for Runaways9/20/2018 c1 ThePurpleOtter
being honest, I think it's brilliant! Nice work Ravengrad!
-The_Purple_Otter
being honest, I think it's brilliant! Nice work Ravengrad!
-The_Purple_Otter
8/30/2018 c7 MartinDeShade
I like the story, but I wonder if bullets could be negated. We are talking about a group that can change gravity at will. How hard would it be to reverse the kinetic energy of a bullet so it travels exactly backwards and kills the shooter. Then have something that is enchanted as a necklace that does that without their input. Its not like you are taking energy away you are just reversing the kinetic energy of anything with a lot of kinetic energy.
I like the story, but I wonder if bullets could be negated. We are talking about a group that can change gravity at will. How hard would it be to reverse the kinetic energy of a bullet so it travels exactly backwards and kills the shooter. Then have something that is enchanted as a necklace that does that without their input. Its not like you are taking energy away you are just reversing the kinetic energy of anything with a lot of kinetic energy.
8/11/2018 c7 torlan2003
Great story, very inventive I enjoyed the difference between the Magical response and the non magical response. Thank you for writing.
Great story, very inventive I enjoyed the difference between the Magical response and the non magical response. Thank you for writing.
7/24/2018 c3 
12The Ghostly Minion
I have to mention a point that bothers me. It is also in my profile. I have a problem when a 'light' person in canon calls Hermione the 'M' word. As here, it's mainly various Weasleys, though a few others do too.
AFAIK, the events of the first five years here follow canon. That means Ginny owes Harry a life debt and Arthur also owes his life to Harry's warning. The upshot is I'm stating my displeasure at this gratuitous swipe at Hermione. IMMHO, citing OOC doesn't grant a license. BTW, I don't think she's all goodness and sweet and that she IS a bitch at times. Calling her that doesn't bother me.
I like the rest of the chapter though. Things are shaking out. Like Longbottom and Luna, really like the request for dueling instruction too.
Other things look good for the yacht. Personalities will emerge and relationships.
TGM
12The Ghostly MinionI have to mention a point that bothers me. It is also in my profile. I have a problem when a 'light' person in canon calls Hermione the 'M' word. As here, it's mainly various Weasleys, though a few others do too.
AFAIK, the events of the first five years here follow canon. That means Ginny owes Harry a life debt and Arthur also owes his life to Harry's warning. The upshot is I'm stating my displeasure at this gratuitous swipe at Hermione. IMMHO, citing OOC doesn't grant a license. BTW, I don't think she's all goodness and sweet and that she IS a bitch at times. Calling her that doesn't bother me.
I like the rest of the chapter though. Things are shaking out. Like Longbottom and Luna, really like the request for dueling instruction too.
Other things look good for the yacht. Personalities will emerge and relationships.
TGM
7/24/2018 c1 The Ghostly Minion
This is a good start. I'll not belabor the main continuity point, beyond pointing that you should have caught the point that you'd made the twins young than Harry!
As for the rest of the will reading, all good, saving that Harry should know who Umbridge is. We'll wait on finding out what strings are attached to Draco by being 'Lord Black'.
Admittedly, summoning Dobby seems contrived but I wonder if Dobby already saw himself as his elf and just 'helped' him out a bit! In the end, Harry's life got a lot better, I can live with that.
Many reviewers dump on Hermione's parents. I disagree. Remember that they've never seen her do magic. For them to be horrified at the whole story hardly makes them bad in their actions, rather the reverse. Maybe points off for waiting so long before telling her, but I tend to agree that the less time they give her the less scope there is of her doing something to harm herself.
Bad/evil Dumbledore is a trope, but why not?
TGM
This is a good start. I'll not belabor the main continuity point, beyond pointing that you should have caught the point that you'd made the twins young than Harry!
As for the rest of the will reading, all good, saving that Harry should know who Umbridge is. We'll wait on finding out what strings are attached to Draco by being 'Lord Black'.
Admittedly, summoning Dobby seems contrived but I wonder if Dobby already saw himself as his elf and just 'helped' him out a bit! In the end, Harry's life got a lot better, I can live with that.
Many reviewers dump on Hermione's parents. I disagree. Remember that they've never seen her do magic. For them to be horrified at the whole story hardly makes them bad in their actions, rather the reverse. Maybe points off for waiting so long before telling her, but I tend to agree that the less time they give her the less scope there is of her doing something to harm herself.
Bad/evil Dumbledore is a trope, but why not?
TGM
6/22/2018 c7 Arjayess
Second time reading, enjoyed it. WAS going to raise two points, 1) that Massey doesn't have a full campus in Wellington, 2) Commonwealth countries don't have embassies in other Commonwealth countries, just 'High Commissions'. However, I did a Google search and see a marked MU campus in sight of Adelaide Road! times have changed since I lived there, they only had a small, secondary - or maybe 'tertiary' campus when I left! At least the second point is still valid!
Second time reading, enjoyed it. WAS going to raise two points, 1) that Massey doesn't have a full campus in Wellington, 2) Commonwealth countries don't have embassies in other Commonwealth countries, just 'High Commissions'. However, I did a Google search and see a marked MU campus in sight of Adelaide Road! times have changed since I lived there, they only had a small, secondary - or maybe 'tertiary' campus when I left! At least the second point is still valid!
3/9/2018 c7 Nea
It's Amelia Bones, not Amanda. I also don't believe Hermione would have gone from being disgusted by her shallow, self-absorbed and dictatorial parents with one letter and a five minute meeting to the point of being willing to move in nearby when ready to settle down to raise children. It's a juvenile fallacy.
You have a good basic plot but you didn't flesh it out or proof what you were writing, and very clearly didn't spend much time on the emotional impact of any of it. That said, you DO have a good basic plot, which is better than many authors here. With a bit more effort I think you could produce something of quality.
It's Amelia Bones, not Amanda. I also don't believe Hermione would have gone from being disgusted by her shallow, self-absorbed and dictatorial parents with one letter and a five minute meeting to the point of being willing to move in nearby when ready to settle down to raise children. It's a juvenile fallacy.
You have a good basic plot but you didn't flesh it out or proof what you were writing, and very clearly didn't spend much time on the emotional impact of any of it. That said, you DO have a good basic plot, which is better than many authors here. With a bit more effort I think you could produce something of quality.
2/14/2018 c7 ClaireR89
Really enjoyed the story. You combined the muggle and wizard world really well!
Really enjoyed the story. You combined the muggle and wizard world really well!
1/18/2018 c5 Guest
Her name is Amelia Bones not Amanda Bones ... Good story so far...
Her name is Amelia Bones not Amanda Bones ... Good story so far...
11/26/2017 c1 OptimalWit
I'm finding it really difficult to get through the first chapter. Lots of grammatical mistakes, poor use of punctuation, and horrendous dialogue. It reads like you're allergic to commas and periods, considering how many run-on sentences are present.
Also, Harry just happened to accidentally mumble "Dobby" under his breath? How does that even happen? Seems very contrived and is not a good indicator for the quality of your story telling ability. I'll try to get past it, but poor quality writing is the number one reason why I drop stories with an interesting premise.
I'm finding it really difficult to get through the first chapter. Lots of grammatical mistakes, poor use of punctuation, and horrendous dialogue. It reads like you're allergic to commas and periods, considering how many run-on sentences are present.
Also, Harry just happened to accidentally mumble "Dobby" under his breath? How does that even happen? Seems very contrived and is not a good indicator for the quality of your story telling ability. I'll try to get past it, but poor quality writing is the number one reason why I drop stories with an interesting premise.
10/21/2017 c3 160slytherinsal
I take it in the wizarding world the marriage at Gretna thing wasn't repealed the way it was in the muggle world, but why did the muggle Old Bill take it so calmly?
160slytherinsalI take it in the wizarding world the marriage at Gretna thing wasn't repealed the way it was in the muggle world, but why did the muggle Old Bill take it so calmly?