Just In
for Embracing your Inner Demon

12/21/2012 c1 10ultima-owner
He should "greet" the school with pranks
12/21/2012 c1 omar.cornelius.9
keep it up... i want to
12/21/2012 c1 27The Flippant Writer
Good start. Nothing to criticize so far. I await the next chapter with baited breath.
12/21/2012 c1 1ddcj1990
Nice first chapter I like it
12/21/2012 c1 hugp1x
A few things, the first of which isn't too important:

It's Haruno Sakura, not Haruna. A little nitpick that was slightly annoying.

The second thing that really gets on my tits when Naruto (or any character in any japanese-esque fiction) gets foxy attributes is the fox ears. Do I have a problem with them? No. My problem stems from their positioning. Not only does it look stupid when I picture it in my mind, but it makes no sense to have them 'on the top' of his head. Naruto already HAS ears. Why would he grow another pair on top of his head? Elongate the ones he has and give them a furry tip on the end and it immediately not only looks better, but makes more sense than the two alternatives; Having four pairs of ears like some weird alien monster or Having two fox ears on top of his head and nothing where his normal ears should be (also super weird).

My third and final point is to denote my confusion. After 'accepting' his youkai self, why is he still losing control when he draws on more tails? You had Kurama himself saying the only reason it hurts him is because Kurama's youki gets converted, the same should be reasonable for the tails of power. Such a limitation doesn't really make sense either. It would be better, if you like, if Naruto gained access to more tails of power the stronger he gets and physically cannot go 'higher' than he is ready.

It's a bit early and short to comment on anything other than nitpicks. I'll keep my eye on this story for a few more chapter before I give a final verdict.
12/21/2012 c1 war12345
like it need more
12/21/2012 c1 1NIX'S WARDEN
Hey like the idea but questions. 1. When is this? 2. When you say naruto has one tail can use three of kurama's does that mean naruto has four tails or 1 is his and the other are barrowed? 3. How can naruto his increase the number of his tails? 4. When he uses kurama'a youki is it just red energy or is it like his red or gold fox-cloak?
12/21/2012 c1 Guest
luv it! and please no harem for Naruto, not only is it used, but Ura would, no she WILL kil ANY women
flocking near her boyfriend let alone flirting with him!
(my opinion is, if youre set on your mind for a harem, leave the canon Tsukune fangirls be and
look for other gorgeous teenage girls who had minor or one-time appearences like:
Tamao Ichinose
San Otonashi
12/21/2012 c1 Lord of the weed
Seems promising. I like that you don't plan to simply replace tsukune with naruto and I'm glad that you are above that. What surprised me a bit was that no one was freaked out by the bus. It's not a common sight in the ninja world/dimension. I personally think Mizore has more in common with him and would be a better choice but at least it's not a harem story (almost all RVnaruto crossover have harems and I'm getting tired of this). If enemy ninja will make an appearance and I'm sure akatsuki will not give up that easily then please try to find a balance between monster and ninja powers. There are ninja like the sandaime raikage who could fight a monster/demon like the hachibi on equal ground and nibi was defeated by kakuzu and hidan.

Question: He should still wear tsunades necklace. Wouldn't it prevent naruto from using kyuubi's youki?

Looking forward to the next update.
12/21/2012 c1 15alchemists19
Interesting can't wait for more
12/21/2012 c1 4Dragonskyt
Hmm, this is definitely an original way of leaving the village. Most of the time it is completely destroyed or Naruto ''accidently'' used chakra on a sealing array he just made or had been working on it for years.

I like this new direction.

Now all I wonder is how the hell Naruto will seperate Inner and Outer. I do like the Inner more, but thats probably because I hate weak women.

Good luck writing, it looks great.
12/21/2012 c1 Nicszilla
I like the way naruto leaves the village its original and not used to my knowledge. It's a good story so far so I hope you continue
12/21/2012 c1 3a.marsh55
I like this. Its pretty original which I like the most about it and also its a good start to a good looking story. Update soon
12/21/2012 c1 Mzr90
This seems pretty cool looking forward to how things will change when Naruto had to deal with the Akatsuki.

Quick question like the pairing of Inner Moka but is there a chance of Naruto getting Kurumu or Mizore?
12/21/2012 c1 diego
nice fic
1,440 « Prev Page 1 .. 86 93 94 95 96

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service