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for Ha'i'ole (Unbreakable) Retake

2/10/2013 c5 3Dadamcgarrett
Just finished reading the fic and really enjoyed it! :) you wrote well! Thanks for your support with my stories too!
2/3/2013 c5 Bushy4
Great ending to a great story
2/3/2013 c5 Guest
Nice story. You maybe could use a beta for the mistakes.
2/2/2013 c5 4Ladyy G
Yayyyy Sweet Ending! Loved it! :)
2/1/2013 c4 36francis2
Nice. Looking forward to next chapter.
2/1/2013 c4 4Ladyy G
Awwwe loved it gurl! Can't wait for the final chapter! Happy Endings:)) thanks for the shout-out! XD
1/23/2013 c1 Guest
I like the idea.
1/23/2013 c1 Guest
Your writing has improved from your last few stories, which is good. This one's missing quite a few quotation marks and punctuation marks though. (It would also be easier for the reader if you have a double line jump for each line of dialogue from a specifics person.) I found that you wrote Steve and Kono out of character (Kono wouldn't be kissing his body randomly), and the stuttering was a bit too much.

But overall, a good improvement from your previous stories.
1/23/2013 c1 Guest
Brilliant! Please continue!
1/23/2013 c1 Bushy4
Brought back memories with this story. Can't wait for the next chapter
1/23/2013 c1 Guest
sweet! keep up the good work, i love it:)
1/23/2013 c1 thetimedoctor
This is great, I've always wanted to see a Steve-Kono side of this chapter.
1/23/2013 c1 rebecca List
i really liked this story a lot,i hope you post the next chapter very soon
1/23/2013 c1 Ladyy G
LOVED IT! :) Can't wait for the next chapter! XD

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