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for kaname kururugi returns

7/20/2014 c1 Scarlet Dust 15
Please update soon
2/18/2013 c1 1JP5125
The story has a lot of potential !

I like the fact you broke down all the other characters so that even a person who wasn't very familiar with InuYasha or the game would be able to understand.

The only thing is that in the very beginning you switch between 1st person and 3rd person and the paragraphs are too close together which makes it difficult as the reader to read it properly.

I believe that you're actually one of my readers, and I think it's fabulous that you started your own KanaxSess some editing, proper grammar and punctuation, you'll be onto something really neat!
1/11/2013 c1 Bunnies in Abundance
Hello! I'm glad you've decided to put your work out there!

I must say, the concept of this fanfiction is absolutely magnificent. But as a few words of advice, I have to suggest not making paragraphs so blocky. Its hard on the reader's eyes, and overall makes them not really interested (speaking for myself). Also, going over it after you write it for mistakes can be very helpful too. Myself as a writer, I make tons and tons of mistakes, and that's perfectly okay. We all do it (but that's what revising and editing are for!).

Overall, this story has a lot of potential. You've got a great start, and I look forward to seeing how you progress!

Nova.

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