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3/9/2013 c1 7NamikazeMia
just started watching the anime today and i loved it

your fic has a great start please update soon,,,,
1/29/2013 c1 Blue Rogue Linds
I enjoy a good Ren/OC as much as the next UtaPritard, but this was just...weird? Is that the right word?

You did separate your Author's Notes, so kudos for that. They were a bit long, though. Try cutting down on them. And Kisa isn't a bad OC; she just needs a bit more development. She strikes me as a flat character, with no dimension to her personality. Try spicing things up by giving her a serious flaw or physical defect.

Switching POVs in the middle of your story only serves one purpose: Confusing the ever loving daylights out of your reader. I'm sure this isn't what you wanted or intended, either. So please stick to ONE POV to avoid such blunders in the future.

Throwing in random Japanese dialect when your story is written in English and your characters are speaking mostly English looks stupid and inconsistent. Please refrain from doing so in future chapters.

Good luck with your story.
1/27/2013 c1 1Hotomi-Tsukino
Oh. Poor Ren. :( I need more.

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