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for the beginnings of life

1/12/2015 c1 3Misaki Takahashi A Bunny's Toy
Ano... Usagi-san... you should really be focused on finishing your book... Aikawa will be angry... eto... great story though...
10/10/2014 c1 Guest
LOL this is so bad it's hilarious.
2/1/2013 c1 Little0Tsundere
I'm very impressed with the story. However you seem to be using a play type of format. Instead of having bunched up together it should look somewhat like this.

*describing sequence*

Misaki: *Dialogue*
Takahiro: *Dialogue*

and so on. Play format is very simple to learn, and it goes in a pattern.
1/30/2013 c1 3lv90047
It's really good! I was really entranced with this chapter.
But I must admit you need to break your sentences into paragraphs. It can get hard to read in a while.
But other than that, everything was perfect. :) I do hope you continue.
1/30/2013 c1 kayseep
You need breaks in here somewhere mygoodness. It hurts my eyes to much to continue reading. D:

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