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for (i) used to worry about the time

5/9/2020 c1 31The DarkCat
I loved this fic, it had me laughing throughout most of it, the sarcastic writing style was golden and I loved the way, that the characters were used in this AU, their roles, like Sunako being Toshio's daughter or the Kirishikis. Another thing would be the characterisation, and the awkward instinces between Toshio and Seishin, they werr magnificent. Thank you for this Toshin fanfic!
4/26/2013 c3 19eidolon-azii
Oh gosh yes!

I love seeing Seishin through Toshio's eyes. I love the second person voice (sorry - I meant second person in my earlier review).

I was interested to see how you'd handle Seishin's position of authority given his generally passive demeanor, and I think you've done so beautifully. Of course we don't get much from the elder Muroi in the canon, so it's nice that you've developed him as a means to showcase the younger Muroi's character. That's smart, because we need to see him in fragments, so that alongside Toshio, we'll get to know him too.

I didn't know how I'd like Sunako as being tethered to Toshio given that they were set up as antagonists in the manga/anime, but it seems to work here. I hope you'll develop more of her character.

There's one thing that you do better than many writers on this archive, and way better than me and that's give our characters an infinitely creative range of contexts and situations to run around in. What this has done (across your many ToShin stories) is to show us the "limits" of the characters - that is, by placing them in totally different contexts, we get to see different parts of their personalities stretched to the extreme. So, Seishin's passiveness, for example. Well, he's Seishin, so he must be passive, but he's also a professor here (a role in which passivity is not an asset - trust me, I know). As such, watching him try to be authoritative (to some extent) is hugely entertaining. The same thing with Toshio - here we see him as a cog in the wheel rather than the one doing the driving. Yet, he's still Toshio.

I find your stuff to be a fascinating character study. I'd love to work on some joint projects.
4/26/2013 c1 eidolon-azii
Hi!

We can still be review buddies, particularly since you're my go-to fix for ToShin.

Anyway, about this story: I'm intrigued by the idea of writing a story in a series of ficlets. I think that's probably a smart structure, since so many of us don't update regularly and chapters are not self-contained in the same manner as ficlets. So, I'm eager to see how you incorporate this structure. I think this first chapter is pretty well done for an introduction.

Well, well, well. Seishin is the instructor - the one with more authority. How interesting in terms of character development. The canon!Seishin is so passive, so repressed that your reversal of the power balance will add a new dynamic to the relationship. Again, I'm looking forward to seeing this develop.

Typically I don't go for first-person narrative because it gets corny quickly - too much "I feel this" or "I think that", but here it's almost necessary. We need to know about Toshio's insecurities in order to understand fully his interaction with Seishin.

Also, teacher Seishin is all sorts of sexy.

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