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for Good luck soaring on the wings of Death

1/27/2015 c1 9Lady Vyxen
The storyline is interesting and the title sounds great!

However the are small things - I would consider dividing it into smaller paragraphs, because there are huge textblocks and it makes the story harder to read.

The same with flashbacks - just incorporate them with the story, but delete those words "end of flashback", it doesn't look good and I think it may scare away some readers.

The story is dark and the narrative is done very well. I love the detailed descriptions, which make it more climatic. Sometimes the sentences are too long for me and I had to re-read few timesto get themeaning, but I'm not a native English speaker, so maybe it's just me :)

I would love to read more of your story. I hope that you will overcome whatever keeps you from updating and from reading your beloved stories.
2/26/2013 c1 Guest
Psycho with long, boring paragraphs. Your profile is sad and narcissistic. Get a life!

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