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6/4/2013 c7 1Wrothmonk
One thing I forgot to mention in the last chapter's comment; the fairy's technology may be advanced, but they do not have mind-reading helmets.
Moving on to this chapter.
1. you misspelled gift as gif
2. Mervall and Descant are not human, it was only opal that turned human
3. I believe Opal would not have done torture with a whip, she would have preferred something much more slow and partially psychological.
4. Artemis would not have lost his magic mesmerizing them as it is simply forbidden, not one of the fairy laws which were in the book. As far as I can tell there are two ways to lose magic according the books: share a alcoholic drink with a human, and entering the household of a human un-invited. The second of which being taken down by No. 1 just before The Time Paradox.
5. You just contradicted yourself on Artemis not being able to see his parents after he changes into an elf.
6/4/2013 c6 Wrothmonk
Contradiction strike #3 and 4. Mervall was captured at the end of the opal deception and never escaped. Vinyaya also died at the beginning of the atlantis complex.
6/4/2013 c5 Wrothmonk
Second contradiction with the books. Artemis did not give a fake coin to Foaly, he didn't even give the coin to Foaly. He gave a cd which was coated in gold to make it look like the coin to Mulch so that Mulch could give it back to him in one year to restore his memories. After the Eternity Code it was never mentioned again.
6/4/2013 c4 Wrothmonk
Way to early.
6/4/2013 c3 Wrothmonk
commander root, what?
I'm guessing this takes place after the atlantis complex at the earliest, jugging by holly's comment in chapter 1.
5/11/2013 c12 8Archangel's Blade
All you people who are flaming me, I don't care. You may think my story sucks, but many more like it. There are always critics on stories, or should I say flamers. I don't expect to become famous from a story on Fanfiction, I really don't. So go somewhere else and find someone who gives half a crap.
5/8/2013 c10 Guest
more story please what next
5/6/2013 c12 4mrhawkprime
you cant kill artamus idat
4/13/2013 c10 The Stranger
man, are sure you didn't copy at least a quarter of Kitsune Heart's ideas in this story?
4/11/2013 c7 poseidon299
love it
4/9/2013 c10 7SnowFlower Frost
Love the story!
4/2/2013 c10 1Sarena Akhter
Ummm, TWINS!? And damn, in five hundred YEARS?! Okay, that is just AWESM! Especially since they've got twin brothers (in-laws)!

Sorry, I wasn't even here for SOO LONG! Internet problems suck worse then having to sit in a cell of doom!

The chapter was great, and it was AWESM how Orion and Arty merged, I think I even squealed! But, uh, keep that between us...

Update soon, because we ain't get any younger and this story ain't getting any longer!

BYEE!

Sarena Akhter (formerly known as Sarena TheStoryTeller)
3/23/2013 c6 1Boidogan
This is a fluffy story for the most part, but it's mechanics are good. That's a good sign. Plus I love the slight humor and action that's in it. I like it. :)
3/15/2013 c10 Guest
Will there be another chapter? When will it be updated?
3/8/2013 c10 4mrhawkprime
name the boy orien and the girl artemis
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