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1/27/2013 c1 157Farla
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

[ She had been held up due to an odd rule, one that stated the of-age children of a divorcing couple were to be held back until the case had been settled. ]

That seems rather out of left field, without any real connection between the two things. If she's getting held up for a bit, something like illness seems it'd fit better.

[They had decided to get her the extra Pokemon as an apology, and in a way as protection. Other trainers would take her at face value, and assume her age meant she was already an experienced trainer like themselves. Making sure she had two defenders right out of the gate meant she could insist on a one on one, then have the second Pokemon left to defend her while the one who had fought recovered. ]

This though, is very nicely thought out.

[The Gible had sat in her lap, almost vibrating out of his scales. The Totodile had been a stark contrast, eyeing the camera with the reptilian disdain one might see in…Oh, a Snivy, for instance. That look saying do hurry up, I have better things to do than this. ]

Cute description.

You seem to have dropped your ending italics tag, the rest of it's all italicized.

The pokemon seem interesting and I like how the variety in ways she gets them, particularly the starly, although the final two seem phoned-in - two really popular pokemon who are somehow siblings who she also gets as presents like her first two?
1/24/2013 c1 52Damned Lolita
Congrats, honey! I absolutely loved it. 3

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