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7/16/2014 c4 62Rochelle Templer
Well there are some interesting ideas here and I think it would have been good as a more-drawn out story seeing as the "Unbound" Doctor Who stories can be a fascinating side trip. Plus, I'm up for stories that put some new shades on Rory's character.

The main problem I had was that it seemed as if things were jumping a little too fast from scene to scene so it was sometimes a bit difficult to keep track of what was going on and how it all connected to each other. Again, interesting ideas that would be well-served to be fleshed out some more.
4/25/2013 c3 24Brownbug
Sorry to be late reviewing. Another interesting chapter. I like the inclusion of all the Doctors, and of course, River. And hooray for the Jelly Baby reference! Keep writing!
4/13/2013 c3 28Son of Whitebeard
comment and rate this chapter
4/9/2013 c1 157Qoheleth
Dear Son of Whitebeard:

Well, the plot concept is fine (as far as I can tell, though, as I say, I'm not much up on contemporary-Who plot situations, variant or otherwise). I think, though, that it's missing something - verisimilitude, perhaps. The scenes don't seem to transition very smoothly from one to the next (a little more of an introduction for Rory would be nice, as would a less abrupt jump to the first Brigadier scene), and the characterization leaves a great deal to be desired. Also, a little more attention to grammar would be nice (for instance, there are at least five sentences in your last paragraph, but only one period), and I don't think that every line your characters speak needs to be "moaned", "shouted", "exclaimed", etc. "Said" is a perfectly legitimate word.

Sincerely,
Qoheleth
4/8/2013 c2 Elionu
This is good! confusing, but good.
4/8/2013 c2 3MiniCissa
I'm intrigued! The man with longevity, I'm assuming Captain Jack? Its nice to see Rory written into a fic, I feel he can be quite underused, even by myself! Love to read more, write on my friend!
4/6/2013 c2 Torchwood Cardiff
Very interesting with Rory there...:-)
4/6/2013 c1 Torchwood Cardiff
Great start. This will be interesting.
4/5/2013 c1 23SquirrelWho
Nice! I really enjoyed reading this. Your ideas are very original! :)
4/4/2013 c2 24Brownbug
Is the man with longevity Jack? If so, it will be interesting to see how he met Rory. Good to see Strax, he is an excellent character. Keep writing :)
4/2/2013 c2 28Son of Whitebeard
Comment on the latest chapter
4/1/2013 c1 dr100
Good stuff, Son of Whitebeard! I thoroughly enjoyed that. Sorry for being unable to get back to you with regard to reading your latest fic. I've been a bit busy lately, but this was just what the Doctor ordred. Great dialogue. I think you excell in writing characters. Keep up the good work! :)
3/5/2013 c1 24Brownbug
Interesting concept. Love the inclusion of Rory (he's just awesome) and the Brigadier (even if he wasn't the real Brigadier, LOL). Good to see you are writing again, keep at it :)
2/26/2013 c1 28Son of Whitebeard
comment and rate it please

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