for Runaway Princess1/29/2015 c10 
1axel100
"But maybe...just maybe...Katara wanted to shrug off the thought, thinking it was ridiculous. Maybe we can get Azula to come onto our side. By showing her mercy, she might do the same to us, regardless of whether she returns to the Fire Nation or not. Katara did not want to get her hopes up. But letting Azula die was not an option. The bottom line was that she would never be able to live with letting someone lose their life, even if it was the terrible, terrible Azula."
This paragraph is an example of the biggest problem with this story. Prior to this, Katara comes very close to ending Azula and then the plot launches into a stream of consciousness description of her thoughts where Katara expresses 180 degrees of regret. This leaves the flow of the plot feeling horribly unbalanced. Telling us the characters thoughts is not an effective way to advance your plot. Its a shortcut that shortchanges your characters' development. Balance out Katara's expressions of rage at Azula with very visible actions and dialogue that express her regret.
1axel100"But maybe...just maybe...Katara wanted to shrug off the thought, thinking it was ridiculous. Maybe we can get Azula to come onto our side. By showing her mercy, she might do the same to us, regardless of whether she returns to the Fire Nation or not. Katara did not want to get her hopes up. But letting Azula die was not an option. The bottom line was that she would never be able to live with letting someone lose their life, even if it was the terrible, terrible Azula."
This paragraph is an example of the biggest problem with this story. Prior to this, Katara comes very close to ending Azula and then the plot launches into a stream of consciousness description of her thoughts where Katara expresses 180 degrees of regret. This leaves the flow of the plot feeling horribly unbalanced. Telling us the characters thoughts is not an effective way to advance your plot. Its a shortcut that shortchanges your characters' development. Balance out Katara's expressions of rage at Azula with very visible actions and dialogue that express her regret.
1/29/2015 c3 axel100
There is always a problem with stream of conciousness writing. Telling us what Azula is thinking is easy and all. Having us discern that through her speach and actions alone is the real challenge and certainly preferable. Why tell us that she is struggling internally with killing Zuko when you could just show us? Actions speak louder than words, and even louder than thought baloons. Sure its a challenge but your narrative is basically hand holding your readers through the plot.
There is always a problem with stream of conciousness writing. Telling us what Azula is thinking is easy and all. Having us discern that through her speach and actions alone is the real challenge and certainly preferable. Why tell us that she is struggling internally with killing Zuko when you could just show us? Actions speak louder than words, and even louder than thought baloons. Sure its a challenge but your narrative is basically hand holding your readers through the plot.
12/22/2014 c18 icepopR170
Please post more chapters I'm enjoying this soooo much!
Please post more chapters I'm enjoying this soooo much!
10/8/2014 c18 CinderDiamonf
Omg i thought this story was dead but you're still continuing it! Made my day! Can't wait for your next update
Omg i thought this story was dead but you're still continuing it! Made my day! Can't wait for your next update
8/19/2014 c18 Anonymous
Please update soon! This is incredible! I love it so far.
Please update soon! This is incredible! I love it so far.
7/6/2014 c10 The Ultimate Witch
It's a healer's duty to heal the wounded whether their Friend or Foe no matter what they did in the past it's an Oath basically as a doctor/healer unless your on a battlefield that would be pretty stupid.
It's a healer's duty to heal the wounded whether their Friend or Foe no matter what they did in the past it's an Oath basically as a doctor/healer unless your on a battlefield that would be pretty stupid.
7/6/2014 c7 The Ultimate Witch
Zuko's done worse the only thing she really did was kill aang and the hold it against her so much even though it was war and that's kinda what your supposed to do but yeah I get why their made but they make way to big a deal with it I mean in all fanfic's they call her a monster and murder because she killed when katara and sokka's dad killed people to the whole fleet did and so did earth nation soldiers so yeah they overreact a lot.
Zuko's done worse the only thing she really did was kill aang and the hold it against her so much even though it was war and that's kinda what your supposed to do but yeah I get why their made but they make way to big a deal with it I mean in all fanfic's they call her a monster and murder because she killed when katara and sokka's dad killed people to the whole fleet did and so did earth nation soldiers so yeah they overreact a lot.
5/20/2014 c18 15Siah1
Please please please update soon. It's Mai and Ty lee huh right god I love them. And ther relationship with azula. We'll update soon k
15Siah1Please please please update soon. It's Mai and Ty lee huh right god I love them. And ther relationship with azula. We'll update soon k
5/5/2014 c18 3bilingualkyuubi
Intresting so far. You do a pretty good job of trying to keep charecters the same, though in someways they are being so absolute about things they occasionally feel flat.
3bilingualkyuubiIntresting so far. You do a pretty good job of trying to keep charecters the same, though in someways they are being so absolute about things they occasionally feel flat.
4/26/2014 c18 2SumoTheGreat
WOOHOO! awesome, so realistic, I AM HOOKED! I went as far as to login just to be able to follow this story, so it must be good ;)
Update soon! and give azula a happy ending PLZ!
2SumoTheGreatWOOHOO! awesome, so realistic, I AM HOOKED! I went as far as to login just to be able to follow this story, so it must be good ;)
Update soon! and give azula a happy ending PLZ!
4/26/2014 c18 3Demonpie17
I think I know who it is :D but I won't spoil it for anyone ;)
Great chappie! You did well :)
-Demonpie17
3Demonpie17I think I know who it is :D but I won't spoil it for anyone ;)
Great chappie! You did well :)
-Demonpie17