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11/29/2012 c2 DustyLightning
You are just full of surprises, aren't you? Most writers (including those who do it for a living) would have taken a more "well-known" route. For the third time in my life, I'm glad I was wrong.

Very interesting idea you've got going on here. Feels like a purely origanal story right now, and I like it.
11/28/2012 c2 6Alya Spruce
I'm guessing that Vega will be the male interest for Fluttershy. An I right?
11/27/2012 c1 DustyLightning
Seeing as I haven't been reading anything lately, I kinda figured I'd jump back onto the bandwagon with this story. I apologize if towards the end my review get's a little offensive as that is now what I was aiming for.

Interesting concept you have here, giving Fluttershy a romance of her own. I've yet to see a sucessful fanfic based around that, whoch probably means (based on you're track record) that's all about to change soon enough. Her "Dark Secrets" are quite intruiguing, but I feel as though they're a bit out-of-character for a pony like Fluttershy. I've been wrong about things before however, and with the lack of info on her secrets available to the public, I've got a 50/50 chance of being wrong about that so far.

I felt like the ending of the chapter was a bit repetitive. Luna seems to be very common in your work, which is ok. However, I do feel that you're pushing it a bit here. Nightly visits for no particular reason aside from hanging out with a friend doesn't quite add up for me considering that said pony is the co-monarch of all of Equestria. That's like Celestia hanging out with Twilight on a daily basis.

I also didn't like how you pretty much said that this is going to be another human-in-equestria story right at the end. The one thing that I feel is most important about a story (aside from connecting with the characters) is how much it makes a person think. You're previous work made me think about numerous things, but this one so far feels like it's black and white. If I were to guess as to what's going to happen I'd say that someone on earth with an unpleasent life and a shy disposition is going to be ponified and than presented to Fluttershy [kind of like what happened with Drew (right name?) In you're first fanfic].

After the new stallion gets used to the new situation, he will inevitably have a crush on Fluttershy but would be too nervous to express his feelings. Fluttershy would feel the same way too. Everypony else would know about it and try and help the two get together (unsure) Eventually, something big is gonna happen one special night and the stallion accidentally expresses his love to Fluttershy which than leads to the two of them kissing on that night. After that, the two become marefriend and coltfriend.

Somewhere in here, I'd wager that you're gonna put in a plot twist which would result with Fluttershy crying.

I'm unsure as to what you've got in terms of Fluttershy's history, but I'm assumimg it's the story of how Fluttershy became so shy. My best guess is that her parents were rich ponies who were either:
a) Abusive to Fluttershy
b) Ignorant of their daughter
c) intimidating to good old Flutters, or
d) All/some of the above.

Once again, I apologize if that last bit might have somehow offended you. Anyways, I bet you've never seen a review like this on the first chapter of a story.

As usual, I will follow this story for now and see how it goes. I hope that your streak for making the best fanfics will stay strong through the creation of this story.
11/27/2012 c1 Shadow Cloud 5283
I agree with that a fan fic about fluttershy has been long over due. I do wonder how it is that you come up with the names of most of the ponies. Such as "Cowmare" "Speedster Pegasus" it is quite peculiar. But alas, another great story beginning. I see a lot of potential with this story. How are your other ones coming along?
11/27/2012 c1 spacecowboy2011
Never fear Fluttershy, Luna is on the job!
Sorry Frost, but at the moment I am imagining everything that could go wrong with this, rofl! I can just see Luna now... 'WE REQUIRE THOU PRESENCE FOR OUR FRIEND AT HER BEHEST'. Or some other nonsense like that, rofl! While I am not typically all that interested in Fluttershy as a main character (Mostly due to her shyness. At her level of it I see it as a major hindrance, even if it does leave some potential for character development. Plus it is a major pain from a writer's perspective, or at least mine, to get it mostly accurate. I would spend more time trying to keep her in character than writing the actualy plot and such. Anyways...) I will be reading this to see what exactly you do with her, and what exactly Luna has in mind. Still have the RCV on my mind. Bad things and much humor can be found in the future I predict!

Anyways, will be keeping an eye on this one to see where it goes, as I am most curious as to what you have planned for this. Only potential downside I can see right now is it means your other stories will move a bit slower as you space out your updates, oh noes, the horror of it all!

Stay Frosty Frost!
11/27/2012 c1 Alya Spruce
Ooooooo! FS is so flipping cute when she's around people! No matter how she she is I will always say she is my # 2, Pinkie being my # 1. Any way I love it so far. Also please update Return for us, it's just so hard to wait.
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