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for Inazuma Eleven rewritten: Season One

2/24/2013 c1 3Star Magic Blooms
Hi, Ayasumi-san! That was a pretty good start for a remake thing to do. Tell you honestly, I am not perfect but I assure you, I will try to help you with all I can when it comes to opinions. For one, maybe you could use line breaks to show transition. That will also help. And during a direct conversation, like this one for example:

''Guess so.'' The boy with pink hair replied to her.

"Guess so." should not have a period, rather a comma, like so.

''Guess so,'' The boy with pink hair replied to her.

But aside from that, I guess you're getting better. I'll see this story progress in time. PM me if you want to say anything.

P.S. Let's be friends! I'm pretty new here on so I guess I'm still a bit of a loner.
2/23/2013 c1 5FluffyLavandelClouds
So long... And so awesome
My favorite oc's at the moment are, I think Yuri and Minorin, I really like their personallities (And their names)

I like to join an oc, but I won't whine to much about that

I can't wait for you next update.
2/23/2013 c1 1Yan Youngie
Yosh i will pm you my oc
2/22/2013 c1 1SapphireSpade
Hai hai! Can my OC join? I'll PM you later! Can u reserve Kazemaru please?

I hope you update soon!
2/22/2013 c1 7Starheartgalaxy
Well done its very good ! And long xD hihihi its been a while since I have read anything from you so im happy you have time to write again ! :D x
2/22/2013 c1 Gsjjrurhsjfjdjdjf
This is FANTASTIC... I told you that my gosh...
Now I don't know should I review or nope?
But I think you already know my reavtion from that huuuuuuge...
PM I sent for you.. anyways... This story is number one be sure...
The best... in world of IE and might some top plafe for entire anime...
Now gosh.. it's soo hard to tell what I'm feeling... for sure u have very talent my dear... so don't waste it...
I love it soooo much... if I won't PM a OC in 24h then I gave up at the idea...
Wish u good luck with this wonderful idea see ya.
2/22/2013 c1 6The Liker
Kawaii! Another new story, eh? :))
I wish you good luck, then, for your story! :)
I'll be expecting and update soon! :))
(Wow, that's a lot of smiley faces...)
2/22/2013 c1 3PrimeLegend
I like where this is going. ;D
Season 1,You got yourself into a large project to work on. WOW
I will submit an oc for a team,save me a spot plz!
2/22/2013 c1 25SHSL Kariya Masaki
MAAAMEEERAAAAA, hey there! Been a while since I reviewed your fics, haha c:

Long and interesting chapter we got here! XD Well, I'll send you my OC later :33

Update soooooon! :3
2/22/2013 c1 Alice'Rabbit'-chan
Kawaii I like your idea! a rewritten story! *W* I might submit an OC to...So please reserve a spot for me!
2/22/2013 c1 9xXRoyal Mai and Miki HimeXx
Mai: long time no see sorry for not reviewing lately its cause school has been a pain in the ...head *bad pokerface* but yeah...it's like my dream is coming true! XD cause you see I had this dream where someone would upload a fix where they would rewrite the series but this time there would be a girls team and dun dun duuuuuuuuh! I receive this notification X3. I enjoyed this chap a lot! I really would like to see more soon! If its okay I would like to send in two Ocs. Well until then Ganbatte ne! JA NE! Sorry for the bad review but you see I'm writing this and trying to finish some pre-calculus homework...ugh so much homework! TTwTT not enough time for fanfiction...Q.Q
2/22/2013 c1 20Kusanagi Laevateinn
Hey hey hey, this is interesting, Mamera! I see no huge mistakes anywhere, and you're good to go! Just a thing, though:

''You're dream to become the strongest girls soccer team on the world!'' Tsukiko went on.
("Your dream to become the strongest female soccer player on the world!" or "Your dream to create the strongest girls' soccer team on the world!")

That's all I guess! And should the OC only be the captain of the opposing team, or could it take another role? Thanks to bother reading, though!
2/22/2013 c1 ShadowCyclone
Wow... Long chapter. Its really interesting so far. I'd like to see how the girls' team match turns out. :D
2/22/2013 c1 potatorabbit
This is a great plot... I'm just worried that I will have to rewatch all of the episodes now... Anyways, continue! I'm looking forward to it!
2/22/2013 c1 32Princess Of Flames
Ohayo Mamera chan! long time no talk
That was Longggggggg
I like your idea, might give an OC too
gotta go
school
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