for Prisoners of Isengard12/22/2012 c10 
18The Lauderdale
I keep thinking of Eve Ensler's "A Teenage Girl's Guide to Surviving Sex Slavery." This one is Rule 5 (His Sadness Is None of Your Business.)
However, it is probably the one thing that can driving it through those thick Uruk skulls. I've said of one of my own characters that "He might get it if someone tied him up and raped *him* with a broken chair leg. Maybe, after killing the fellow, he'd even develop a little self-recognition." But that's still iffy, because as ugly as these guys act, I don't doubt that many of them *have* been through it themselves, along with any number of other brutal acts perpetrated on them. And indeed, even now, in the wake of his own violation, Ushatar's instinct is still to force.
"Yet he was reeling in horror that he'd been emasculated, owned, fucked by a more dominant male." Ushatar. Dear heart. How dominant can he be when he needed to have three of his buddies hold you down?
Some errors slipped into this chapter - is "loburz" the same as "logburz"? And Dolp(i/a)n's name has changed spelling. But that's probably because you're coming out with your chapters so quickly, and I can't say that I'm sorry for that. Look, there's another one now...
[clicks on 11]
18The LauderdaleI keep thinking of Eve Ensler's "A Teenage Girl's Guide to Surviving Sex Slavery." This one is Rule 5 (His Sadness Is None of Your Business.)
However, it is probably the one thing that can driving it through those thick Uruk skulls. I've said of one of my own characters that "He might get it if someone tied him up and raped *him* with a broken chair leg. Maybe, after killing the fellow, he'd even develop a little self-recognition." But that's still iffy, because as ugly as these guys act, I don't doubt that many of them *have* been through it themselves, along with any number of other brutal acts perpetrated on them. And indeed, even now, in the wake of his own violation, Ushatar's instinct is still to force.
"Yet he was reeling in horror that he'd been emasculated, owned, fucked by a more dominant male." Ushatar. Dear heart. How dominant can he be when he needed to have three of his buddies hold you down?
Some errors slipped into this chapter - is "loburz" the same as "logburz"? And Dolp(i/a)n's name has changed spelling. But that's probably because you're coming out with your chapters so quickly, and I can't say that I'm sorry for that. Look, there's another one now...
[clicks on 11]
12/22/2012 c9 CoonFluxCan
Life is hard for the uruks under the white wizard, even worse for the breeders. Sigh! It''s always about the man, the man on the top, the elite, fucking it up for the rest. OMG SUCH A GOOD STORY!
Life is hard for the uruks under the white wizard, even worse for the breeders. Sigh! It''s always about the man, the man on the top, the elite, fucking it up for the rest. OMG SUCH A GOOD STORY!
12/22/2012 c8 CoonFluxCan
This story is conflicting, you are softening the villian in a way, giving him human feelings so i kind of feel sorry for him- wait not sorry for him...I don't have the right words. This story is aggressively grusome, very sad and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but it's a really good story, kind of makes me feel weird for liking it. There is so much to orcs in tlotr universe that is being brought to light through fanfiction. It's amazing! You have a perfect grasp on these creatures, the story is horribly accurate. It makes me sick to my stomach, which is what i assume is meant to happen. I can't wait to see how the characters develope. I don't know whether or not i will be able to hate Ushatar for the entire story. Can u hate a wolf for biting? I DUNNO! I have a feeling Dolpan is going to be mega trouble.
This story is conflicting, you are softening the villian in a way, giving him human feelings so i kind of feel sorry for him- wait not sorry for him...I don't have the right words. This story is aggressively grusome, very sad and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but it's a really good story, kind of makes me feel weird for liking it. There is so much to orcs in tlotr universe that is being brought to light through fanfiction. It's amazing! You have a perfect grasp on these creatures, the story is horribly accurate. It makes me sick to my stomach, which is what i assume is meant to happen. I can't wait to see how the characters develope. I don't know whether or not i will be able to hate Ushatar for the entire story. Can u hate a wolf for biting? I DUNNO! I have a feeling Dolpan is going to be mega trouble.
12/22/2012 c9 The Lauderdale
I really owe you a review on your other story, but I can't *not* review this one. Ghuribal is wonderful. I think most of my favorite moments in this story so far have come from him, special delivery.
('The commissar would fuck a cat quick if he could find one.'
"I'm not your fucking youngling." / "You might be!"
"Need a bone needle and some hides?"
And that charming predilection he has for blond scalps...)
But all of the Orcs are drawn deftly: Rakhan and Gharsh-il with their hard-nosed leadership, malicious Dolpan, that poor bastard Nuk. Ushatar, with his strange mixture of "eager young space cadet" - as Zoop put it - monstrous brute, and burgeoning, confusing seeds of infatuation/love.
And Tara is excellent: tough as nails, filthy-mouthed, and keeping her head. She's got the wit to know that Ushatar is the weak link, even if she may not yet understand why, and she's going to work it out. I hope she doesn't end up "falling" for him - some things, I think, just don't get to be forgiven, or at the very least, it shouldn't be expected of the victim (Rakhan may have made a life with Eolina, but he wasn't the one who raped her, was he.) But I can wait patiently to see how you play this out and how you handle it. You're a good writer with a good hand for characterization.
Going back a bit in the story, the earliest chapters with Darian were well done, and it was cruel to realize that these mundane concerns about daily life in Osgiliath and the boy who likes you were about to be horribly blotted out. I don't know if Darian will come back into the story, or what will happen if he does, or how he would be: a compassionate champion (or would-be champion)? An unsympathetic bully? A victim himself, tortured and slain by the Uruk-hai? Or possibly killed by Tara, depending on what happens and where the story takes these characters? And of course, it may be he just never does enter the story again: that break between old and new life may be completely severed. Sometimes a lack of resolution can be the worst heartbreak of all.
(I will say, on a purely personal note, that I find Saruman's approach to the breeding program rather stupid. Survival of the fittest be damned: this notion of smashing up the women as much as possible and doing as little to keep them alive as possible is a good way of both limiting production and producing not-all-that-healthy offspring. But then again, I've also argued that it would be more economic to use Mannish fathers with Orkish mothers, so I tend to be outside the usual way of thinking on these matters.)
I really owe you a review on your other story, but I can't *not* review this one. Ghuribal is wonderful. I think most of my favorite moments in this story so far have come from him, special delivery.
('The commissar would fuck a cat quick if he could find one.'
"I'm not your fucking youngling." / "You might be!"
"Need a bone needle and some hides?"
And that charming predilection he has for blond scalps...)
But all of the Orcs are drawn deftly: Rakhan and Gharsh-il with their hard-nosed leadership, malicious Dolpan, that poor bastard Nuk. Ushatar, with his strange mixture of "eager young space cadet" - as Zoop put it - monstrous brute, and burgeoning, confusing seeds of infatuation/love.
And Tara is excellent: tough as nails, filthy-mouthed, and keeping her head. She's got the wit to know that Ushatar is the weak link, even if she may not yet understand why, and she's going to work it out. I hope she doesn't end up "falling" for him - some things, I think, just don't get to be forgiven, or at the very least, it shouldn't be expected of the victim (Rakhan may have made a life with Eolina, but he wasn't the one who raped her, was he.) But I can wait patiently to see how you play this out and how you handle it. You're a good writer with a good hand for characterization.
Going back a bit in the story, the earliest chapters with Darian were well done, and it was cruel to realize that these mundane concerns about daily life in Osgiliath and the boy who likes you were about to be horribly blotted out. I don't know if Darian will come back into the story, or what will happen if he does, or how he would be: a compassionate champion (or would-be champion)? An unsympathetic bully? A victim himself, tortured and slain by the Uruk-hai? Or possibly killed by Tara, depending on what happens and where the story takes these characters? And of course, it may be he just never does enter the story again: that break between old and new life may be completely severed. Sometimes a lack of resolution can be the worst heartbreak of all.
(I will say, on a purely personal note, that I find Saruman's approach to the breeding program rather stupid. Survival of the fittest be damned: this notion of smashing up the women as much as possible and doing as little to keep them alive as possible is a good way of both limiting production and producing not-all-that-healthy offspring. But then again, I've also argued that it would be more economic to use Mannish fathers with Orkish mothers, so I tend to be outside the usual way of thinking on these matters.)
12/22/2012 c8 50Zoop
Tara's plight continues to be appropriately painful and sad. I'm not getting the sense that she's given up yet, though the continued visitations seem to at least momentarily make her falter. She does rally, and you have to admire her strength.
Ushatar, *cough* bless his *cough* heart, is slowly but surely turning away from the brutality of his making. I mean *real* slowly. Tara is still his toy, but *away* from her, there are subtle changes. It's more than the lure of sex that takes him away from the brawl in the bullpen, which he apparently would have been an instigator of, if not an enthusiastic participant in days past. He's thinking of her welfare more as welll, and I'm hoping that will lead to him keeping his permanent tumescence at bay soon.
Quite telling is the last line, where the snaga or 'common' Orc seems to be well aware of the instinct driving Ushatar to be more... solicitous to his 'wench.' The term he uses - 'feathering her nest' - tells me he sees major bondage going on there, and don't mean with ropes. XD
*waves to Rakhan*
50ZoopTara's plight continues to be appropriately painful and sad. I'm not getting the sense that she's given up yet, though the continued visitations seem to at least momentarily make her falter. She does rally, and you have to admire her strength.
Ushatar, *cough* bless his *cough* heart, is slowly but surely turning away from the brutality of his making. I mean *real* slowly. Tara is still his toy, but *away* from her, there are subtle changes. It's more than the lure of sex that takes him away from the brawl in the bullpen, which he apparently would have been an instigator of, if not an enthusiastic participant in days past. He's thinking of her welfare more as welll, and I'm hoping that will lead to him keeping his permanent tumescence at bay soon.
Quite telling is the last line, where the snaga or 'common' Orc seems to be well aware of the instinct driving Ushatar to be more... solicitous to his 'wench.' The term he uses - 'feathering her nest' - tells me he sees major bondage going on there, and don't mean with ropes. XD
*waves to Rakhan*
12/22/2012 c7 Zoop
Very troubling, traumatic chapter, but well done, I must say. Tara's defiance is still hanging on, which makes you feel all the more frustrated for her, I think. Me, anyway. She is going through a truly ugly hell. There is a teensy tiny little WTF (not in a bad way) with Ushatar's feelings about what it feels like to him. He's obviously having some sort of change come over him, maybe a bit of an instinctive reaction that he has no understanding of. Not that I want him to keep torturting poor Tara, but it seems he gets a little more self-aware every time. I fear, though, that by the time he reaches a point where he can acknowledge that what he's been doing to Tara has been truly awful, he will have dug a hole for himself too deep to climb out of. And I don't think she'll give him a hand up. :(
Very troubling, traumatic chapter, but well done, I must say. Tara's defiance is still hanging on, which makes you feel all the more frustrated for her, I think. Me, anyway. She is going through a truly ugly hell. There is a teensy tiny little WTF (not in a bad way) with Ushatar's feelings about what it feels like to him. He's obviously having some sort of change come over him, maybe a bit of an instinctive reaction that he has no understanding of. Not that I want him to keep torturting poor Tara, but it seems he gets a little more self-aware every time. I fear, though, that by the time he reaches a point where he can acknowledge that what he's been doing to Tara has been truly awful, he will have dug a hole for himself too deep to climb out of. And I don't think she'll give him a hand up. :(
12/20/2012 c2 Guest
I'm really excited to see where this goes!
I'm really excited to see where this goes!
12/21/2012 c6 Zoop
I hope Tara's strong enough to hold onto her vow at the end. It sounds like a horrible, hopeless place. I'm surprised to see the woman walking about freely - I wonder how long she's been there? If she's 'past her prime' but made herself useful in other ways? Another survivor, but perhaps turned nasty and a little mad by the place. Intriguing. And I think I would have peed myself a hell of a lot earlier than Tara just did. XD
I hope Tara's strong enough to hold onto her vow at the end. It sounds like a horrible, hopeless place. I'm surprised to see the woman walking about freely - I wonder how long she's been there? If she's 'past her prime' but made herself useful in other ways? Another survivor, but perhaps turned nasty and a little mad by the place. Intriguing. And I think I would have peed myself a hell of a lot earlier than Tara just did. XD
12/21/2012 c6 i am nobody you know
Update soon please :) would like to see what happens next, Tara don't give up!
Update soon please :) would like to see what happens next, Tara don't give up!
12/21/2012 c5 50Zoop
Ugly and brutal, as we like our Uruk-hai to be. :) Because I'm an old softy, I'm still hoping that Ushatar will have a change of heart and shit some remorse. I think he's still too naive and stupid about things just now for that to happen. Tara's going to carve a haunch off his ass before that happens, though, so he'd better watch it. XD I'm not thinking you're hiding a romance in here, though. Tara's been hurt too badly. What will be interesting is her struggle to survive in Isengard, and I'm looking forward to that. Given her resillience, I would guess she'd find some way to do it. Maybe Ushatar will sort out his shit and help her with that, especially if she's so damn irresistable. Ain't nothin' free, buddy, not even ass. ;)
50ZoopUgly and brutal, as we like our Uruk-hai to be. :) Because I'm an old softy, I'm still hoping that Ushatar will have a change of heart and shit some remorse. I think he's still too naive and stupid about things just now for that to happen. Tara's going to carve a haunch off his ass before that happens, though, so he'd better watch it. XD I'm not thinking you're hiding a romance in here, though. Tara's been hurt too badly. What will be interesting is her struggle to survive in Isengard, and I'm looking forward to that. Given her resillience, I would guess she'd find some way to do it. Maybe Ushatar will sort out his shit and help her with that, especially if she's so damn irresistable. Ain't nothin' free, buddy, not even ass. ;)
12/21/2012 c4 Zoop
Terrifying, this chapter. And poor Tara! Kind of expected, of course. Lust-crazed Uruks in an embattled city. Gracious, how could Ushatar resist? It's quite interesting how the scent of Tara is messing with the hold Saruman has on Ushatar, sort of overpowering it. I'll be interested to see how you handle their 'reconciliation'.
Terrifying, this chapter. And poor Tara! Kind of expected, of course. Lust-crazed Uruks in an embattled city. Gracious, how could Ushatar resist? It's quite interesting how the scent of Tara is messing with the hold Saruman has on Ushatar, sort of overpowering it. I'll be interested to see how you handle their 'reconciliation'.
12/21/2012 c3 Zoop
This chapter was so compelling in such an interesting way. It started out with a benign, slightly teasing conversation, then some bits of worry, a little concern. Further down, we got unease, and the bells sort of made it a bit more eerie, because you know the bells probably ring a lot in this town. But it wasn't your usual drill or minor skirmish, and the mood of the narrative ratcheted up quite quickly until we're practically breathless with panic at the end, hiding in that little cubby hole with Tara counting *our own* breaths. Man, this was good. :D
This chapter was so compelling in such an interesting way. It started out with a benign, slightly teasing conversation, then some bits of worry, a little concern. Further down, we got unease, and the bells sort of made it a bit more eerie, because you know the bells probably ring a lot in this town. But it wasn't your usual drill or minor skirmish, and the mood of the narrative ratcheted up quite quickly until we're practically breathless with panic at the end, hiding in that little cubby hole with Tara counting *our own* breaths. Man, this was good. :D