for Save me, but can you?7/10/2013 c2 
5Mayuko-chan
The prologue was good but it was just another "Lucy in damsel in distress cloth" fanfic. Too bad. I'll pass (but your writing is good).
5Mayuko-chanThe prologue was good but it was just another "Lucy in damsel in distress cloth" fanfic. Too bad. I'll pass (but your writing is good).
3/25/2013 c2 10ILAUGHATYOUALL
Awesome job!
Of course, I've already read this, but I'll give you a review anyway.
Good job on the lines. I think the first paragraph is clumped together, though. That might be my error.
Also, The water bottle thing was hysterical. You're doing a good job of inserting some type of humor. You might even tone it down a bit, and develop each joke a bit more.
Oi! When does Natsu show?!
:D It's getting very full of suspense! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
-Laugh
10ILAUGHATYOUALLAwesome job!
Of course, I've already read this, but I'll give you a review anyway.
Good job on the lines. I think the first paragraph is clumped together, though. That might be my error.
Also, The water bottle thing was hysterical. You're doing a good job of inserting some type of humor. You might even tone it down a bit, and develop each joke a bit more.
Oi! When does Natsu show?!
:D It's getting very full of suspense! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
-Laugh
3/25/2013 c1 ILAUGHATYOUALL
Awesome job!
First off, you have the amazing ability to insert suspense in a story, without tons of action. I commend you.
HOWEVER (Duh duh daaaaaaaaahhhh) there's a couple things I want you to know before I get into the 'good' things. The bad things. (I know, you're like: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG)
I spotted several grammar errors, staring with the first couple of sentences. Oh, and the first sentence has a spelling error. I'm pretty sure it's 'night' not 'might.' Also the last part is very confusing. If you want to put a divider in, there's a special thing that enables you to do that when editing the document before you publish it. It looks like a big line that fades as it gets to the edges.
AND WHY DID HE KICK HER FACE?! 0o0 (Dang, it's Lucy, right? I think? I... dunno... -_-)
Now the good things!
Very imaginative writing. You're really good a colorfully writing something horrific. (As in, the happenings are gruesome and make me want to pee my pants, not you're writing ability) It makes it not so hard to read. Also, humor is mucho appreciated! Please have some! It is amazing! I really enjoyed reading this, and can't wait for you to send me the next chapter so I can beta it!
-Laugh
Awesome job!
First off, you have the amazing ability to insert suspense in a story, without tons of action. I commend you.
HOWEVER (Duh duh daaaaaaaaahhhh) there's a couple things I want you to know before I get into the 'good' things. The bad things. (I know, you're like: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG)
I spotted several grammar errors, staring with the first couple of sentences. Oh, and the first sentence has a spelling error. I'm pretty sure it's 'night' not 'might.' Also the last part is very confusing. If you want to put a divider in, there's a special thing that enables you to do that when editing the document before you publish it. It looks like a big line that fades as it gets to the edges.
AND WHY DID HE KICK HER FACE?! 0o0 (Dang, it's Lucy, right? I think? I... dunno... -_-)
Now the good things!
Very imaginative writing. You're really good a colorfully writing something horrific. (As in, the happenings are gruesome and make me want to pee my pants, not you're writing ability) It makes it not so hard to read. Also, humor is mucho appreciated! Please have some! It is amazing! I really enjoyed reading this, and can't wait for you to send me the next chapter so I can beta it!
-Laugh
12/12/2012 c1 Rangiku9815
I like it please update as soon as possible and *pushes up immaginary glasses* I haven't spotted any mistakes ;)
I like it please update as soon as possible and *pushes up immaginary glasses* I haven't spotted any mistakes ;)
11/28/2012 c1 1ChandlerBing12
Really different, and now I'm kinda starting to wish I did no summary too!
1ChandlerBing12Really different, and now I'm kinda starting to wish I did no summary too!