Just In
for Two Worlds, Two Minds

7/28/2013 c2 1Secret2241
So far this is so interesting amazing book do me a favor and become an author lol!
7/28/2013 c8 3Volcora
There is nothing wrong in spending time to visit your mother in the hospital. We, as readers, all understand that reasoning behind not updating. At least you can put out a chapter every now and then, unlike me ;o;
Anyway, I liked this chapter :3 but you could maybe slow down the dialogue a bit, either that, or the dialogue speed is just my imagination o.e besides that and the occasional typo we all make, your story is amazing :3
6/28/2013 c7 5Animemonk
awesome dude though you forgot one thing about deoxys deoxys has a default system in it's self and if it is ever surrounded byt anythong it auto teleports outside the perimeter of danger and then attack at over 300% the attack power of the force that would have been used agaionst it
6/27/2013 c7 Mr.001
Good cliffhanger.
5/21/2013 c6 Animemonk
wow this is the first fic i have seen that has a legendary pokemon giving love life help. and dang it when i made the name of team areo i wasn't thinking of the games if i was well it wouldn't have been a team. oh well this will be the first team that makes the name team look good on a resime.
5/18/2013 c6 Mr.001
Another good chapter.
5/1/2013 c5 3UnitedPostalService
And done. Hmm. Gotta say that again, your char is a bit Mary sueish. I mean a human beating a charizard or a steeling is a tad beyond what is believable. I think if you toned him down a tad it'd be fine. I love zach on the other hand. Interesting concept and likable personality. I'm already cringing at Daryl.
5/1/2013 c3 UnitedPostalService
...He bit a charizard?

Not bad. A few minor errors. In his first chat with arceus, the word you wanted was reASSURING not reINSURING. Just thought I should point that out.
5/1/2013 c2 UnitedPostalService
Okay, first time reader. I know who you are, you know who I am, and here's what I think.

The first chapter was good. It could be improved, but what couldn't. Then you get to this chapter. I can already tell your character is gonna be a but of a Mary Sue. I hope it's explained why soon and not just left to "because he's awesome".

Last, grammar. You need to pick a tense and stuck with it. You tend I switch between present and past. Personally I write in past. Like you switch between "he turns and sees" or something and "he went to go look".

Do you see the difference? One is happening now and one happened in the past.

Really last, I can see disliking flames, but asking for no negative reviews seems a tad foolish. Even a negative review shows that someone read your story and thought it deserved enough of their time to tell you their thoughts. Only asking for positive reviews won't help you grow as a writer. I suppose if you're happy with staying at the same level that's fine, but I for one prefer to grow, and I hope you do too because I want to see you grow and make this story into something special.

I'm going to continue reading, I hope you don't disappoint.
4/29/2013 c5 5Animemonk
sweet awesome chaet and nice action scene btw nice ortraayal of my oc hopefully my other okemon can play soon cause well yea oh btw be sure to try to get across that seed is a nessesity not an option
4/28/2013 c5 Mr.001
Another good chapter.
4/6/2013 c4 Animemonk
awesome so then lest see you have four chapter done so far lets see you hold your promise and bring in my oc in the next chapter and really i expect to see jaws dropping at what my character cand o in ur story sice u bacically ain't having any normality amoung characters well yea my character should be a good addition so make him shine since i can't make a fic that would suit him myself
4/6/2013 c4 Mr.001
Wow. so it is implied that Jared and Zach knew each other, And their meeting took place one hour before the accident, Fascinating. anyway good chapter.
3/25/2013 c3 Animemonk
nice keep it up
3/15/2013 c1 The Psuedonymph
I like it! Seems like a good story to make your debut on! I like the pokemon that you chose for this. Blaziken, lucario, and gallade, are a;ll fighting-types, so I think we'll be seeing lots of that, which is actually a good thing, I don't see many good pokemorph stories with action. The zoroark seems interesting... a dark type, doesn't seem to fit, it doesn't improve body, mind, and soul. I sense something interesting happening! This is usually a good thing as it can lead to plot twists which are helpful for moving the plot along and keeping things interesting, and are generally things you should want. I'm looking forward to the story!
35 « Prev Page 1 2 3 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service