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for Shroud of Darkness 1: Sera

1/31/2013 c4 40Concolor44
Uhhhhhhh...boy. Not good.

"Drayvern", huh? And WORSE than demons?


Here's hoping you post the next chapter soon. I am terribly, terribly curious.
1/31/2013 c3 Concolor44
Hello? Demon? Of COURSE it was brutal!

So. Yet another curve tossed into the plot. I don't like this Ares at all.
1/31/2013 c2 Concolor44
My goodness. So many unique concepts in such a short time. "Sword of Retribution" I like that. Has a nice, round ring to it. But "Guardian of Light" is even better.

This is a very imaginative tale. I'm eager to see where it goes.

(p.s.: If you'd like a beta for copy-editing purposes, I would be happy to fill that spot.)
1/31/2013 c4 Josef Sieffen
I have been a reader of your stories for a long time and I must say, you pull off yuri fanfiction amazingly well. And this particular one has piqued my interest. First off you put a lot of effort into the angel/demon plot you have. Second, your OCs are rather charming and, in both cases, fatally beautiful. Ares in particular is quickly, yet strangely, my favorite, with her seductive, yet brutal style of combat. Keep up the good work.
1/29/2013 c4 217Goth Albino Angel
Lol, best way to relieve stress, shoot someone with black magic.

Okay, I know it's this big thing or whatever, but the team asks too many questions! And then Robin with his self-righteous ass. If it was his business, Raven would have told him.

Ah! That was so chiller it was almost CHAMPION. "Pardon my interruption, but can I tell you to shut the fuck up?" Tear him a new one, Sera!

"And I think getting my ass kicked and nearly killed makes me an expert." Raven and Beast Boy need to go at it more often, it's jjust too funny. You do it so well too. *Bows* teach me the ways of your writing master.

And another question: how do you know so many DINOSAURS?

And you said you weren't a poet. Liar. :)

Holy crap as soon as I saw the name Pyra, I was like, "No... it couldn't be!" Then, because I saw her name before the explanation, I went back up and sure enough it was!" Great job and naturally, I have inside intel. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)

Goth Angel Tiger
1/29/2013 c4 dbnotlogged
Twins much? I'm not sure if I want them to be fighting over Raven but it would be an interesting side point. They don't seem to be polar opposites to me as they both like "ice cream" (hey don't knock brain-flavor, clearly it has to be good if zombies live for it) but clearly aren't alike.

If they are twins, should be an interesting throw-down when they cross paths.
1/27/2013 c3 Goth Albino Angel
Okay... wow. I'm gonna focus on the beginning in a second. First, let's focus on the end. Holy SHIT (excuse my language)! I LOVE Ares! Oh my Goddess, I feel like I'm going to die RIGHT NOW. I love her so much. She's so... so... woooooooowwwwww.

Alright, minfreakout now over. Aw, Sera and Raven got ice cream together. How cute is that? It's so sweet, but it's really sad about Sera's parents. :(

Wait... how did Ares get into Raven's room?
1/27/2013 c2 Goth Albino Angel
And now Robin's being SENTIMENTAL? I'm at a loss for words, really. Holy crap! There's a COUNCIL of GUARDIANS? I'm gonna, I need... this is... whoa. And now she's Raven's Guardian Angel? Lucky Raven! Lucky Sera too! Lol, did Sera really say getting ice cream? You needed comic relief didn't you? Come on admit it! That was pretty funny, made me chuckle.

"What? I'm an angel, not a saint." From now on, that will be my catchphrase when anyone asks me why my wings aren't white or why I have horns or why I have a spear-headed tail. I'll tell'em that and leave it there.
1/27/2013 c1 Goth Albino Angel
Woohoo! You... I... it's... I LOVE you for adding in the fact that Raven loved Starfire. If I could, I'd HUG you!

As for the conflict between Starfire and Raven... that's so sad. I understand why raven would say it that way, though. When you're hurting, stuff comes out. I should know. Poor Rae.

And you're so freaking spot on about Robin. I always try to convey his persona in my stories, but mine comes off as too extreme. You put it into Raven's thoughts and it's... perfect. *pout* Unfair. And then to make him appear so freaking reasonable. Ugh! How do you do this!

Whoa though, did not expect to see the demon, but then, since it was the reason for Sera coming in, I think that to be a... bad good thing?

Of course Sera would use a KISS to heal Raven. Lol, Raven passed out. Ha! I liked it and I totally can't wait to read the next chapter.
1/27/2013 c3 1Zabon95
That was AWESOME!
1/26/2013 c3 2Kigo4evR
Whoa talk about a cold blooded killer... Heheheh ;) nice chap!
1/26/2013 c3 discb
Kinky ending man...
-insert Ares killing reviewer here-
1/26/2013 c2 1Zabon95
More, plz more!
1/26/2013 c2 2Kigo4evR
omg awesome! cant wait for next chap!
1/26/2013 c2 25DarkDarsi
Two Complaints, You Should Make A Bit Better Of An Indication Of POV Changes, I Thought Raven Was Just Having A Flash Back When The Italics Started.
Next Thing Is That It's Plains, Not Planes.
No Other Complaints.

Your Mate DarkDarsi
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