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4/4/2014 c12 average.at.best
Really enjoying this and looking forward to more.

I honestly feel this story is getting better with every chapter. Yes, a little melodramatic in places (particularly the first half dozen chapters) I feel it has evened out a fair bit and even the emotional hetty story was done reasonably well (and I almost unilaterally skip over those scenes).

I was not a huge fan of how quickly Harry and Teyla became interested in each other (particularly in Harrys case and how quickly he tells her things he is unlikely to tell anyone) and have been frequently worrying about each other before everyone else. While this makes sense given their relationship the part of me that is deadened emotionally rolls my eyes at most of these parts.

Having said all of that, I realize that most of my complaints are weak and only to do with a minor aspect of this rather excellent story. The last 3 chapters in particular and the dialogue between Bates and Potter and Teylas reaction to being under suspicion were both highlights with, of course, the latest action sequence.

For the future, I am slightly worried that there may be too many major characters in the future and thus will cut down on some of the quality interactions between the diverse and likeable characters you have already. This is based on nothing besides the last paragraph of your most recent AN so I probably should not even be mentioning it.

Anyway, sorry for the long review, but really, loving the story. Thank you for posting.
4/2/2014 c12 erik
A very welcome update with a well written and intelligently worked spy hunt.
4/1/2014 c9 Guest
Very good stories
4/1/2014 c12 FateBurn
Excellent chapter Like always
4/3/2014 c12 5basa93
Great chapter. I hoped that you would finish it in this chapter. The battle scene was very well made, but maybe Harry could have used his power more directly or make some comment why he doesn't. I mean lighting is pretty useful when you at numerical disadvantage or have some alien ship coming at you... But I liked that Harry isn't the best at everything even in the military. As for the Harry/Teyla scene it was how it should have been. I mean Weir already told Teyla that Harry was against Bate idea which was a lot of worse than what happened. And had some hour to cool down and think about it. With the relationship they built over the last weeks/months it was logical how it played out.
There were several things I didn't really liked. The scenes of Harry interacting with the marines, civis and athosians were only summarised. I know that the chapter was long enough and you had to study so I can't really hold it against you.
I hope that you will make some part of the next chapter focusing on the "normal" day of Atlantis. I really liked how Carson and Zelenka didn't really cared that Harry is a big badass soldier and acted as he was just another guy. And if the accusation of Teyla will become common knowledge than a scene how Harry make peace with them (with Teyla help I assume).
For the future: I really look forward to see other spec. ops guys mainly the Spetznaz. They are brutal from what I heard. And perhaps that sniper who Harry mentioned in chapter 6 I think. I just hope that the OC will be well managed.
I would also recommend that the Midway station begin operating earlier. Hermione is one of the smartest people on Earth (third?). And it wasn't that much of a big idea.
The wraiths defeated the Ancients who where superior at technology. I don't think that with only number the wraith could have won. They should have been able to form tactics/strtegies better than ancients. I think it had two reason. For one the Ancients were the dominant race in the galaxy(/ies?) for... millions of years. And where trapped in their ways as the Goa'uld was. Second the wraith is organic even their ships so they adapt to meet the challenge. Because that I would like to see the wraith as a more dangerous enemy than the Goa'uld. Perhaps other wraith type of soldiers and weapons? Also I know that in the stargate universe only aircraft count but I would like to see some form of alien tank/mech.
4/1/2014 c12 Guest
Ok so no glaring plot holes/problems
I really like when you write about Harry's interactions with ancient/alteran tech and so this chapter was a bit slow for me but still enjoyable
4/1/2014 c12 bruto22
wooo nice been waiting for ths update cant wait for the IOA taskforce to arrive, does this mean harry wil get a promotion lol?
4/2/2014 c12 Esmeraude11
I really did love this update and I can say that I'm enjoying the detailed information you give us when it comes to the tactics used by Harry and the others as well as on the weapons themselves. I will admit that some of it still fly's over my head but my understanding of military equipment has increased over the years so that helps some. I'm actually interested in knowing if some counter-intelligence groups may send agents to Atlantis after Atlantis makes contact with Earth. Since they may be well suited for a guerrilla campaign against the Wraith plus they could possibly be used on the more technologically advanced races that Atlantis may meet.

I'm glad that you'll be taking a more international view on things. I hope that you'll also expand on some of the things that may happen with a group of people from different nations all stuck in one place. Not fights or anything but more like arguments about common stereotypes or unintentional insults as well as maybe about sports leagues since some people can get really fanatical about things like that. Maybe talking about home or places they've been to either through military tours or family vacations. Basically introduce the Athosian's to Earth through the soldiers as something other than a planet untouched by the Wraith. It'd be interesting to see things like cities described to them and shown through pictures. Also I think it would be nice to see a bit of a misunderstanding on the Athosian's part if they ever try to talk to someone about the President or the Queen as they may understand what a monarch is but might not know about a President given that they're a Latin(?) based culture really due to the ancients influence. Maybe even someone singing a patriotic song/hymn that piques the Athosian's interest given their appreciation of music.

Basically I'm hoping for a little more about culture and things related to that. Though I will admit that I love learning about another peoples culture so I'm kinda biased towards things like this and it's frustrating not seeing more stories written about the aliens thoughts of Earth's myriad of culture's and nationalities. Even if you don't include that I will still enjoy this story no matter how long it takes you to update. It's really good and I hope to see more either way.

Plus Adelbert Mawhinney seems to be named after Adelbert Waldron and Chuck Mawhinney. Both U.S snipers though one was Army and the other Marine. Waldron was from the South given that he was born in Virginia. And held many confirmed kills.
3/31/2014 c12 leah
*cheers*

So happy to see this updated especially as I just re read this earlier today

Loved the way you dealt with this it always bugged me the way the episode went because trained military would never react that way and was clearly just a plot devise to stop having to pay all the extras that played the Athosians

As to your request I'm quite happy with your writing style (would like to see it more often *hint hint*) by only complaint would be that as a non military person I have no idea what all these guns and things you keep referencing are especially when you compare a group like you did when you were talking about the heavy hitting stuff at the beginning of the sniper section-no clue what any of those things you mentioned are! but I don't mind it you clearly know what your talking about (or I assume you do anyway)

Looking forward to more soon please
4/2/2014 c12 Rio47
Wow the short wait between chapters was worth it lol. I can not find fault with the chapter because I enjoyed it to much.
3/31/2014 c12 Guest
reading this story i was hoping Harry would be like Samantha Carter smart yet able to kick ass.
3/31/2014 c12 Kbird
Love it! Can't wait for more!
3/31/2014 c12 Guest
Amazing, an update!

I'd like to see more Hermione and find out what happened to Ginny and Neville. You did say they kept in contact with Harry, didn't you?
4/2/2014 c12 zmanjz
Completely awesome! I love this story. I look forward to what happens when the Genii try their crap.
4/2/2014 c12 1DragonsBC
Nice chapter. You kept it all in the science realms without needing to use Harry's weather abilities to slow down/take out the Darts, good job. Unless I missed it?
No new information on Earth but it isn't needed here.
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