for A Boy and Girl Affair5/6/2014 c14 
20A Hidden Path
Ahhhahahaha, this is one of those "was it or wasn't it?" scenarios, eh? Can I say that I'm impressed TK managed to freak Matt and Tai out so much with nothing but a sheet and some arm waving? Because that's pretty epic.
I love the dialogue between Izzy and Hana at the beginning. There they are, and Hana is flipping out and demanding that Izzy ensure her safety, and Izzy's trying to get her to shut up enough so that he can have some hope of concentrating, and it all very much highlights the differences between them... Izzy the unamused and beleaguered, Hana the hysterical and demanding. And I love that Izzy latches onto the plan of having Hana follow the horror movie logic that she subscribes to in order to calm her down. It's simple and brilliant, and it's really something he would do, I think.
But I guess, if I could offer a critique here (and, I precede it, as always, with 'seriously though dude, what the heck do I know?'), it would be that I'm not sure if the bonding moment between them at the end was earned. Izzy didn't seem very impressed with Hana's behavior during the ghost incident- quite the opposite, really. I'm guessing the turning point was when something shoved him, and Hana said that she hadn't touched him. But that's when we're taken out of Izzy's head, and he doesn't comment on his opinion about the supernatural aspect of that night until he sees the face in the video. And really, he still doesn't comment, other than to go find Hana, at which point we're told, more or less point blank, that he's convinced something supernatural did happen, and that it's connected him to Hana in some way.
It seems to me that that bonding moment needs to be reduced, or Izzy's thoughts and feelings leading up to it need to be explored more. Right now, I think it might be lacking in balance. But of course, my need for writing feng shui may not be shared by other readers. It's just how I happen to roll XD
Lovely arc, my friend, ending with the mental image of Matt tackling TK, which I think I'm finding a little too funny XD I'm looking forward to whatever you cook up for us next :D
20A Hidden PathAhhhahahaha, this is one of those "was it or wasn't it?" scenarios, eh? Can I say that I'm impressed TK managed to freak Matt and Tai out so much with nothing but a sheet and some arm waving? Because that's pretty epic.
I love the dialogue between Izzy and Hana at the beginning. There they are, and Hana is flipping out and demanding that Izzy ensure her safety, and Izzy's trying to get her to shut up enough so that he can have some hope of concentrating, and it all very much highlights the differences between them... Izzy the unamused and beleaguered, Hana the hysterical and demanding. And I love that Izzy latches onto the plan of having Hana follow the horror movie logic that she subscribes to in order to calm her down. It's simple and brilliant, and it's really something he would do, I think.
But I guess, if I could offer a critique here (and, I precede it, as always, with 'seriously though dude, what the heck do I know?'), it would be that I'm not sure if the bonding moment between them at the end was earned. Izzy didn't seem very impressed with Hana's behavior during the ghost incident- quite the opposite, really. I'm guessing the turning point was when something shoved him, and Hana said that she hadn't touched him. But that's when we're taken out of Izzy's head, and he doesn't comment on his opinion about the supernatural aspect of that night until he sees the face in the video. And really, he still doesn't comment, other than to go find Hana, at which point we're told, more or less point blank, that he's convinced something supernatural did happen, and that it's connected him to Hana in some way.
It seems to me that that bonding moment needs to be reduced, or Izzy's thoughts and feelings leading up to it need to be explored more. Right now, I think it might be lacking in balance. But of course, my need for writing feng shui may not be shared by other readers. It's just how I happen to roll XD
Lovely arc, my friend, ending with the mental image of Matt tackling TK, which I think I'm finding a little too funny XD I'm looking forward to whatever you cook up for us next :D
5/5/2014 c14 NegaiKoumi
Koo Nice chap Good Read and that was a blast! Update Soon Koumi Gone Kuz..
Koo Nice chap Good Read and that was a blast! Update Soon Koumi Gone Kuz..
4/24/2014 c13 NegaiKoumi
Nice chap Kuz coo Read I hope you Update soon and I loved the small Koumi Hint as well! Peace I'm Gone yo..
Nice chap Kuz coo Read I hope you Update soon and I loved the small Koumi Hint as well! Peace I'm Gone yo..
4/24/2014 c13 A Hidden Path
Hahaha, all I can think of is, "Cheese it, Tai, it's a ghost!" XD
Okay, obviously, this is where I insert my joy that you updated. Ahhhh! XD I'm so happy :D
I really love that Matt and Izzy are gossiping like old women while Sora essentially says, "Get a life, dudes." Excellent. Sora will have none of your shenanigans.
Pffffffffffff look at Tai, holding gym class over Izzy's head when we all know that Izzy's probably spent 1,000 hours plus helping Tai with school over the years XD Taichi... XD
Can I just say that I love, love, love how Matt and Tai talk to each other? Who else can say "asshole" and mean it affectionately? XD
And it looks like TK is dipping into acting, here! Part of me suspects that he's behind any extra mischief in this story, but that might just be because I see him that way. You know. A boy who, with great joy, creates trouble for all.
Oh god, and you really got me with Daisuke's territorial feelings towards his use of "senpai." Davis has such a man crush on Tai, it's adorable and ridiculous.
And Izzy, poor Izzy... This was no small thing that Tai was asking for, geez! Deal with my hysterical, overly-dramatic girlfriend? I love that Matt had a moment of gratitude for not having that task. It just tells you how bad it would be. Actually, I appreciate Matt's attitude towards occult stuff, you know, respecting that it could be there, and preferring to leave it be rather than poking at it. Then there's Izzy, who just thinks it's bunk and tries so hard to make Hana see it that way, but I loved that moment when he understood just how much his attempt totally backfired.
I am very much looking forward to seeing what Izzy has to deal with in part two XD Fingers crossed that we see part two up before too too long? :)
Thanks so much for the update! Looking forward to MOAR :D
Hahaha, all I can think of is, "Cheese it, Tai, it's a ghost!" XD
Okay, obviously, this is where I insert my joy that you updated. Ahhhh! XD I'm so happy :D
I really love that Matt and Izzy are gossiping like old women while Sora essentially says, "Get a life, dudes." Excellent. Sora will have none of your shenanigans.
Pffffffffffff look at Tai, holding gym class over Izzy's head when we all know that Izzy's probably spent 1,000 hours plus helping Tai with school over the years XD Taichi... XD
Can I just say that I love, love, love how Matt and Tai talk to each other? Who else can say "asshole" and mean it affectionately? XD
And it looks like TK is dipping into acting, here! Part of me suspects that he's behind any extra mischief in this story, but that might just be because I see him that way. You know. A boy who, with great joy, creates trouble for all.
Oh god, and you really got me with Daisuke's territorial feelings towards his use of "senpai." Davis has such a man crush on Tai, it's adorable and ridiculous.
And Izzy, poor Izzy... This was no small thing that Tai was asking for, geez! Deal with my hysterical, overly-dramatic girlfriend? I love that Matt had a moment of gratitude for not having that task. It just tells you how bad it would be. Actually, I appreciate Matt's attitude towards occult stuff, you know, respecting that it could be there, and preferring to leave it be rather than poking at it. Then there's Izzy, who just thinks it's bunk and tries so hard to make Hana see it that way, but I loved that moment when he understood just how much his attempt totally backfired.
I am very much looking forward to seeing what Izzy has to deal with in part two XD Fingers crossed that we see part two up before too too long? :)
Thanks so much for the update! Looking forward to MOAR :D
3/17/2014 c6 5blueberrrykisses
I have to admit that this little section of the story has been my favorite and I'm sure you can guess why. ;)
Matt in the Digimon series always seems so laid-back & aloof (I'm talking about the second season) so for you to write him where he's clearly and obviously broken over his breakup with Sora's relationship is just so perfect.
I love re-reading this because it's one of the few Sorato's that I really like (as short as this mini series is)
Perhaps you should make a Sorato story? ;) Just a thought.
5blueberrrykissesI have to admit that this little section of the story has been my favorite and I'm sure you can guess why. ;)
Matt in the Digimon series always seems so laid-back & aloof (I'm talking about the second season) so for you to write him where he's clearly and obviously broken over his breakup with Sora's relationship is just so perfect.
I love re-reading this because it's one of the few Sorato's that I really like (as short as this mini series is)
Perhaps you should make a Sorato story? ;) Just a thought.
11/6/2013 c1 Appealtoreason
Ryo's still a butthole, just not a dickhead too.
And France chapters pl0x
Ryo's still a butthole, just not a dickhead too.
And France chapters pl0x
11/4/2013 c12 3Jenificent3007
Happy to see another chapter from you!
C'était très fantastique.
I loved finding out more about your OC's past, they're pretty cool OC's, especially Hana.
Keep writing!:-)
3Jenificent3007Happy to see another chapter from you!
C'était très fantastique.
I loved finding out more about your OC's past, they're pretty cool OC's, especially Hana.
Keep writing!:-)
11/3/2013 c12 NegaiKoumi
Next chap love the small Sorato hints! No Koumi but I Keep my eyes open I hope you update Soon Kuz Koumi/Sorato Out fasho til next-time and Koo Read..
Next chap love the small Sorato hints! No Koumi but I Keep my eyes open I hope you update Soon Kuz Koumi/Sorato Out fasho til next-time and Koo Read..
11/3/2013 c12 20A Hidden Path
Oh, dude, why are you doing this to me. You're making me resort to using all caps to convey my depth of feeling, here. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR READERS. I AM SO SAD. SO VERY, VERY SAD.
Seriously, I think my heartstrings got stretched from all of this tugging. And now my brain is going on this pointless trip where I imagine what Yamato, Sora, and Koushiro said to Tai, and what Eimi might say in a similar situation (I can't help but think that she would refuse to let go of his hand, causing an uncomfortable moment where someone has to point out that other people want to talk to Tai alone, and then it's awkward). Seriously, can you imagine the rant from Yamato?
You know I love Ryo. You know I do. But I find it kind of interesting that he's bemoaning Hana's lack of trust in him, given what he has done to her. But I think he's not confused about it... He's just sad about it. The most redeeming moment for him here was his painfully wondering if Hana's mother could forgive him for his treatment of Hana (at least, for me). I also wonder if Hana realizes that Ryo is talking about his relationship with her at the end, there. Ryo says that he's speaking from experience, but does Hana know that it's her he keeps coming back to, no matter how much he seems to want to put some distance between the two of them?
Ugghhh I find him soooo interesting, I just can't. I keep wanting to write him off as a pretentious jerk, but then he drops a thought that he seems to think is offhand and brusque, but it's actually pointing to his warmer side, and then I go "uuunnngghhh you are so ahhh I love you." You are so good.
I was tempted to be angry at you- C'mon, putting Tai in the hospital, that's such an easy way to get an emotional response from everyone, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO OUR BELOVED GOGGLE MAN. But it was the perfect trigger for so much delicious, painful back story. You pulled it off, you really did, and that is hard to do, so hard.
I think I need to study this and get your flow for description and non-dialogue in general. My writing for nanowrimo keeps being filled with an endless stream of dialogue, keeping me safely in what I feel confident in, and auuugh THAT IS NOT WHY I'M DOING THIS.
Whatever. I feel kind of emotionally battered, now. This was amazing. Absolutely my favorite chapter of this story. Thank you. Just let me collapse against my keyboard now. YOU ARE AWESOME, MY LADYBRO. I has much authorly love for you right now.
20A Hidden PathOh, dude, why are you doing this to me. You're making me resort to using all caps to convey my depth of feeling, here. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR READERS. I AM SO SAD. SO VERY, VERY SAD.
Seriously, I think my heartstrings got stretched from all of this tugging. And now my brain is going on this pointless trip where I imagine what Yamato, Sora, and Koushiro said to Tai, and what Eimi might say in a similar situation (I can't help but think that she would refuse to let go of his hand, causing an uncomfortable moment where someone has to point out that other people want to talk to Tai alone, and then it's awkward). Seriously, can you imagine the rant from Yamato?
You know I love Ryo. You know I do. But I find it kind of interesting that he's bemoaning Hana's lack of trust in him, given what he has done to her. But I think he's not confused about it... He's just sad about it. The most redeeming moment for him here was his painfully wondering if Hana's mother could forgive him for his treatment of Hana (at least, for me). I also wonder if Hana realizes that Ryo is talking about his relationship with her at the end, there. Ryo says that he's speaking from experience, but does Hana know that it's her he keeps coming back to, no matter how much he seems to want to put some distance between the two of them?
Ugghhh I find him soooo interesting, I just can't. I keep wanting to write him off as a pretentious jerk, but then he drops a thought that he seems to think is offhand and brusque, but it's actually pointing to his warmer side, and then I go "uuunnngghhh you are so ahhh I love you." You are so good.
I was tempted to be angry at you- C'mon, putting Tai in the hospital, that's such an easy way to get an emotional response from everyone, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO OUR BELOVED GOGGLE MAN. But it was the perfect trigger for so much delicious, painful back story. You pulled it off, you really did, and that is hard to do, so hard.
I think I need to study this and get your flow for description and non-dialogue in general. My writing for nanowrimo keeps being filled with an endless stream of dialogue, keeping me safely in what I feel confident in, and auuugh THAT IS NOT WHY I'M DOING THIS.
Whatever. I feel kind of emotionally battered, now. This was amazing. Absolutely my favorite chapter of this story. Thank you. Just let me collapse against my keyboard now. YOU ARE AWESOME, MY LADYBRO. I has much authorly love for you right now.
9/2/2013 c11 43EmD23
So that ending...they're finally sleeping together? I remember they weren't before, Hana would stop it.
43EmD23So that ending...they're finally sleeping together? I remember they weren't before, Hana would stop it.
8/19/2013 c11 Appealtoreason
YAY
I usually hate OC's but I love Hana.
More stories.
Go back to France too.
YAY
I usually hate OC's but I love Hana.
More stories.
Go back to France too.
8/19/2013 c11 20A Hidden Path
Okay, first, WTH is aloe vera juice? That sounds disgusting, ewww! We have an aloe vera plant in the office... I can't imagine making a juice out of it, lol.
Now, as someone who is dieting before her wedding, this felt pretty pertinent! We can all be a bit silly about our weight, but Hana's over the top episode was just...well, over the top, lol! I love how she does everything full force. Can't you ever sit still, Hana?
Ohhh, Tai, Tai, Tai. I love that he justifies his eating habits by flashing his abs. That... That's exactly what he would do. So perfect XD And I love that he gets smacked for it, the boy needs it, lol! And, of course, his way of writing off her weight gain as "more curves for me, yeesss" is also great.
Haha, people don't realize that granola is actually really high in calories (go figure, right?).
Uhh... Hmm, you know, I'm not sure where I stand on this issue. I feel like Matt gave the best advice (humor her, essentially). But I'm not entirely sure that it's the advice I'd go with... Is it really necessary to let your girlfriend dictate your food and exercise habits? I think Tai and I might be equally insensitive in today's issue, lol! There's support (hey, Hana, how's the diet going? I bought you this book on healthy food) and then there's taking up someone's habits for them. I'm told I think a bit like a boy sometimes, though. Maybe I'm wrong? But I don't see why Mimi and Sora have to give Tai the business over this? Of course, watching Mimi scold someone is always pretty great.
I wonder why Hana sometimes goes into a rage over something (like Tai not using her camera), and she sometimes asks for information first, tries to understand why things are happening as they are before reacting. Maybe you can tell me a little about that?
YEEEEESS Ryo! XD Hahaha, I think I'm his biggest fan, I have to say. Also, are you approaching my requested chapter? Hooray! XD AND... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D :D I hope you had yummy cake XD
I am so happy to see new stuff from you! Thanks for updating :D
20A Hidden PathOkay, first, WTH is aloe vera juice? That sounds disgusting, ewww! We have an aloe vera plant in the office... I can't imagine making a juice out of it, lol.
Now, as someone who is dieting before her wedding, this felt pretty pertinent! We can all be a bit silly about our weight, but Hana's over the top episode was just...well, over the top, lol! I love how she does everything full force. Can't you ever sit still, Hana?
Ohhh, Tai, Tai, Tai. I love that he justifies his eating habits by flashing his abs. That... That's exactly what he would do. So perfect XD And I love that he gets smacked for it, the boy needs it, lol! And, of course, his way of writing off her weight gain as "more curves for me, yeesss" is also great.
Haha, people don't realize that granola is actually really high in calories (go figure, right?).
Uhh... Hmm, you know, I'm not sure where I stand on this issue. I feel like Matt gave the best advice (humor her, essentially). But I'm not entirely sure that it's the advice I'd go with... Is it really necessary to let your girlfriend dictate your food and exercise habits? I think Tai and I might be equally insensitive in today's issue, lol! There's support (hey, Hana, how's the diet going? I bought you this book on healthy food) and then there's taking up someone's habits for them. I'm told I think a bit like a boy sometimes, though. Maybe I'm wrong? But I don't see why Mimi and Sora have to give Tai the business over this? Of course, watching Mimi scold someone is always pretty great.
I wonder why Hana sometimes goes into a rage over something (like Tai not using her camera), and she sometimes asks for information first, tries to understand why things are happening as they are before reacting. Maybe you can tell me a little about that?
YEEEEESS Ryo! XD Hahaha, I think I'm his biggest fan, I have to say. Also, are you approaching my requested chapter? Hooray! XD AND... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D :D I hope you had yummy cake XD
I am so happy to see new stuff from you! Thanks for updating :D