12/19/2012 c1 15AngeliqueRox
It's kinda hard to read dialogue when it's not separated. Try doing something like this:
"I'm so cold right now," said Jack. "Do you have anything to keep us warm?"
"Nope, sorry." Jonah replied.
You see how I separated different people's sentences? That's what you're supposed to do when writing. Just do that and you'll have an amazing story:)