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for orochimarus guide to surviving unforeseen interdimensional portals

8/30/2020 c1 VoidWolfie27
Im sorry but you need an editor. Bad.
9/23/2014 c5 2wjgr
i find these chapters are too short it's like there more plot points or plans for the story plz try to make it longer and add some conversations to it to make it more interesting
8/28/2014 c1 CatchMeIfUCan
If you really want to improve, I'll help you, but I'm not nice, so read the next sentences on your own risk.
(I just read your first few paragraphs, and..)
one, I'm really strict about characterization, so, I prefer any borrowed character to be "In Character" So, you have to make up your mind. Are you going to write this story from Orochimaru's perspective or yours? Because there's no way Orochimaru, the ambitious-bordering-the freak of nature-Orochimaru would sound like an ordinary high school girl, he would have use more complicated phrase in describing his hobby and dream, -he's not arrogant, anything he said are stating a fact.

two, please make effort in typing the right punctuation.

three, page breaks. Fanfiction has the tools. It was as if the story didn't change perspective-from the author to the main character's

four, honestly I found your idea pretty interesting from the summary, but I can't read past the first chapter before I have to stop. I really wish you a good luck, should you decide to continue.
1/10/2014 c5 1PhoenixTears21
I wish orochimaru had turned out like in your story i mean who acually wants to live forever theres only so much to do until you get bored but still i would love him but i just cant get over the tongue its just to creepy and disgusting i mean its just horrible ( im tramitazed for life after reading a freaky fanfiction involving the tongue tenticles and two virgin sacrifices ) my siter dared me to read it. Anyway my main point would be orochi is awsome without the tounge creeping me out he would be in my top 20 anime guys but the tounge put him in the top 100
1/20/2013 c1 feral wolfskin
i like the story even considerer that id difficult to read in my case hablo espaƱol asi que no se si lo escribi bien
1/10/2013 c3 4THE 7TH DEMON OF RAZGRIZ
This is interesting I like how you portray orochimaru

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