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for Skating On Thin Ice

1/13/2014 c12 4Ninja girlfriend
...WOW... thats was... WOW!
1/12/2014 c11 Ninja girlfriend
jason spisak?! wow!
1/3/2014 c12 1Queen Sound
A beautiful ending
1/2/2014 c12 Rattling Bones
This could have been a very amazing sports AU Young Justice fanfic but as it is I think it's a bit lacking. All of the potential that I at first associated with this story was never explored and it was rather disappointing. I really like the premise of this story, I like that it's a hockey team and that Artemis is the first girl to be on the team and that she' s potentially facing animosity from the all male players. I like that both her and Wally have a rough home life with their fathers and that hockey is the connection they have. With that being said I feel like you skimmed over just about everything incredible this fic could have been. There's really no depth and despite already having a love for the YJ characters I felt nothing for them as you breezed from event to event. You skimmed over their first game together with Artemis on the team and that should have probably been a largely defining moment for the team. I don't really feel the character development that SHOULD be going on here. Wally and Artemis just kind of blandly clicked, Artemis just kind of randomly wedged herself in the group without much problem and Roy was just randomly back with a girlfriend and a baby.

There is an incredible amount of potential here if you ever decided to delve deeper into the relationships and character developments that you've set up. You've also done a decent job and it's a sweet story but as it is it feels incredibly lacking and a tad bit disappointing to me. Like I expected something so much more and instead it fell short. I hope one day you decide to revisit your earlier chapters and maybe develop the story a bit more. If that ever happens I will definitely be back to read more. G'luck and keep practicing.
1/2/2014 c12 LTRB
Can't wait for the next update,
What happened to Wally's real dad ?
12/31/2013 c12 Guest
Oh biscuits update soon plzzzzzzz
12/31/2013 c12 Emotional wreck
Woah
12/31/2013 c12 12Taiski
Waiting for the inedible moment... Wally's line was funny...
12/31/2013 c12 4Irenerb
Love the spitfire B)
What a shocking end there
12/31/2013 c12 2ColorfulandBlack
One word to describle this: ASDFGHJKL!
12/24/2013 c11 ColorfulandBlack
Hey I just want to say that fic is pretty amazing and a prof of it is that its 1 a.m on my clock and I should be sleeping but I needed to read all chapter which has been updated so far cause its obviously awesome. I love the tittle by the way. Really brilliant idea with this AU. And one question out of subject are you gonna miss 11th? I dont know when you'll watch ,,Time of the Doctor" but Ill watch it on 29th and I know Im gonna cry for sure and miss Matt badly.
12/24/2013 c11 1Queen Sound
Brilliant that you updated :D
Sad face that this might finish
Happy face that you read PJ
12/23/2013 c11 12Taiski
Oh, that family is crazy.
12/23/2013 c11 Night Valdez
Great chapter! Cool, he tweeted you twice!?
12/23/2013 c11 3Raiyone Narukami
Yay! new Chalant Chapter. I had no idea you were a Doctor Who fan though. yeah I'm sad that Matt Smith is leaving. but to paraphrase the immortal words of the 10th Doctor, David Tennant: "I don't want him to go." it was Matt Smith who got me hooked on the series.
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