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1/5/2013 c4 hugs3
You should make ur stories shorter.
1/5/2013 c3 Tawny
I don't like this story and you should stop reading.
1/5/2013 c2 bobosparklekitty
U are disguisting!
1/5/2013 c1 qwertyuiop
Ur writing doesnt should be less descriptive.
plus this sucks
1/5/2013 c5 Tawny
How about 'moron' because he clearly isn't stupid! LOLZ kidding.
I can't wait for more!
OH I KNOW! How about Arty-boy because she is technically older than him! :D
1/6/2013 c5 1DarkShadowPerfection
Very good story, I must say. Unfortunately I have no ideas whatsoever to help you, but either way you will create an awesome story. Your blackest friend DarkShadowPerfection
1/5/2013 c4 8Archangel's Blade
Haha, thanks Tawny and trust me, I am. It's funny how these people say stuff like that and they are doing the thing they are saying not to. Hypocrites.
1/3/2013 c4 Tawny
1/5/2013 c4 1Sarena Akhter
Cliffie -_-
Oh well, tht just means u need 2 update soon :)
Please go fast!
1/2/2013 c1 Guest
What he said.

\/ \/
1/2/2013 c4 6Electricboa
I've read quite a lot of Artemis Fowl FanFiction, and while the premise can work, I think there is definitely some area you can improve. The biggest issue I have lies in how out of character both Artemis and Holly are. For two characters that aren't very emotional in the books, they're quite so here without a real explanation as to why. My second problem somewhat ties into that, as the story starts once they've already been together for some time. From more or less all the FanFiction stories I've read, there needs to be some sort of catalyst to propel them to admit their feelings, even if it is a small one.

As it so happens, I've read a story with a similar premise to what you've started. I've found the best way to get perspective on writing characters is to read about them in similar situations. It might help if you took a look at it:

'The Dead, the Broken, and the Living' by Kitsune Heart

You'd specifically be interested in the 'Living' part, which actually has a sequel called 'Fowl Ties.' But there are a great many stories out there that I think show how Artemis and Holly can be together while still being very much the same characters they are in the books:

'Half the Perfect World' by Alchemechanist (Holly becomes human)

'Imperium' by Alchemechanist (More story-driven, but the romance is there)

'Seen in a Certain Light' by Lli (Holly becomes human)

'The Book of Ages' by GMontag (More subtle romance, very story-driven)

'Endings and Beginnings' by Ranowa Hikura (Main story friendship, but epilogue makes it more romance)

I think those would get my point across better than me trying to talk it out. Things have to happen in their own time and the more you draw a story out, the better it becomes. That's another thing all these stories share, they're reasonably long. Hopefully this was constructive enough.
1/1/2013 c4 midnightwolf 97
cool story
1/1/2013 c4 F0123P0L1T3
Interesting story, although a castle in Haven city?!
I never knew that could happen.
I pretty much knew that he was going to ask for Holly's hand in marriage.
So yeah good story and keep up the good work.
12/30/2012 c1 Guest
This is my favorite kind of Cliche ! Thank you because despite them being cliche, they are not that common.
12/30/2012 c3 Tawny
Heheheheheeheh bedroom bundles :D
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