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1/29/2020 c4 NeverMoreOurselves
I don’t mean to be that person but...
Will you ever continue this?
I’m really enjoying the story so far. The concept is amazing! Jack has always been invisible to all the mortals but spirits could see him, so what happens when not even the Guardians can perceive their friend? It’d a wonderful idea!
However it was difficult to read due to grammar and punctuation, or lack there of. I realize that others have pointed this out already, and I noticed the later inclusion of quotation marks and periods, which was incredibly helpful. There are still things missing like capitalization of proper nouns and the beginning of some sentences but I can actually understand it now. I would say my main concerns are run-on sentences and the separation of paragraphs.
Whenever a new person speaks it should always be written as a new paragraph actually.
But I’m sure your sick and tired of reading reviews like this one so I won’t say any more about that.
Again I really love this concept and it has a lot of potential. Please keep up the good work, and I would love to see where this story goes if you choose to continue it.
8/4/2015 c4 Mnglonfunnf
4/18/2015 c4 Racgirl
Work on your punctuation please it will make it a lot easier to from that the story is great! Bye
9/13/2014 c3 Slayterxyz
Answer to question: Father Frost, Old Man Winter, and Jokul Frosti (Icicle Frost)
7/23/2014 c3 DarkFrost
I honestly think a child can easily go forever being alone, without breaking.
Pitch went thousands, maybe millions of years
Jack went 300 years
Pitch's daughter/Mother Nature went around the same as Pitch
Mother Nature's god father (I forgot his name) went who knows how many years alone. For sure a many more years than anyone.
Plus i know tones of kids who actually like being alone, including me. :)
7/22/2014 c4 1SlayterZ
Update soon, please!
7/22/2014 c3 SlayterZ
So good.
7/22/2014 c2 SlayterZ
I can't wait to finish! So good!
7/22/2014 c1 SlayterZ
Please continue! So good! Can't wait to read more!
4/13/2014 c4 1Chise Sakamoto
2/9/2014 c3 User has been removed
I really don't want to put this but it has to be done... Can yo do punctuation. It's extremely annoying but the story is great.
12/10/2013 c1 Me
Interesting, but hard to read without PERIODS! Haha, just need to proof read a bit before you post, but the story itself is good! :)
5/11/2013 c2 Guest
Please look at it grammatically, I really like the story but its painful to read because of your grammar. Add periods and look at capitalization. And when you mean 'no ones pov' I think you mean to say 'third person pov'. I am not trying to flame just trying to improve the reading of your writing.
5/11/2013 c1 Guest
you have some run on sentences, if you fixed that it would improve the quality of the piece. also quotation marks would also me beneficial.
3/28/2013 c2 Angeline
Please continue!Q!Q!W !DSEWCFt5jjyhnkil,mnfrgtnhjmnhgthnm tyhr
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