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for A Veil of Passion

3/18 c44 4MickDunD
You really set this up nicely. Please don’t skip to the final battle, you have a lot of ground left to cover.

Overall, this was a fun little read. I enjoyed the ride immensely. Can’t wait to see how you bring it all to a close.
3/18 c44 3Jakeros
Alright, well it's hard to believe we're so close to the end. I really need to go back and reread this soon.

Fellow reviewers, spoilers down below: you've been warned.

So Minato still has a presence in the story, as do the others. That's surprising but not unexpected. People really do jump the gun a lot, don't they (though I'm one to talk, considering Fear of the Dark still has me pissed about Uzume...)? I'm curious if that's all we'll see from him, or now that Musubi has found a way to communicate with them, if they might get some more inclusion. Guess we'll see.

As for what you could do, I have an idea. Since you are immediately going to write Stellar Wings right after this, why not have a chapter before the finale where Minaka takes them into the ship and shows them what it's like down there? It could be a good teaser for what's to come in the future and would help eek out some of the world building you want to do in the sequel.

Otherwise, you can just jump to the finale but at this point who is even left to fight in the plan? Far as I remember Higa got his Sekirei terminated, Kakizaki got merc'd by Miya, and Mikogami isn't in a position to really do anything (correct me if I'm mistaken) and that leaves only Sanada with his lovelies since Seo got his shit kicked in.

Either way, I look forward to see this monster concluded and especially more to the sequel.

Till then,

write on!
3/8 c44 56Kerlongsj Evert Orlejov
I hadn’t expected you to update this fast again but well, I think that you are right on it.

Things are really getting brutal here. Not just with Minato but now, Chiho has lost Homura. That is rough on all of them.

But you are wrapping this one up fast with the sailing to Kamikura Island. With Chiho and her flock. That is weighing heavy on all of them. We can only wait and see how this is going to turn out.
The rest of them are watching on this will turn out. But it won’t be pretty and it won’t fun.

The reminiscing on what Uzume has done with Kazehana, it all seems so long ago. Plus, it is good to have them thinking back on the times when they have done. If it works out, they would be mixing all this Flock together.

Minato and the rest of his Flock are somewhere, with all of his Flock in a void and I think that Musubi is going to be the link to Yume. This isn’t over yet and they’ll be watching on what they are going to do.

As for the note on what else to do, asides from the fight with Uzume and Karasuba. I’m also drawing up blanks. My head has its own issues now, which I am struggling with. If I can come up with something, I’ll let you know.
3/7 c44 codywhite162
I truly enjoy reading this story and I always will but I am not creative enough to offer thoughts of the climax of Karasuba vs Uzume. I don't mind if you wrap this up and start writing the sequel as I am very excited to read that as well.
2/21 c43 3Jakeros
Well... shit.
I feel a bit ashamed I didn't shed a single tear at this, or feel remotely anything... but I've long since acknowledged I've become broken, so don't read too deeply into it. It was "phenomenally" written chapter, especially the parting. You've got a way with imagery that makes it feel like a scene from the anime itself.
I was not expecting Akitsu and Homura to get winged by Chiho, however. Homura I had a feeling but Akitsu... Part of me wants to take credit for that, but no idea thought of here is the sole property of one. With permission, we can express another's idea through different mediums to great or horrendous effects.
...I'm rambling. Point is, this was an effective way to close out Minato's role in the story. And I shall say this for the sake of anyone else who skims reviews before reading stories - He's not dead. Medically-induced coma, that's it, same goes for the flock. I admit I wasn't onboard with the idea when it was first floated but, given the stakes... and how vital Chiho has become to the story as a whole, this was predetermined. Plus, there's a sequel in the works so there's that.
Either case, Veil is in the home stretch but, remember:

2/20 c43 codywhite162
Really glad to see this awesome story updated again. Looking forward to the next chapter.
2/20 c43 56Kerlongsj Evert Orlejov
Shorter chapter this time around but that didn’t stop it from weighing down heavily on the mood. Minato has been lost and now, Uzume and Chiho have to make up for that. But it’s admirable that the Sekirei rather perish alongside him, instead of choosing to save their own life.

I hadn’t expected you to do that but damn, that makes it so much more heart wrenching.
Chiho has taken up Minato’s place in canon and is now ready to bring him back. This is going to be one rocky ride.

Homura missed quite a bit since he went down. But Chiho can turn this around. Especially if she has Homura and Akitsu by her side to help her out.
The final stage, never thought it would come.

Hard to believe this fic is nearing its end. It’s bound to be one hell of a ride.
2/19 c43 Ariadne Venegas
You killed Minato?
You are really bad!

I hope Chiho bring them back. But I like this story more in the begging, I don’t like where it is now for sometime.

I hope the ending is good I imagine you had worked hard for it
Thanks for your work
2/19 c43 9hollardude
Holy shit... I honestly wasn't expecting that.
12/15/2023 c42 3Jakeros
Apologies for the late review; between work and school, my free time was mercilessly short.

Again, not the biggest fan of how Seo was done but it is your story. Nothing to do but follow through.

Even though I skimmed through that chapter due to certain scenes, I still find it a bit cathartic that Miya of all people would lose her shit like this. Kakizaki is a toady for Higa and had this coming, same for Kochou. I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for them.

Seo and the twins however I do - more so the twins actually. Why would Karasuba go after them? Tying up loose ends? Perhaps it was some sort of revenge on Minaka's part though that wouldn't make much sense. If they did care, they would've punished her for what she did on the bridge.

I don't like how Minato had to be sacrificed for this but I get it. Chiho was established early on as a duerotagonist so it makes sense for her to step up like this when the MC is out for the count. Though the fact that none of his sekirei are abandoning him shows just how much they truly love him despite it all.

Next chapter will be a tear-jerker I'm sure. I wonder how Uzume and Chiho will handle it... they did love Minato too.

Till then,

Write on!
12/13/2023 c42 Guest
Quite a plot twist. Now,Minato's flock must search their hearts. Do they choose termination or look for another way? Or will Miya bring down MBI by doing what she does best,being the messenger of justice and death? Will Chiho choose MBI or her heart?

More than likely it will be Karasuba vs. Miya,to the death.

I hope Minaka gets what's coming to him.

Please continue with Veil.
11/27/2023 c42 k12dragon1970
Boy this story got dark real fast... but I guess that was to be expected.. the way things seem to be going..
I don't know if I should be excited or frightened for the hell that's about to be unleashed..
But either way I can't wait for the next chapter and the sequel..
As always you don't disappoint.. another great chapter..
Can't wait till the next one..
11/17/2023 c42 56Kerlongsj Evert Orlejov
Apologies of taking a while but things got busy at my end. Plus, notifications have finally been turned on again (at least, I got one). So that might also be a plus on waiting a bit.

The training has been going well for them and it might help the two groups of Sekirei to become closer. Still, it’s a bit harrowing.

It looks like this fic is wrapping up. Bodies have been falling like flies, Seo, Kakizaki, the twins and all the Sekirei that were involved in the group that was aiming to take Minato down.
They paid a heavy price for their actions, with Minaka now also deciding that this Game has ended.

Normally, killing Ashikabi’s would break the plan but I don’t think that is pretty well.

I command their loyalty to Minato, even if he is not around. We can only wonder on how that will go down if they are going to face their own demise. Minaka does not know what he is unleashing.

Never thought this fic would get this brutal. This fic has been going for nearly 11 years. It’s a long time and it’ll clock out at 12 when you end it next year. End of an era.
I do look forward to that sequel though.
11/9/2023 c42 5nothost
I've followed your story for a long time. I was on the discord for awhile too, but I decided that I just needed less stuff to overwhelm me. Just being in another place felt like I had more to do.

But this isn't about me. I say all that to point out that I get being in a dark place. And your own health is the most important thing. And for what it's worth, this story is amazing. Is it perfect? Nothing is. But I really like it, and I'm not the only one.

I do understand having your own standards. And a way a lot of writers use criticism as a measuring stick for reaching those standards. Personally, ok at the big picture, so I often read a few chapters before commenting on something.

Regardless, I'm reading this story and eager to see where it goes.
11/8/2023 c42 Guest
This was a pretty dark chapter
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