for The Return of Ahsoka11/20/2014 c25 mrtoasty97
read your story, and you may want to refix the last part on your story where Luke and Ahsoka said the lines what Han and Leia said at endor. She would remember finding out back chapter 19. Might want to look into that.
read your story, and you may want to refix the last part on your story where Luke and Ahsoka said the lines what Han and Leia said at endor. She would remember finding out back chapter 19. Might want to look into that.
11/9/2014 c25 
267gunman
Nice work on this. Hope I was helpful in some way.
Probably could have added more, but it seemed to go with the rest of the story.
Be interesting to see the final chapter.
Write on.
267gunmanNice work on this. Hope I was helpful in some way.
Probably could have added more, but it seemed to go with the rest of the story.
Be interesting to see the final chapter.
Write on.
11/8/2014 c25 10david.davies.5851
I predict two weddings very shortly; Leia and Han, Luka and Ahsoka.
10david.davies.5851I predict two weddings very shortly; Leia and Han, Luka and Ahsoka.
11/8/2014 c25 Marijke Bush
When is Chapter 26 of The Return of Ahsoka?
When is Chapter 26 of The Return of Ahsoka?
9/23/2014 c24 267gunman
I think a couple of lines here got 'confused', otherwise this was a nice little confrontation between Vader and his two 'children'.
It could have been longer, added more dialogue, but then again this is your story.
Look forward to more later on.
And just a side-note here, you don't have to add so much 'review notes' and 'authors note' at the start of this.
Just a thought.
Good work here.
Write on.
267gunmanI think a couple of lines here got 'confused', otherwise this was a nice little confrontation between Vader and his two 'children'.
It could have been longer, added more dialogue, but then again this is your story.
Look forward to more later on.
And just a side-note here, you don't have to add so much 'review notes' and 'authors note' at the start of this.
Just a thought.
Good work here.
Write on.
9/22/2014 c2 The Nuke
Well...um I dont quite understand it. The plot is easy enough to understand but I really dont get the shifting POV and constant use of bold print to tell us where what is happening. But Ill still read on and leave another review later.
Well...um I dont quite understand it. The plot is easy enough to understand but I really dont get the shifting POV and constant use of bold print to tell us where what is happening. But Ill still read on and leave another review later.
8/5/2014 c23 gunman
I see you didn't use ALL of my editing suggestions, which kinda makes this chapter a little flawed in some places.
I still see this as a better chapter than the last one. Still missing some important elements, and could have easily been elaborated on for the sake of the story. To either make it better or different.
And it is different with Ahsoka added to the group.
Just think about it.
Write on.
I see you didn't use ALL of my editing suggestions, which kinda makes this chapter a little flawed in some places.
I still see this as a better chapter than the last one. Still missing some important elements, and could have easily been elaborated on for the sake of the story. To either make it better or different.
And it is different with Ahsoka added to the group.
Just think about it.
Write on.
7/2/2014 c22 gunman
While I was expecting a little more description for this chapter concerning the Ewoks and their village and even about Leia and Ahsoka wearing dresses made by the Ewoks.
Which is kinda strange if you think about it.
Despite that, you seem to be going pretty good with this story.
Story could use a bit of editing and such. Just saying.
Write on.
While I was expecting a little more description for this chapter concerning the Ewoks and their village and even about Leia and Ahsoka wearing dresses made by the Ewoks.
Which is kinda strange if you think about it.
Despite that, you seem to be going pretty good with this story.
Story could use a bit of editing and such. Just saying.
Write on.