Just In
for A Veil of Passion

11/16 c40 k12dragon1970
I hope Musubi lives through this .. and I think it would be a good idea if Mya joined Minatos' little group.. but only as a one of his flock and not part of his harem per se.. that way she can keep the honor of her husband as she puts it.. I mean after all if she is partaking of the Mary Jane then it could happen during one of them times... Just a suggestion..

Anyway it was a good chapter and I can't wait for the next one..
11/16 c39 k12dragon1970
Now .. that was some real good character development it showed that they're more than just weapons I enjoyed that.. and it went to to show that you didn't need to be a brain type to have some knowledge..

Next time put them in a daisy chain I think that would be neat.
11/16 c36 k12dragon1970
That was one of the best multi chapters of lemons I've read in a while.. and the most people and it flowed very well.. nice work..
9/23 c1 2Elysian empire
So there's a rumor going around that FFN might go down any day now, and that authors are posting there stories to diffrent sites like Ao3. will you be doing the same?
8/23 c40 Guest
Elyianempire here, Posted my review too soon. Ao3 has superior comment system with it being editable. So posting as anyom to complete my thoughts

Part 2

So I'll be the minority and say that Yume trusting karasuba in the bed room scene. The Escape attempt was beyond her knowledge and control was we shouldn't fault her for that. The true fault would be bring the sword with her and not stashing it somewhere or handing it to Chino before entering karasuba's bed room.

So about karasuba, I really want to give the benefit of the doubt because I want karasuba to have a less hostile relationship with Yume. She's known to keep her promises/word in both the Canon universe and VoP universe. The Sekirei karasuba cuts down could have been left at near death and in need of emergency treatment. As for Musubi, karasuba could be going for a termination instead of an execution. As crest disappears through sufficient/severity of damage. So Musubi could still be alive but be experiencing a Sekirei's "death" and she can be put to sleep as all the other defeated Sekirei. With Minito jumping in front of karasuba blad being his own fault/suicidal move outside of karasuba control.

Though where Minito and Musubi was stab wasn't specified, it appears to be in a survivable wound if he receives medical attention to stem blood loss and close the wound. Giving the possibility that karasuba either changed the direction of her sword slightly or was always aim for such a wound. And if Minito was able to survive the stab, thought bleeding out, as a human. Musubi, whose a Sekirei and behind Minito would survive the attack in the same condition if not better then Minito, excluding her previous injuries.

Allowing for karasuba to avoid completely breaking Yume's trust. Though not winning any brownie points
8/23 c40 Guest
I really hope that Musubi will still come back to life here?
8/23 c40 codywhite162
This was quite the shocker ending. Looking forward to seeing where that goes!
8/23 c40 Elysian empire
Well the plan went as I expected. Why did we just have tsukiumi make an air pocket so everyone(small group) could walk/run across the river bed to the other side.

As for Seo, I'd like to give him the benifit of a doubt but with how he's charcterized here...

Hopefully this is enough to finally get takami to side against Minaka, and end this thinly/poorly degiused death game. I hated the fact that He and all of MIB got way with everything in canon and that no one held an large enough grudes to attempt to get revenge/avenge for the Sekirei plan.
8/23 c40 1DanDrake
Honestly I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter was it well written? yeah it was...did I like it? Not really though that's because of the ending mostly. There are some other things that made little sense like yume trusting karasuba enough to let her tie her up like that and karasuba has done nothing to earn that trust especially after she did the one thing yume asked her not to do. Killing musubi (and seemingly killing Minato though I doubt he will actually die) should shatter any trust yume has in her for good in my opinion. And that's not even considering how chiho will react to this. So while it was a good read I'm not a fan.
8/23 c40 DJman248
Wow. You were NOT kidding when you said this would play out differently. Although I do have reservations on how easily Yume was willing to trust Karasuba, considering the blatant state of her mental health and the circumstances.

Giving more of a spotlight to Yukari and Shigi certainly helps flesh out the scene all the more, increasing the tension of the entire scenario, I would say. just one oddity: Sekirei die when their ashikabi die, no? Or did I misremember that rule? So...shouldn't the rest of Minato's flock be in danger of deactivating as well?

...I have a feeling the follow up of this chapter may just inform the rest of this fic's content.
8/23 c40 53Kerlongsj Evert Orlejov
Looks like this changed from one bit to the next. From a lemon with Yume and Karasuba, all the way in here and well, that is one change. I didn’t think you’d actually push through.

On the bridge, that was quite a fight you got down there and they continued to fight and well, it is clear that Uzume and the others go after them.

The situation got messy and with the Discipline Squad, things have gotten even worse. And with Uzume’s hands tied to Karasuba, they are gone even worse. This mess hadn’t been a great way. Musubi is dead and Minato is right behind her.

I think that Takami had gone over on this and I think we got already an idea of what is going to happen next.
8/23 c40 Temsen
Nice, actual consequences for that dumb 'plan'.
Minato trying to be a hero(?) and doing nothing, lol.
8/22 c40 1Jakeros
Well... I expected it, I knew it was coming, tried to brace myself for it...
Buit FUCK! FUCK!...Fuck.
And now...Karasuba vs Uzume - should be fun, and oh so satisfying to see. Though I do find Uzume a bit outmatched here...unless I'm forgetting something, she hasn't taken on a single number before and won. The bout with her and Tsukiumi was a brawl at best, and Tsukiumi is far more arrogant than Karasuba. Still, should be interesting to see...once it's written.
8/22 c40 1gpno14
Well that ain't good.
8/2 c39 DJman248
Well. Suffice to say, the chapter's title was completely and utterly accurate XD

That you added some heart to heart into the matter was a pretty good touch, I would say!
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