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for Half-Breed

8/4/2015 c16 3veagleeyev
Orcs don't reproduce... They're dead Elves... Remember? They are actually mined from the earth in LOTR.
8/4/2015 c14 veagleeyev
You didn't tell us why. Also, "one last look at the beautiful elf within his arms"? Insert Toff quote here.
8/4/2015 c13 veagleeyev
I suppose it's bred into me. Maybe I just like being profound, carrying that hidden meaning through text. But I like to think it's because it feels just like reading to me.
8/4/2015 c8 veagleeyev
I think my favorite part of this story might be your authors' notes.
8/4/2015 c4 veagleeyev
Now, now, it's not polite to ask a woman of her age.
8/4/2015 c2 veagleeyev
Oh, and I forgot to mention, but I love this concept. It is a common sin of man, to judge the many from the few, and it is equally common for the reverse to happen.
One man of a different color, be it black, pink, purple or red, may be a murderer, but that does not dignify the assumption that all whom share a similarity are murderers too.
And it is a very prevalent theme here, something rather relevant to the human experience, unfortunately.
As I have said, it is not righteous to judge the few of the many, nor the many of the few. It is a message preached throughout history, and I enjoy seeing it preached here.
8/4/2015 c1 veagleeyev
So, your writing will have definitely grown from what I am reviewing, but I'll review anyway. Why? Frankly, I'm bored.
First off, you understand commas. Kudos to you. You also know how to spell. Good job. I can actually read this without having to go onto Wikipedia and remember how to use proper English. Always a good thing.
There is, however, room for improvement. There are a few repetitive phrases. If you go back and read it, you'll probably see what I mean, but I'll explain it anyway.
"He didn't know where she was. She had left out of spite, and he didn't know when she'd return." We just used "didn't know" twice. It disrupts the flow a little. I mean, it's grammatically correct, but it reading is a stream, and repetitive use of a phrase with not enough variation is like through stones into it. Rapids just aren't as smooth, even if they are still water.
But compared to the last fic I read, where I'm pretty sure I lost my sanity within the two sentences of the author's note, I'm thrilled. (Grammar's tricky, but I think that guy was dyslexic.)
4/22/2015 c28 Guest
make one where they have sex and Arya gives brth
4/5/2015 c8 Steve
Your getting your know and now and knew and new mixed up
2/25/2015 c15 Sadness
I still think you are an unspeakable idiot for having saphira die, moron
2/24/2015 c17 Guest
Eragon is aragorn kvistor or what ever his name is is gimbly blodgharm is legolas
1/4/2015 c7 Kurt
I know this is 2 years late but please make a dam dook
12/17/2014 c13 Guest
ok, y are half breeds hated, anyway?
9/11/2014 c28 A.P
It was an excellant fanfiction. One of the best. Why don't you write a sequel. It will be outstanding. Also write an epilogue to complete this fanfiction.
8/14/2014 c28 yoloboi
Yay 300th review!
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