for The Swarm's Host2/19/2013 c1 Kane
First, DON'T Stop writing on this story it would be far to great a loss, for it's potential is just THAT immense...
As for the the chapter itself, well there were some plips here and there slightly made me wonder about their such as a instance were you wrote "It" in reference to the Larvae when instead it should have been It's (though I am not 100% sure about that) and some other instances were you used the wrong tenses here and there but it's nothing a beta reader shouldn't be able to help you with...
As for where you want to go with this well, will Eragon eventually join the Swarm as well?
...Bye...
First, DON'T Stop writing on this story it would be far to great a loss, for it's potential is just THAT immense...
As for the the chapter itself, well there were some plips here and there slightly made me wonder about their such as a instance were you wrote "It" in reference to the Larvae when instead it should have been It's (though I am not 100% sure about that) and some other instances were you used the wrong tenses here and there but it's nothing a beta reader shouldn't be able to help you with...
As for where you want to go with this well, will Eragon eventually join the Swarm as well?
...Bye...
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