, but I suppose that is because there are two of you to go through it. Also, I do very much enjoy your writing styles and I'd never been disappointed or disagreed with your storylines in either of yours in the past.
Anastasia x
12/2/2012 c4 2Chaidiamond
I'm enjoying this so far :)
Poor Luke. He really is a cutie! And it's nice to see Flora portrayed like this (with some actual character) for once. I just hope the Professor will be in there a little more! And having Luke come out to the professor is something I look forward to reading!
Please continue :)
-Chai
2ChaidiamondI'm enjoying this so far :)
Poor Luke. He really is a cutie! And it's nice to see Flora portrayed like this (with some actual character) for once. I just hope the Professor will be in there a little more! And having Luke come out to the professor is something I look forward to reading!
Please continue :)
-Chai
12/1/2012 c4 4Abitat Eco
Well...For a start-a boy being pregnant just defies logic. How can a boy ACTUALLY get pregnant?! It just doesn't add up. I hate to say this, but the storyline disappoints me-and the summary sort of gives away the plot. The writing is good and so is the quality, length and description but...It doesn't seem right at all! Chances are less than 0.0009%. If you want to improve...why not have it being Flora who's prengant (making the storyline more realistic) and SHE is seeing Clive as well-so maybe she and Luke could have a fall out or Clive and Flora run off or...I really don't know, but if you want to make a better stroy-I'd really rethink the storyline. Everything else is perfect. In my opinion, your other stories are better than this. Please don't take this harshly-I'd just like to help you improve. Again i'm sorry if this has offended you in any way, but I think that if it can be improved it will become more popular, Good luck and I hope you feel better soon! Abbie :) :) :) :) :) :)
4Abitat EcoWell...For a start-a boy being pregnant just defies logic. How can a boy ACTUALLY get pregnant?! It just doesn't add up. I hate to say this, but the storyline disappoints me-and the summary sort of gives away the plot. The writing is good and so is the quality, length and description but...It doesn't seem right at all! Chances are less than 0.0009%. If you want to improve...why not have it being Flora who's prengant (making the storyline more realistic) and SHE is seeing Clive as well-so maybe she and Luke could have a fall out or Clive and Flora run off or...I really don't know, but if you want to make a better stroy-I'd really rethink the storyline. Everything else is perfect. In my opinion, your other stories are better than this. Please don't take this harshly-I'd just like to help you improve. Again i'm sorry if this has offended you in any way, but I think that if it can be improved it will become more popular, Good luck and I hope you feel better soon! Abbie :) :) :) :) :) :)
12/1/2012 c3 25Nixi Stasia
Cool chapter, but be careful how you space these chapters out, in my opinion the past three chapters, should've all been one chapter. The pregnancy part should've come in on the second or third chapter.
25Nixi StasiaCool chapter, but be careful how you space these chapters out, in my opinion the past three chapters, should've all been one chapter. The pregnancy part should've come in on the second or third chapter.
11/27/2012 c2 Anastasia Dove
Ah, okay then.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Ah, okay then.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
11/26/2012 c1 Anastasia dove
Not a big fan of Mpreg. Well, ok, to be honest I really really can't stand it. I don't want to seem I'm offensive or like a bitch but I just don't like it.
However, I will continue I read and ignore my personal likes or dislikes so I can concentrate on the story itself.
It's looking good so far. Like and floras relationship is slightly OOC but it seems reasonable thy they'd act like that when the professor wasn't around.
Also, I think you should have made Clive 16, not 18, I have no idea what the rules in the US are, but over here that's illegal. (Unless you are over sixteen you should not be in any sexual contact with someone over eighteen.) unless you want to bring that in to the story sometime later.
Don't think me a bitch, coz this isn't a flame. It's just me being honest and giving my honest opinion.
Not a big fan of Mpreg. Well, ok, to be honest I really really can't stand it. I don't want to seem I'm offensive or like a bitch but I just don't like it.
However, I will continue I read and ignore my personal likes or dislikes so I can concentrate on the story itself.
It's looking good so far. Like and floras relationship is slightly OOC but it seems reasonable thy they'd act like that when the professor wasn't around.
Also, I think you should have made Clive 16, not 18, I have no idea what the rules in the US are, but over here that's illegal. (Unless you are over sixteen you should not be in any sexual contact with someone over eighteen.) unless you want to bring that in to the story sometime later.
Don't think me a bitch, coz this isn't a flame. It's just me being honest and giving my honest opinion.