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for Jamie swan? New moon

3/24/2020 c7 brina1
Jamie need kick Bella ass
9/27/2014 c7 Layla347
I'm so curious to see the look on Bella's face plz update soon.
2/3/2014 c7 6C4tloverr
I really like this, I really do :3
11/29/2013 c7 geust
Update soon writing is hard dying to know bella reaction please keep writing
4/13/2013 c7 Guest
Don't threaten no new chapters if you get no reviews if you want to keep writing. By the looks of your writing, I don't think you will get many reviews ... except the ones you write yourself.
2/17/2013 c2 11Inked Insignia
Looks like my comment about words being out of place was mostly taken care of. Great!

This chapter gave me a lot more insight into Jamie's character. She likes to do scrapbooking. She is friends with Jacob and the rest of the werewolf gang. Bella doesn't really like her. Edward gives her the creeps. Jamie likes Jake. I also learned a bit more about other characters.

The plot seems to be going along at a nice pace. There are a whole lot of places that this could go. I like it.

Not too much in the way of critique this time. I'm just going to say that emoticons outside of text messages are a pet peeve of mine, and if I'm going to be betaing your story, I will make a note of them. It seems more professional to say "I frowned", or whatever the emoticon is. Oh, and "worked ** it to" seems to be a leftover. I'm not too sure what I should suggest with it.

Hope to see you soon for Chapter 3!
2/17/2013 c1 Inked Insignia
Hi! You asked me to take a look at this, so here I am.

I'm a little confused about the characters, but that's mostly because I haven't seen to much Twilight stuff. I can look up these characters, right? I was thrown off by Jamie. For a little bit I forgot she was a girl. (Awkward.) I'd like to get to know Jamie better, but I have six more chapters to read. I don't know what's in those other chapters yet.

My biggest note for this chapter is to keep an eye on where your words are. It looks like some things migrated from their original position. In "welcome to new moon flash back to a year ago I do not own Twilight", it seems like "flash back to a year ago" moved into your author's notes. The "25 minutes ago" also seems out of place.

I am interested in beta reading this story. I'll keep reading and reviewing to let you know what I think about the new developments.
2/10/2013 c7 BeckyBoo12221
By any chance do you not like Bella? Other than that the story is great, really, like I said on the ither one grammar and punctuation. Also a little more description wouldn't be bad, well good luck, bye,
2/9/2013 c6 PenNaming
:) :3
1/27/2013 c6 Outsidel0okingin
Omg, Jake told her, yayness haha. You may recognize me as the author of 'Two is better than one' and I thought I'd check your stories out after your review which btw thanks for that! This story is really good, dont give up on it!
1/15/2013 c6 Chershire
I like them as a couple; they are cute and deserve each other. This chapter rocks!
1/9/2013 c5 Guest
1/10/2013 c1 144KelseyAlicia
Never seen the movies. So I'm not sure how well I can write a review. I like the use of different POVs. That good. It seems a bit rushed but it's alright. Nice drama and emotions are very easily percived. So good job there. Try using a bit more vocabulary and put a bit more of yourself in it. So good job from what I can tell.
1/10/2013 c5 2ElectricSocks
1/9/2013 c5 Chershire
I love this chapter. So many conflicts in one that someone will pop first. Exciting!
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