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8/16/2020 c7 NataS666
Daaaaaamn.
Awesome story!
Awesome progress.
Awesome interactions.
Awesome character development.
Just plain Awesomeness lol

I wish you continue this sometime.
Thank you for your hard work!
5/2/2019 c7 bgc341
Please update I need more
1/13/2018 c7 3Fire Dragon Slayer Zim
PLEASE CONTINUE! DONT LEAVE IT HERE!
2/6/2014 c7 2LonelyHollow117
I have quite a lot to say about this story so let's begin.

First off I would like to say that your writing overall is very good and I think you have a talent for writing. Not many people can write like you so keep up the good work!

Character wise I think you did a amazing job with their personalities and such. They are very in-character and behave just like I would imagine them to. For Tsukune I think you got him perfect along with Moka, both inner and outer. He has a passion for Moka that I think is rarely displayed well, but you nailed it. As for Moka, inner has a tendency to get angry but also remain calm and collected in dire times. For the emotions she rarely displays such as adoration, love, kindness, you know all the girly emotions Omote feels, you did very well also. Once again awesome job with the characters.

I can tell you take your time and carefully plan and write things out. Everything flows very nicely together and makes it easy to read. You keep me interested throughout the whole story and there was never a boring part or something I thought dragged on too long. I especially loved the moments between Tsukune and Moka, but I think that's true partly because I am a hopeless romantic.

Well that's all for now and I really hope that you will continue this story because it is really amazing. Until next time!
1/10/2014 c7 Guest
Good story update soon!
11/28/2013 c1 Ladalada haha
Good story. Plz update soon :)
10/6/2013 c1 Guest
This Is really good. I hope there will be an update soon. Good luck and happy writing :)
8/10/2013 c7 Forever Rahhel
I quite like this story. Love the development between Tsukune and both Mokas. It's kind of a pity that they keep their relationship hidden for so long. I guess it's understandable, since you need to create some sort of tension.

To be honest it kind of raised a red flag for me when you mentioned Moka's father as he is closely related to the anime and less with the manga and I despise the anime with a passion. Guess I am glad I kept reading.

Hope to see more soon. Keep it up!
6/7/2013 c7 Lazyreviewer
Hello! This story so far is really good. The interaction between the characters is well done and it has the right amount of humor so it doesn't come off as corny. "Ura likes Tsukune." Had me rolling. The inclusion of their friends was done very well. It was very in character from intruding in training to offering up Yukari as a sacrifice (snicker snicker)
4/13/2013 c7 fullhans1
Very nice story. And no, chapter 3 wasn't too long for my taste.
4/4/2013 c7 FM Celt
14,000 words? Holy crap! And here I was thinking I was improving by managing to writing 6000 words in one chapter...

I finally got around to reading this from start to finish. You're doing a great job of exploring a romantic relationship between Moka and Tsukune, and the effects that such a relationship has on Ura-chan. I loved Inner Moka's reaction to Tsukune kissing Outer Moka, it was exactly what I would expect if Tsukune actually did that. This romantic development between Tsukune and both Moka's is very enjoyable to read about. I even joined Outer Moka in humming "Ura likes Tsukune" :)

I'm not much of a critic and this is waaay better than anything I have written, so I don't have many complaints. The only thing I would nitpick about was how the other girls did not appear much for the first half of the story, but this is a TsukunexMoka story so that's to be expected. My co-writer has a few points to make on the writing but I'll put them in a PM instead of listing them in this review.

Love this so far, please continue!

- FMC
3/31/2013 c7 8AnimeRulez08
Ummm.. let's see... Ahem. I HATE YOU! not!

Perfect Ura Moka. I mean seriously, you've portrayed her really well! You've given her justice million times better than the insulting murder of her character in RVCapu2. Couldn't imagine her anything less. If I were to rate your handling of characters, with 1 being lowest and 10 highest, I'll give you 11! Bwahaha! *coughmoreurachancough*

I also love how you've build up the relationships and story so far. Great work is an understatement. :D

Keep up the good healthy imagination. :D I'll be looking forward for more.
3/21/2013 c7 11Gamera68
Pretty good.

it's about time they admitted their...you know...towards one another.

Awaiting patiently the next chapter.
3/21/2013 c6 Gamera68
Not too bad. I won't lynch you.

This time.

Hmmm...Moka in a bikini.

Yes, that will suffice for compensation.
3/21/2013 c5 Gamera68
That was some confession Tsukune blurted out during their game.

That ought to shut the other girls up.

...for a while, anyway.

_

LOL
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