for A Boy and Girl Affair3/5/2013 c4 
20A Hidden Path
Okay, I hope I don't offend by asking, but... Did I teach you the word "mellifluous"? The reason I ask is because I just learned it a month or two ago, and I keep using it like a crazy person because I think it's an awesome word, and when I saw it in this update I was like HEY HOLY COW MELLIFLUOUS and there was much excitement and flailing, hahaha!
Okay, focus back in, Hidden... You probably know that I have a soft spot for comedy, so I think my favorite line here was Tai running into the girl's bathroom and saying, "Don't mind me, sick girlfriend coming through!" or whatever the exact quote was, ahhh, so funny, and definitely something he would do!
I suppose I have a few questions about Sora. I'm not sure why she was upset with Matt for bringing Hana to their favorite restaurant when she brought Tai there, herself (and dressed up!). She seems the type who would automatically see the double standard of that anger. I also don't know if I could see her screaming at someone in public- in private, yes, anyone can explode- but in public, I'm not sure. But then, I never considered myself an expert on handling Sora, so I'm not sure how much attention I would pay to my advice. I also wanted to confirm- did someone set up that meeting with everyone in the restaurant, or did that just happen? I wasn't sure which was implied. I'm so curious as to what actually happened, ahhhhhgh.
I liked Izzy's take on what Tai asked him. Tai whines, and Izzy's like, "Well, what did you expect?" and gives him such a blunt, fact-based answer. And then he's like, "This is high school, deal with it," and I'm like yeeeeees I love this! And then he pats his shoulder and I'm all d'aww :D And now I'm just gushing about Izzy, so moving on!
I wasn't sure how to follow the language describing the kiss at the end. I sense that it's a little winding and lurching in how it reads because the moment is so strange and catastrophic for Tai, but I struggled to make sense of it- they do kiss, right? And is that light he sees lightening? I would maybe consider working over that part, so that it makes more sense, but still captures that fractured feeling you're going for.
Whew! This just keeps getting heavier and heavier! I'm really looking forward to the next installment. As always, thanks so much for the great entertainment, I loved it :D
20A Hidden PathOkay, I hope I don't offend by asking, but... Did I teach you the word "mellifluous"? The reason I ask is because I just learned it a month or two ago, and I keep using it like a crazy person because I think it's an awesome word, and when I saw it in this update I was like HEY HOLY COW MELLIFLUOUS and there was much excitement and flailing, hahaha!
Okay, focus back in, Hidden... You probably know that I have a soft spot for comedy, so I think my favorite line here was Tai running into the girl's bathroom and saying, "Don't mind me, sick girlfriend coming through!" or whatever the exact quote was, ahhh, so funny, and definitely something he would do!
I suppose I have a few questions about Sora. I'm not sure why she was upset with Matt for bringing Hana to their favorite restaurant when she brought Tai there, herself (and dressed up!). She seems the type who would automatically see the double standard of that anger. I also don't know if I could see her screaming at someone in public- in private, yes, anyone can explode- but in public, I'm not sure. But then, I never considered myself an expert on handling Sora, so I'm not sure how much attention I would pay to my advice. I also wanted to confirm- did someone set up that meeting with everyone in the restaurant, or did that just happen? I wasn't sure which was implied. I'm so curious as to what actually happened, ahhhhhgh.
I liked Izzy's take on what Tai asked him. Tai whines, and Izzy's like, "Well, what did you expect?" and gives him such a blunt, fact-based answer. And then he's like, "This is high school, deal with it," and I'm like yeeeeees I love this! And then he pats his shoulder and I'm all d'aww :D And now I'm just gushing about Izzy, so moving on!
I wasn't sure how to follow the language describing the kiss at the end. I sense that it's a little winding and lurching in how it reads because the moment is so strange and catastrophic for Tai, but I struggled to make sense of it- they do kiss, right? And is that light he sees lightening? I would maybe consider working over that part, so that it makes more sense, but still captures that fractured feeling you're going for.
Whew! This just keeps getting heavier and heavier! I'm really looking forward to the next installment. As always, thanks so much for the great entertainment, I loved it :D
2/27/2013 c3 Guest
Wow. You're an excellent writer. I'm so impressed.
You have a really excellent grasp on the characters of Digimon. You nailed Matt. Whack? No way. He was perfect. You got the thoughtfulness, sensitivity and chivalry down pat. He is different from Tai, and you know how to write both characters.
I believe Matt would break down, but I'm not sure he would do it in front of someone he doesn't know that well. And by that I mean someone other than Sora, heh. I really hope we get to hear Matt's explanation of his misdeeds. I want them back together soon!
Although I don't really like original characters, yours is at least very well thought out and written. I like her.
Well done on an amazing chapter. I look forward to your next update.
(I also urge you to write a canon Sorato because it would be so nice to have someone so talented try their hand at the couple. I love this story too though.)
Wow. You're an excellent writer. I'm so impressed.
You have a really excellent grasp on the characters of Digimon. You nailed Matt. Whack? No way. He was perfect. You got the thoughtfulness, sensitivity and chivalry down pat. He is different from Tai, and you know how to write both characters.
I believe Matt would break down, but I'm not sure he would do it in front of someone he doesn't know that well. And by that I mean someone other than Sora, heh. I really hope we get to hear Matt's explanation of his misdeeds. I want them back together soon!
Although I don't really like original characters, yours is at least very well thought out and written. I like her.
Well done on an amazing chapter. I look forward to your next update.
(I also urge you to write a canon Sorato because it would be so nice to have someone so talented try their hand at the couple. I love this story too though.)
2/27/2013 c3 Appealtoreason
Moar plz. Ill forgive the lack of France chapters because this is so deliciously awesome.
Moar plz. Ill forgive the lack of France chapters because this is so deliciously awesome.
2/26/2013 c3 Koumi-Loc
Nid33 Read kuz good chap too...
Nid33 Read kuz good chap too...
2/26/2013 c3 20A Hidden Path
Heavy stuff, dude. Heavy stuff.
Hmm... I think I have to withhold character comments until I find out just what it was that Matt did. Because, from this angle, it seems like Tai and Sora are being almost cruel, which I don't think is like them. But I'm sure you're going to drop something else on us, so I will wait patiently XD
There were some things I really liked about how you portrayed Yama here. My favorite part with him was probably the beginning, those silent signs of a problem that I agree would be his only expression of being hurt. I also loved all of his little signs of chivalry, and the way Hana realizes that, in many ways, he's a more thoughtful person than Tai, although it's simultaneously a little frustrating to see how quickly and easily her mind goes there. But, if you're drunk and watching someone hurt, and also (rightfully, I think) annoyed at how you've been treated... Yeah, I can give her a pass for that.
But I do find it a little strange how quickly romantic tension seems to be building between Hana and Matt. All of these strange moods between them, Hana's hyper awareness of how his treatment of her is superior to Tai's... Seems like all it takes is for Tai and Sora to not be in the room, and a little alcohol, for the tension to flow. But this could just be me; I tend to dislike jealousy/love triangle type things, unless they are handled slowly and with lots of yummy foreshadowing XD (But you know me and slowness and hints).
And Hana running right out of the door when Matt breaks down, oh my gosh, so bad (and yet I also find it hilarious, which I think means I'm a bad person, lol). Here's where Hana and Amy differ; Amy would have clung to him like velcro until he got so pissed that he tossed her out the door, haha.
Oh yeah, I think my favorite detail here is that Matt kept all of Sora's cards, that is the kind of super sweet and sensitive thing that I totally see Matt doing, and not telling anyone about, and being embarrassed and tempermental if someone brought it up. Love it. But I wonder, would Matt really break down like that? I have no idea, I need to know what happened.
So get on that! XD No, seriously, this was a really well written chapter, I was just absorbing the flow and the language. Thanks for the entertainment :)
20A Hidden PathHeavy stuff, dude. Heavy stuff.
Hmm... I think I have to withhold character comments until I find out just what it was that Matt did. Because, from this angle, it seems like Tai and Sora are being almost cruel, which I don't think is like them. But I'm sure you're going to drop something else on us, so I will wait patiently XD
There were some things I really liked about how you portrayed Yama here. My favorite part with him was probably the beginning, those silent signs of a problem that I agree would be his only expression of being hurt. I also loved all of his little signs of chivalry, and the way Hana realizes that, in many ways, he's a more thoughtful person than Tai, although it's simultaneously a little frustrating to see how quickly and easily her mind goes there. But, if you're drunk and watching someone hurt, and also (rightfully, I think) annoyed at how you've been treated... Yeah, I can give her a pass for that.
But I do find it a little strange how quickly romantic tension seems to be building between Hana and Matt. All of these strange moods between them, Hana's hyper awareness of how his treatment of her is superior to Tai's... Seems like all it takes is for Tai and Sora to not be in the room, and a little alcohol, for the tension to flow. But this could just be me; I tend to dislike jealousy/love triangle type things, unless they are handled slowly and with lots of yummy foreshadowing XD (But you know me and slowness and hints).
And Hana running right out of the door when Matt breaks down, oh my gosh, so bad (and yet I also find it hilarious, which I think means I'm a bad person, lol). Here's where Hana and Amy differ; Amy would have clung to him like velcro until he got so pissed that he tossed her out the door, haha.
Oh yeah, I think my favorite detail here is that Matt kept all of Sora's cards, that is the kind of super sweet and sensitive thing that I totally see Matt doing, and not telling anyone about, and being embarrassed and tempermental if someone brought it up. Love it. But I wonder, would Matt really break down like that? I have no idea, I need to know what happened.
So get on that! XD No, seriously, this was a really well written chapter, I was just absorbing the flow and the language. Thanks for the entertainment :)
2/24/2013 c2 Guest
Post the Sorato break-up! Then you can write them getting back together again by the fifth one! :D :D :D haha.
You're a really good writer by the way. That's so nice to find! Keep on writing. :)
Post the Sorato break-up! Then you can write them getting back together again by the fifth one! :D :D :D haha.
You're a really good writer by the way. That's so nice to find! Keep on writing. :)
2/17/2013 c2 43EmD23
I think you should just go with the flow.
Though personally, I'd love to see Hana's first meeting with a talking orange dinosaur lol
43EmD23I think you should just go with the flow.
Though personally, I'd love to see Hana's first meeting with a talking orange dinosaur lol
2/14/2013 c2 Koumi-Loc
Taichi can act like a Kid I'm glad Kou and the boys got him bacc! Koumi out Happy V-Day Kuz nice read I had fun reading it kuz of Toy Guns..
Taichi can act like a Kid I'm glad Kou and the boys got him bacc! Koumi out Happy V-Day Kuz nice read I had fun reading it kuz of Toy Guns..
2/14/2013 c2 20A Hidden Path
Is it odd that my favorite part of this is Tai shooting Koushiro with a nerf gun? I don't know why, but I love that Tai, for some reason, singles Izzy out for a while. I can see him doing that, too! I think I imagine Izzy with less patience... I personally would write him snapping at about shot number 5 or 6. We need to see these guys play laser tag-Wait, wait, waaaait. College kids do that! Haha, yeah, so that will be happening over at Four Years, so... Thanks XD
I can't believe how much Hana stresses over Vday...! Silly little person. I got a kick out of what she says when she finds the wasabi XD I also very much like that she and Tai crowd each other at the water fountain, and neither of them can get any water... At least, not where they need it XD I feel like that portrays the two of them pretty well! (I mean that in a good way, obviously).
As for the next chapter, write what you want to write, my dear. I honestly can only take so much fluff before I start feeling a little nauseated, although I understand that some people prefer a steady diet of it. You know me; even when things are going well, there are shadows lingering. So, disturb the force all you want! XD
20A Hidden PathIs it odd that my favorite part of this is Tai shooting Koushiro with a nerf gun? I don't know why, but I love that Tai, for some reason, singles Izzy out for a while. I can see him doing that, too! I think I imagine Izzy with less patience... I personally would write him snapping at about shot number 5 or 6. We need to see these guys play laser tag-Wait, wait, waaaait. College kids do that! Haha, yeah, so that will be happening over at Four Years, so... Thanks XD
I can't believe how much Hana stresses over Vday...! Silly little person. I got a kick out of what she says when she finds the wasabi XD I also very much like that she and Tai crowd each other at the water fountain, and neither of them can get any water... At least, not where they need it XD I feel like that portrays the two of them pretty well! (I mean that in a good way, obviously).
As for the next chapter, write what you want to write, my dear. I honestly can only take so much fluff before I start feeling a little nauseated, although I understand that some people prefer a steady diet of it. You know me; even when things are going well, there are shadows lingering. So, disturb the force all you want! XD
2/1/2013 c1 43EmD23
I would like to see Davis the *snort* Lady Killer and how he woos a girl, now that he's over his crush on Kari.
As for the chapter itself, it was pretty sweet. I laughed at Tai's toothbrush estimate.
43EmD23I would like to see Davis the *snort* Lady Killer and how he woos a girl, now that he's over his crush on Kari.
As for the chapter itself, it was pretty sweet. I laughed at Tai's toothbrush estimate.
1/29/2013 c1 Koumi-Loc
I want to read a Sokeru/Koumi! Koumi/Sorato fans been here too long lol its time for a small change Koumi Out...
I want to read a Sokeru/Koumi! Koumi/Sorato fans been here too long lol its time for a small change Koumi Out...
1/29/2013 c1 20A Hidden Path
Do I come off as a jerk if I say that I think the quality of your writing has really improved, compared to half way through Center of Everything? Because I'm impressed!
First of all, I love how you captured a few things here... One of them is the incredible touchy-feelyness of new couples. I love how Tai is all over Hana in the airport, trying to decide how he should touch her, changing his mind and shifting from one option to another... Ah, new love.
Next? Your character descriptions. Love them. My favorite is how Hana describes her aunt. I was deeply amused by that character. The physical descriptions are done with care, as well, and I always appreciate that.
There's also a really great sense of place, probably the best I've ever seen in a fanfic.
I can personally say that I find the French distracting, only because I don't speak a lick of it and keep wondering what they're saying. Also, how are they talking to each other? Do they all speak English? Do Hana's friends speak Japanese?
One thing I will mention is that you mostly kept this segment in Tai's head, but towards the end, we kind of jumped into Hana's mind. That can be done by professional writers (Rowling does it in The Casual Vacancy), but most people recommend limiting perspective to one person per scene, to avoid distracting/confusing the readers. Just a thought. Different people have different opinions on the topic.
Loved it! Looking forward to more!
20A Hidden PathDo I come off as a jerk if I say that I think the quality of your writing has really improved, compared to half way through Center of Everything? Because I'm impressed!
First of all, I love how you captured a few things here... One of them is the incredible touchy-feelyness of new couples. I love how Tai is all over Hana in the airport, trying to decide how he should touch her, changing his mind and shifting from one option to another... Ah, new love.
Next? Your character descriptions. Love them. My favorite is how Hana describes her aunt. I was deeply amused by that character. The physical descriptions are done with care, as well, and I always appreciate that.
There's also a really great sense of place, probably the best I've ever seen in a fanfic.
I can personally say that I find the French distracting, only because I don't speak a lick of it and keep wondering what they're saying. Also, how are they talking to each other? Do they all speak English? Do Hana's friends speak Japanese?
One thing I will mention is that you mostly kept this segment in Tai's head, but towards the end, we kind of jumped into Hana's mind. That can be done by professional writers (Rowling does it in The Casual Vacancy), but most people recommend limiting perspective to one person per scene, to avoid distracting/confusing the readers. Just a thought. Different people have different opinions on the topic.
Loved it! Looking forward to more!
1/29/2013 c1 7Elite Beauty
Great chapter! This sequel is coming along nicely!
I really liked Hana's friends. Lucas is pretty funny and Celine and Nina are awesome as well. Enzo...well, I can sense some trouble brewing around that area for Hana and Tai. It's interesting to add Enzo in there as another boyfriend of Hana's. I like it though. It adds to the ups and downs of Tai and Hana's relationship.
It was also interesting to see Catherine added in to the mix. Is she the same Catherine Tai met? And will there be any drama between Tai, Enzo, Catherine, and Hana?
Anyway, great start! I really do love how you portray their relationship. For me, the French isn't annoying at all! Then again, I am taking French so yeah. I'm excited that I can actually understand the French that you put in here! :)
Oh and could there please be a Koumi chapter featuring the two of them comfortably in their relationship? I'd love to read a chapter like that and see them together like they've been dating for quite awhile already and they're really comfortable in their relationship with each other. Or you know something like that. You know I love Koumi! That's my request and I hope you choose it! Pretty please? Haha.
Wonderful start to the story! I can't wait for more. Please update soon. So excited for what you have next! :)
7Elite BeautyGreat chapter! This sequel is coming along nicely!
I really liked Hana's friends. Lucas is pretty funny and Celine and Nina are awesome as well. Enzo...well, I can sense some trouble brewing around that area for Hana and Tai. It's interesting to add Enzo in there as another boyfriend of Hana's. I like it though. It adds to the ups and downs of Tai and Hana's relationship.
It was also interesting to see Catherine added in to the mix. Is she the same Catherine Tai met? And will there be any drama between Tai, Enzo, Catherine, and Hana?
Anyway, great start! I really do love how you portray their relationship. For me, the French isn't annoying at all! Then again, I am taking French so yeah. I'm excited that I can actually understand the French that you put in here! :)
Oh and could there please be a Koumi chapter featuring the two of them comfortably in their relationship? I'd love to read a chapter like that and see them together like they've been dating for quite awhile already and they're really comfortable in their relationship with each other. Or you know something like that. You know I love Koumi! That's my request and I hope you choose it! Pretty please? Haha.
Wonderful start to the story! I can't wait for more. Please update soon. So excited for what you have next! :)