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for Naruto: the chakra molder

10/25/2023 c53 10Wolfone10
Wait a minute, Naruto already completed the waterfall test... He said so back in chapter 39.. Asuma asked him how far he had made it with his wind affinity... JUST the wind affinity... He said he had completed the "leaf test and the water test to the point I can complete them on my first try"... So he's already cut the waterfall.. PLUS he got MORE training with his wind from Asuma there.. I think you've went about as far as you can take him with WIND.. Time to start upping the other two... Unless you plan on making him fly. (theoretically possible since they did it in the Sky village and in the beginning of the story you had Naruto forming WINGS with his bloodline... You just STOPPED that for some reason).. I don't think you can go any further with WIND and this chapter is actually quite a few steps BACKWARDS from where he already was!
10/24/2023 c46 Wolfone10
So danzo just committed OUTRIGHT treason, in FRONT OF A BUNCH OF WITNESSES?... And Tsunade still does NOTHING? Hmm.. Interesting, "plot armor" since it doesn't make sense. But whatever. Oh and Danzo ISN'T a member of the elder council... He was FIRED by Sarutobi after the Uchiha incident... It's on the wiki page even(why he wasn't executed is anyone's guess)... So many authors screw that up. And it was the ONLY "smart" thing Sarutobi probably ever did, in his entire life! (so sad, he had so FEW "smart ideas" and most authors deprive him of probably his CROWNING decision).
10/24/2023 c44 Wolfone10
Doesn't Naruto have his mother's sword? You kinda made a big deal out of him having that early in the story and that his eyes were SWIRLS now.. But nobody has even apparently NOTICED that (which is weird for people from other villages that have never seen him before right?), and his sword... This "great and powerful blade by the uzumakis for uzumakis"... Seems to have just... Vanished or something. Although considering Naruto barely uses his "chakra molding" bloodline which is the name of the STORY.. Maybe adding in a "magic sword" is too much. I think a lot of stories start out REALLY strong, but as it goes on, it's like... "wow, NOBODY is going to be a match for this character"... So they get nerfed into the floor.. Then later it's like "okay, now I made him too weak". Your maintaining MORE OR LESS.. Just I think for future authors reading reviews?... FEWER chapters... You can start seeing the divide all the way back the valley of the end. EX. "Tsunade couldn't create a posion that effected the Uzumaki cells"... Which you just said last chapter... However... In the valley it was "the poison on the blade" that nearly killed naruto and would have without help... Soooooo... See the problem? That was just one example from that scene... But the problem is endemic... The character has to keep rocking back and forth on a power level that has ALREADY been stated.
10/24/2023 c44 DarkHunter10
"So while technically you could get rid of them due to you being the leader. If you did so, they could and more than likely, would rally up a good portion of the village to cause a rebellion at worse or chaos at best.".. Well not really... Just KILL THEM... If they are all DEAD, it won't matter what they want. It's a very straight forward, easy to accomplish, fix. If you use the (equivalent group) ANBU or others that can't talk... Then just have THEM do the deed, and not say WHO killed the council... Just that they ARE dead... EASY... They aren't around so nobody is around to RALLY with and there is nobody who knows FOR SURE it was the leader... So... "nobody" got rid of them... They are just gone... Thus is the problems doing business in a ninja village.
10/24/2023 c36 DarkHunter10
Wait, so Ayame knows NOTHING about naruto except he was a ramen addict? Didn't they already DO this before he left? You had a whole chapter that Naruto wanted to know more about her, other then she worked at a ramen stand.. So they talked ALL DAY... Also how could much have changed with him? He was supposedly training for three years... That doesn't leave a lot of time for "character growth" or change... HE'S been basically "on pause" for three years... Even if power wise, he hasn't..Of course the fact he couldn't really beat even kakashi doesn't say good things about the trip at all. Which with clones I don't understand... He should have basically CENTURIES of training under his belt at this point.

And I agree with not giving sakura to the uchiha.. He is PROBABLY the worst written character in all of anime IMO. The beginning with him makes basically NO SENSE at all, then the middle is basically just "the uchiha show", then the ending is more of the middle except the author remembered "OH YEAH naruto needs to be here too" so the uchiha somehow matches an uzumaki with a tailed beast in chakra amounts but has loads more powers AND does a heel-face turn so he can survive the ending of the show (regardless of the fact, he had committed WAR CRIMES and would have been put to death, no matter how he "felt" at the end)
10/23/2023 c27 DarkHunter10
Calling Jiraiya a "spymaster" is being VERY generous... I think it's comical how many authors do the whole "I need to maintain my spy network". shtick when he: failed to notice Orochimaru set up a ninja village, failed to find out WHERE the village even IS, failed to know Orochimaru killed the kazekage, failed to notice TWO villages' armies were mobilizing to attack the Leaf, failed to know the members of the akutski (despite Itachi being an informant), failing to know that it's Nageto (a former apprentice OF HIS) that is "leading" the akutski, failed to know when the akutski were coming after Naruto, failed to know Orochimaru was sending a team BACK into the leaf to get the uchiha, failed to know that Orochi would appear, in order to cut into naruto (in this one)... I mean all in all, he really just needs to SCRAP the whole "spy network" thing, because it's OBVIOUSLY not very good. Plus it's KINDA a lame excuse considering he dies pointlessly later and NOBODY even knew who was IN the spy network, so it apparently just falls to pieces ANYWAY. .. So the ENTIRE "excuse" for not being around Naruto for 13 YEARS and his excuse for taking Naruto away from HIS pretty good life for 3 years is shown as basically just a pile of horse-crap.
10/23/2023 c24 Wolfone10
When has naruto actually had time to "train"? He got home from that REALLY LOOOONG trip to get the hokage, AS SOON as he did that, he spent a day with his girls, then HAD to spend the day with konohamaru.. Then the NEXT day you had him spend it in jail, THEN 20 minutes after he gets out, you had shika beating on his door again. Seriously, I'm shocked that with the amount of people constantly beating on his door, that the village doesn't fully COLLAPSE when he leaves for 3 years. *which by the way.. Cannot be good with all the relationships he's now in*... .So, not too sure it's a good idea for THIS particular story. I mean it was only a plot device for canon anyway (a rather sloppy one too, considering naruto really didn't GAIN anything from it)
10/23/2023 c21 Wolfone10
I wouldn't have punished him AT ALL... It's just like any other POWERFUL ninja... Get in their way and die... Simple concept... I would have sent the message to the village that THIS NOW APPLIES TO HIM AND HIS GIRLS AS WELL! Learn the message... Or fill the graveyard... Your choice.

That being said, why didn't Hinata OR Haku just kill the idiot? Haku was a missing nin for most of her life... She SHOULD be able to handle herself... and Hinata? She was with her sister for crying out loud, so shouldn't she have reacted a BIT quicker and deadlier? They are NINJA (deadly, super powered assassins) not pathetic ass little girls! Hinata and Hanabi are both VERY trained IN HAND-TO-HAND combat too, from birth! Not to sure how naruto can think that his girls would dislike him... Ninja ARE BY DEFINITION "killers"... Not normal civilians, not "goodie-two-shoes".. But hired mercenaries that KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY! Seems like a LOT of authors forget that, THAT is the primary source of income for ALL "ninja". Haku ran around for years with a guy that had the "Decapitating Carving Knife"... Somehow, I don't think it was called that because it was a "show piece", or because it was designed to "wound".

Finally there is the shit-stain of an uchiha.. He does know that Madara was NOT really "respected" even is own time right? He was feared of course... But not REALLY respected... He was just a psychotic little whining baby that even his own clan turned their collective backs on. ALL uchiha are, are really just WHINY little narcissists. *not the best characters to have in a story*. So naruto has been back for a TOTAL of like 20 minutes and somehow Shika knew to come to his door? Wouldn't he think naruto was still in the prison? All the anbu are "busy"? No they are not, Naruto KNOWS they aren't.. He was just around a bunch of them, doing nothing! Kinda shot yourself in the foot there (narratively) Because there really isn't a reason the ANBU shouldn't be going after the uchiha in this one. There was also a bit of a problem with sending all these "clan heirs" after the little runt... Because the leader wouldn't want any of THEM hurt either!
10/23/2023 c19 Wolfone10
ACTUALLY Hiashi has NEVER had a problem with naruto... And IS IN FACT a "doting grandfather" to Naruto and Hinata's kids... It was actually refreshing... But apparently your going the "hyuuga hate naruto" route huh? Hasn't that been done a little TOO MUCH? Especially considering it's ALL B.S. according to canon?
10/20/2023 c14 DarkHunter10
Does he even know what his mother's sword DOES yet? He knew it was "special" thanks to ten ten nearly stealing it from him, but you never had him try anything with it, or find out anything about it.. Or...ANYTHING. (which WOULD have been kinda cool)

"No way to save sarutobi"? You mean other then the idiot anbu figuring out they could just break through the floor of where they were fighting and thus be INSIDE the barrier?.. It was on top of a BUILDING... Meaning, the floor is just the ceiling of that building that could easily be entered and punched through.. You can CLEARLY see that the "barrier" only covers the roof in a circle around the very top. (not the floor either). It's really SAD how many authors and fans DON'T make that very easy to see connection. Orochimaru makes about 4 ABSOLUTELY BRAIN DEAD decisions in the konoha crush(I'm talking bad enough that the plot has to do GYMNASTICS to keep them from blowing the whole thing.. Making everyone have the basic I.Q. of a pencil).. Allowing the fight to happen on top of a building is just one of them.
10/18/2023 c13 DarkHunter10
Okay, I don't get a few things, how does naruto have tons of money all of a sudden? How is he able to shop now? Isn't he still over charged? When did the "change" happen? Because it didn't happen IN STORY... Loads of PRETTY important stuff changed fundimentally in the village and it's just "glossed over" so he can buy "pretty baubles" for his girls.. The changes are SO MUCH more interesting then him just "shopping", which I could care less about then nothing. How and WHY would he even know to buy things FOR the girls? Wouldn't he assume they had their OWN money and just wanted to spend it while he was along? Ino is a clan heiress for crying out loud, so is Hinata... (naruto is a clan heir now too but when has that had time to set in?... He doesn't even know if he has an inheritance yet.. As stated THIS chapter).
10/16/2023 c11 DarkHunter10
Now Kurenai is in BITCH mode huh? How about naruto NOT BEING AFRAID of her? She's arguably the WEAKEST jounin... and the kyuubi can pull him INSTANTLY out of ANY genjutsu that's used.. So he's really got NOTHING to be scared of anyway.
10/13/2023 c5 Guest
Why is EVERY girl in your story a COMPLETE BITCH that breaks laws but gets in ABSOLUTELY no trouble? First Haku not defending ANY of naruto's secrets OR his house... Then the three girls breaking INTO said house, twice... Plus riffiling through his things to find out secrets that the higher ups DON'T want them to know... THEN tenten TRYING TO STEAL FROM HIM, while telling him in the SAME BREATH nobody but family can use the damn sword! WTF dude... UPON MEETING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME! Personally, I'd wash my hands of ALL of them and pick some girls from OTHER VILLAGES!
10/13/2023 c9 DarkHunter10
Scary? No not really, most of the time in these stories, Naruto TALKS a big game but he's all bark, no bite... He threatens this and that.. But 99.9% of the time authors NEVER have him follow through with anything... He's a "yappy dog" not really that threatening really. ESPECIALLY with negji... It's not a scary tone when EVERYBODY already knows he's NOT really going to DO anything like he said... Even though HE SHOULD follow through here... He just NEVER does.. So he won't here either.
10/9/2023 c5 nucci95
this story is hard to read man...why is naruto such a pushover?
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