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for Naruto: the chakra molder

4/5 c89 BJJF691
What's with the flinch when she said that wasn't her first time? And I hope her break up with the first boyfriend made Ayame not sleep other boyfriends because odd the bad break up, because I don't see the father not waving an kitchen knife around as a warning!
4/3 c89 Narutofan123
Amazing i honestly can't wait for the next one
4/3 c1 Neoacoya1
The writing style is horrible as is the dialogue. Does the author really believe people speak this way?
The word choice and grammar is actually headache inducing.
I recommend giving this story a pass until the author gets someone to clean this mess up.

(I took a peak at later chapters and it doesn't get better.)
(I can't speak for the plot as I couldn't read far enough to have a meaningful opinion.)
4/3 c89 WhateverPlus
I liked this chapter.
4/3 c89 4Monster King
Awesome
3/29 c88 Guest
When you update your DBZ story can you keep the pairing Gohan x Bri and Mirai x Melisa?
3/28 c88 Guest
When you update your DBZ FanFiction can you keep the pairing Gohan x Bri and Melisa x Mirai
3/26 c5 Guest
"Wait he is sleeping I should take this chance to finally kiss him. I mean even if he doesn't like me back I can just hopefully take his first kiss and give him mine without anyone ever knowing it is perfect." Hinata though"
"Hmm, actually maybe Naruto wouldn't notice if I 'borrow' a few pieces of clothing and such to remember this day by. I just need to make sure that it smells like him…maybe I am being a bit to fan girlish doing this though… Actually, no that doesn't matter seeing as Naruto liked that pink banshee that was one of Sasuke's biggest fan girls so he must like girls like that. Though I can't really do it in public, I mean not only would the clan kill me for it but it would just be too embarrassing for me to actually do." Hinata thought deciding that Naruto had to like girls that were at least partially stalkerish to have a 'crush' on a fangirl."
You made Hinata an obsessive perverted stalker. Like that's wrong on so many levels just because she's a girl doesn't make it cute. If it was a guy would that make it right? No. So like why?
3/26 c4 Guest
Positives: I like how the story is going and the twist is has and on how it doesn't follow exact canon for except for necessary storytelling.
Negatives: I just don't the characterizations of the characters. Like I don't like how nosy Sakura and Ino are on finding out Naruto's secret. Like everyone has secrets let him have his. And you made Hinata way too much of a stalker like "Why is he sitting down shouldn't he be taking of his wet briefs as well?" Hinata asked herself wanting to see him naked. " Made me cringe. And as usual in most fanfics Sasuke is a jerk who thinks the Uchiha are the only elite, only cares about himself. I don't wanna be the " that's not how canon goes type of person" but I just don't like the characters are in here.
3/25 c1 Guest
REVIEW MY STORY!

www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana

REVIEW MY STORY!

www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana

REVIEW MY STORY!

www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana

REVIEW MY STORY!

www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana

\\\
3/22 c88 Guest
When you do update your DBZ story can you keep the pairing Gohan x Bri Mirai x Melisa
3/17 c88 Guest
When you do update your DBZ story can you keep the pairing Gohan x Bri and Melisa x Mirai that would be better
3/13 c88 Guest
When you update your DBZ story can you leave the pair Gohan x Bri and Mirai d Melisa
3/6 c17 Guest
Noticed your notice about bo staffs... Technically a bo staff has a flex in it which is known as a bo (example a long bow used to be a flexible staff with a string attached) if it is a hard inflexible staff then it is just a staff. Some cultures started using the staff after the monks made them famous example Korea and Japan started using them years after. However they understood pounds per square inch and it's importance in combat so they limited the ends of the staffs size. By doing this they lost the flexibility of the staff yet never stopped calling it a Bo even though it was no longer one. As a fellow Martial Artists I figured you would like the history on it
3/7 c2 HyuunaRyuuna
please no narusaku pair
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