for Toby, Don't Be A Hero3/7 c3 
27Bloody Phantom
Okay. So, not a story to take seriously. Just a silly, fun type of story. But that is not my type of story.
27Bloody PhantomOkay. So, not a story to take seriously. Just a silly, fun type of story. But that is not my type of story.
10/4/2018 c2 Anonymous
Ah! I love dear writer. I have a relative with the name Elezibeth R.A. And I know you but can you guess whom I be by this riddle "be honest be flurry as a bird graceful as a cat"?
Ah! I love dear writer. I have a relative with the name Elezibeth R.A. And I know you but can you guess whom I be by this riddle "be honest be flurry as a bird graceful as a cat"?
11/6/2016 c6 devilmaycryforever
I LOVED IT SO MUCH! THOUGHT YOU PERFECTLY ENDED IT! AND YOUR WRITING IS QUITE AMAZING AS I CAN'T SO READING YOUR STORIES! THANKS!
I LOVED IT SO MUCH! THOUGHT YOU PERFECTLY ENDED IT! AND YOUR WRITING IS QUITE AMAZING AS I CAN'T SO READING YOUR STORIES! THANKS!
6/17/2013 c6 2Accalia Michaels
i humbly thank you for making me ultra jealous of sarah and feeling bad for her oo. i loved every sentence of your story. pleasekee up the good work :)
2Accalia Michaelsi humbly thank you for making me ultra jealous of sarah and feeling bad for her oo. i loved every sentence of your story. pleasekee up the good work :)
3/4/2013 c5 Guiltilyinnocent
I will try to be gentle while still being honest, I think All the characters in this act in accordance with what Sarah would be thinking. They aren't individuals, no one thinks that maybe Toby was trying to do his best they all go along with a plan for revenge rather than being happy he's alive. Again with Sarah and Jareth, she thinks he'd love her so he just does. He asks her to marry him after Less than ten seconds, doesn't wait for her To brush her teeth or talk it through during breakfast. Why would he make himself so vulnerable so quickly? She just agrees to become queen of a land she's been in for less than a day, the labyrinth and Jareth don't wait to teach her something of the people or anything. It may be a fantasy story but I think it needs to be realistic in the characterisation.
Well done on releasing your work , i k ow that can be hard, but I think this needs more thought put into it.
I will try to be gentle while still being honest, I think All the characters in this act in accordance with what Sarah would be thinking. They aren't individuals, no one thinks that maybe Toby was trying to do his best they all go along with a plan for revenge rather than being happy he's alive. Again with Sarah and Jareth, she thinks he'd love her so he just does. He asks her to marry him after Less than ten seconds, doesn't wait for her To brush her teeth or talk it through during breakfast. Why would he make himself so vulnerable so quickly? She just agrees to become queen of a land she's been in for less than a day, the labyrinth and Jareth don't wait to teach her something of the people or anything. It may be a fantasy story but I think it needs to be realistic in the characterisation.
Well done on releasing your work , i k ow that can be hard, but I think this needs more thought put into it.
2/12/2013 c6 Guest
whew...wow..this was a good story! congratulations! :D
whew...wow..this was a good story! congratulations! :D
1/22/2013 c6 FallenAngelVamp
This was great story. xD ihm glad that yhu wit this. ...what shuld.i read next? X)
This was great story. xD ihm glad that yhu wit this. ...what shuld.i read next? X)
1/14/2013 c5 hungrypiranha
1 review and 5 fallows? Am I the only one to find a problem with that? love the citrus in this fic. If you keep on updating I'll keep reviewing.
1 review and 5 fallows? Am I the only one to find a problem with that? love the citrus in this fic. If you keep on updating I'll keep reviewing.