for The Ero-Game1/2/2015 c1 
9K. M. Donovan
interesting and with a fair bit of potential, but I would need more chapters to say anything more. one chapter is no where near enough for me to develop an opinion on a fic.
9K. M. Donovaninteresting and with a fair bit of potential, but I would need more chapters to say anything more. one chapter is no where near enough for me to develop an opinion on a fic.
6/23/2014 c1 4 u op
. ?1
. ?1
6/20/2014 c1 Guest
Err... A. H oly bull sh it stats Batman! Yeah... using thousands as stat counts with only double digit stat point gains per level... a bit ridiculous. In the hundreds, with a max cap of one thousand... not so much; absolute max cap of ten thousand, pushing it, and would mark a difference between Kage and trained Jinchuruki (sp?) but still pushing it.
B. If you're keeping the B S stats then you need to raise stat point gains to something that a gamer avatar can realistically use to improve between levels. Unless level gains occur regularly just by breathing, and are unlimited... yeah; you either have to modify how many stat points Naruto gains per level, or change the stat rating and cap points.
Err... A. H oly bull sh it stats Batman! Yeah... using thousands as stat counts with only double digit stat point gains per level... a bit ridiculous. In the hundreds, with a max cap of one thousand... not so much; absolute max cap of ten thousand, pushing it, and would mark a difference between Kage and trained Jinchuruki (sp?) but still pushing it.
B. If you're keeping the B S stats then you need to raise stat point gains to something that a gamer avatar can realistically use to improve between levels. Unless level gains occur regularly just by breathing, and are unlimited... yeah; you either have to modify how many stat points Naruto gains per level, or change the stat rating and cap points.
6/6/2014 c1 firelordeg
thank you for sharing this fantastic chapter as well as for all the effort put into it please continue as life allows
thank you for sharing this fantastic chapter as well as for all the effort put into it please continue as life allows
1/16/2014 c1 A visitor
Looks good for a start! A couple of notes - 'rouge' is red make-up used to redden cheeks, while 'rogue' is the Thief-esque class you probably mean. Also, I find it easier to read left-justified text, rather than centred text. I think other people might too (most stories on this site are left-justified), so you might want to consider that. Either way, I'll keep reading - I just wanted to let you know :)
Overall, I enjoyed how you explained the stats nicely, and I look forward to the next chapter!
Looks good for a start! A couple of notes - 'rouge' is red make-up used to redden cheeks, while 'rogue' is the Thief-esque class you probably mean. Also, I find it easier to read left-justified text, rather than centred text. I think other people might too (most stories on this site are left-justified), so you might want to consider that. Either way, I'll keep reading - I just wanted to let you know :)
Overall, I enjoyed how you explained the stats nicely, and I look forward to the next chapter!
1/16/2014 c1 510000 Fists
Alright, going through this thing a couple of pieces stick out to me, and I'm going to go through the flaws first before I go through the good stuff.
It's 'Rogue', not Rouge. Maybe only choose one class to start with and then branch to others after some time? Like start ninja and then specialize and unlock new perks and what not that way. The stats are too high for the 'beginning' of a game(ie before level ups). Stealth should be a skill or technique, not a Stat. 'Secrets', not 'Secretes'. 'Follow' not 'Fallow'.
Now whether or not you want anything other than the actual ero scenes to be experience gains is up to you, but since those are the point of this game/fic, I suggest either you temper all other activities, or drop the exp from non-lemons all together.
That said, I have liked the other two versions done of this fic, and I look forward to reading yours.
Good luck.
10k
510000 FistsAlright, going through this thing a couple of pieces stick out to me, and I'm going to go through the flaws first before I go through the good stuff.
It's 'Rogue', not Rouge. Maybe only choose one class to start with and then branch to others after some time? Like start ninja and then specialize and unlock new perks and what not that way. The stats are too high for the 'beginning' of a game(ie before level ups). Stealth should be a skill or technique, not a Stat. 'Secrets', not 'Secretes'. 'Follow' not 'Fallow'.
Now whether or not you want anything other than the actual ero scenes to be experience gains is up to you, but since those are the point of this game/fic, I suggest either you temper all other activities, or drop the exp from non-lemons all together.
That said, I have liked the other two versions done of this fic, and I look forward to reading yours.
Good luck.
10k
1/16/2014 c1 Satisfied.Oddly
I'm liking this a lot. Your perks look fun. I'm interested in seeing how you turn him from an anti-pervert or if he was just pretending to begin with.
I'm liking this a lot. Your perks look fun. I'm interested in seeing how you turn him from an anti-pervert or if he was just pretending to begin with.
1/16/2014 c1 9Lewis The King
Hmm, if you were inspired by the lemon version of the videogame plot, do you know about the non lemon ones? I generally find those to be a bit higher in quality than the lemon ones, don't get me wrong, there are a few bad ones, but there are plenty of really good Life is a video game fics, you should check out Naruto: Game of the year edition, that was basically the first story to give this a serious try, it's by Majin Hentai X and it's 21 chapters and about 200,000 words long, there are other good ones too, if you want, check out my community, it's dedicated to collecting stories like this, I'm currently on something like ninety.
As for the chapter itself, it's alright, however, the problem with advanced stats and mechanics is that you eventually either forget the mechanics or how they work, In fact there is someone who is publishing a series of novels somewhat like this(minus the lemons), the video game mechanics are totally different from when it begun I'd simplify this quite a bit or your going to quickly forget what those stats do, I'd advise something like a simple few stats which cover a wide variety of things, something like Attack(or strength), Defense, Special attack(or chakra?) Special defense, speed and agility/dexterity(Which denotes things like handseals), then have things like poison resistance be a skill, which stops a page from getting too clustered, only give the main character a skill if he earns it through, well doing something regarding that skill, like only getting the sword skill if you have a sword,
It's a simple system, but it helps, I'd also recommend making the stats a little more standard, I've never played a game where you have stats which are determined by thousands,
As for the content itself, might I suggest a few things plot wise? Naruto is Naruto, and Naruto is more or less innocent. He's not mega smart, and he can't shoot lasers from his eyes, so what I'm saying is, Naruto, not realizing the, uh 'lingo', of the book is forced to level up via getting achievements, it would be a fun idea to start a story like this up. Another idea is to have Naruto find power bonus's, scattered around everywhere, giving minimal stat boosts. Good luck.
9Lewis The KingHmm, if you were inspired by the lemon version of the videogame plot, do you know about the non lemon ones? I generally find those to be a bit higher in quality than the lemon ones, don't get me wrong, there are a few bad ones, but there are plenty of really good Life is a video game fics, you should check out Naruto: Game of the year edition, that was basically the first story to give this a serious try, it's by Majin Hentai X and it's 21 chapters and about 200,000 words long, there are other good ones too, if you want, check out my community, it's dedicated to collecting stories like this, I'm currently on something like ninety.
As for the chapter itself, it's alright, however, the problem with advanced stats and mechanics is that you eventually either forget the mechanics or how they work, In fact there is someone who is publishing a series of novels somewhat like this(minus the lemons), the video game mechanics are totally different from when it begun I'd simplify this quite a bit or your going to quickly forget what those stats do, I'd advise something like a simple few stats which cover a wide variety of things, something like Attack(or strength), Defense, Special attack(or chakra?) Special defense, speed and agility/dexterity(Which denotes things like handseals), then have things like poison resistance be a skill, which stops a page from getting too clustered, only give the main character a skill if he earns it through, well doing something regarding that skill, like only getting the sword skill if you have a sword,
It's a simple system, but it helps, I'd also recommend making the stats a little more standard, I've never played a game where you have stats which are determined by thousands,
As for the content itself, might I suggest a few things plot wise? Naruto is Naruto, and Naruto is more or less innocent. He's not mega smart, and he can't shoot lasers from his eyes, so what I'm saying is, Naruto, not realizing the, uh 'lingo', of the book is forced to level up via getting achievements, it would be a fun idea to start a story like this up. Another idea is to have Naruto find power bonus's, scattered around everywhere, giving minimal stat boosts. Good luck.
12/7/2013 c1 Shadowwalker76
Please continue the story. It's a good read and i want to see how you go about this story!
Please continue the story. It's a good read and i want to see how you go about this story!