for Last Second Savior3/22 c7 Guest
I’m pretty sure ship names should be italicized. But the story’s good. I’m enjoying it.
I’m pretty sure ship names should be italicized. But the story’s good. I’m enjoying it.
2/19 c10 Haggart
Please keep writing, im enjoying this!
Please keep writing, im enjoying this!
11/11/2024 c1 JustinC100
This is an incredible opening chapter, filled with powerful imagery, well-developed lore, and intense action! Harry’s evolution as a warrior and healer, the sense of camaraderie he’s built with George and Angelina, and the detailed setup for this final showdown are all superbly crafted. The apocalyptic setting and the combination of magical and Muggle forces against the demonic threat create a vivid, high-stakes atmosphere.
A few highlights that stand out:
•Character Depth: You’ve woven Harry’s past experiences, growth, and relationships seamlessly into the narrative. His motivations, such as his fear of the infirmary leading to self-taught medical skills, feel authentic and give his character extra depth.
•World-Building: The detailed description of runic arrays, demon types, and the devastating consequences of summoning create a believable, immersive world. It’s especially impactful how both magical and non-magical forces are united in this fight.
•Strategic Combat: The thoughtfulness behind Harry’s approach to combat, including his methods for identifying and prioritizing targets, makes him come across as an experienced, battle-hardened leader.
•Foreshadowing and Suspense: The sense of impending doom builds beautifully throughout. The gradual realization that Achenar has set a trap adds tension, and Harry’s inner struggle over his lack of escape options pulls readers in emotionally.
A few suggestions to enhance this further:
•Minor Dialogue Adjustments: Some of Harry’s internal monologue and battle exchanges could be slightly condensed for an even snappier read. For instance, trimming phrases like “When the hell did I become as batty as Trelawny” could maintain the humor but quicken the pacing.
•Visual Flow During Action: Given the large-scale setting, perhaps inserting a few more quick visuals—like “soldiers firing ward hammers amid fiery, smoking landscapes”—could help readers track the action more smoothly.
•A Sense of Finality: Since this chapter sets up a potential dimension shift, Harry might reflect slightly more on his personal stakes. Brief thoughts on those he’ll leave behind or on the gravity of his impending choice could deepen the sense of loss if he steps through the portal.
Overall, you’ve built a thrilling and highly imaginative start that feels cinematic and epic. Excited to see where you take Harry’s journey next, especially if he’s about to cross into an entirely new dimension!
This is an incredible opening chapter, filled with powerful imagery, well-developed lore, and intense action! Harry’s evolution as a warrior and healer, the sense of camaraderie he’s built with George and Angelina, and the detailed setup for this final showdown are all superbly crafted. The apocalyptic setting and the combination of magical and Muggle forces against the demonic threat create a vivid, high-stakes atmosphere.
A few highlights that stand out:
•Character Depth: You’ve woven Harry’s past experiences, growth, and relationships seamlessly into the narrative. His motivations, such as his fear of the infirmary leading to self-taught medical skills, feel authentic and give his character extra depth.
•World-Building: The detailed description of runic arrays, demon types, and the devastating consequences of summoning create a believable, immersive world. It’s especially impactful how both magical and non-magical forces are united in this fight.
•Strategic Combat: The thoughtfulness behind Harry’s approach to combat, including his methods for identifying and prioritizing targets, makes him come across as an experienced, battle-hardened leader.
•Foreshadowing and Suspense: The sense of impending doom builds beautifully throughout. The gradual realization that Achenar has set a trap adds tension, and Harry’s inner struggle over his lack of escape options pulls readers in emotionally.
A few suggestions to enhance this further:
•Minor Dialogue Adjustments: Some of Harry’s internal monologue and battle exchanges could be slightly condensed for an even snappier read. For instance, trimming phrases like “When the hell did I become as batty as Trelawny” could maintain the humor but quicken the pacing.
•Visual Flow During Action: Given the large-scale setting, perhaps inserting a few more quick visuals—like “soldiers firing ward hammers amid fiery, smoking landscapes”—could help readers track the action more smoothly.
•A Sense of Finality: Since this chapter sets up a potential dimension shift, Harry might reflect slightly more on his personal stakes. Brief thoughts on those he’ll leave behind or on the gravity of his impending choice could deepen the sense of loss if he steps through the portal.
Overall, you’ve built a thrilling and highly imaginative start that feels cinematic and epic. Excited to see where you take Harry’s journey next, especially if he’s about to cross into an entirely new dimension!
10/15/2024 c10 
1bleachorange
Ive enjoyed this a lot, though the first couple of chapters were rough for me.
1bleachorangeIve enjoyed this a lot, though the first couple of chapters were rough for me.
8/26/2024 c10 1GideonBlackthorn
just had to reread again and still as excellent as ever. hopefully one day itll be updated but still either way love your work !
1GideonBlackthornjust had to reread again and still as excellent as ever. hopefully one day itll be updated but still either way love your work !
6/27/2024 c10 Guest
For the heck of it ill throw in the Fidelus auto packing could be setup in a hole made in a wall. Then covered with a flat wall piece as if nothing was done and he setup is hidden behind so it seems nothing is different or seemingly forgotten. No one having memories of the contents behind a wall in those rooms to be forgotten.
Could do the same with rune traps made to render all the members within immediately unconscious and immobile for a short time guaranteeing her escape.
For the heck of it ill throw in the Fidelus auto packing could be setup in a hole made in a wall. Then covered with a flat wall piece as if nothing was done and he setup is hidden behind so it seems nothing is different or seemingly forgotten. No one having memories of the contents behind a wall in those rooms to be forgotten.
Could do the same with rune traps made to render all the members within immediately unconscious and immobile for a short time guaranteeing her escape.
6/27/2024 c10 Guest
Great story im sad is done.
Just to throw it out there for anyone who read my earlier comment about hating how its always just the MC and never the love interest too. Or at least one and preferably the one I prefer.
Hermione and preferably Luna too could've absolutely went with him despite him being some super powerful Battle Mage on the field and the situation. The one thought that immediately hit me was his trunk. Figuring out a way to not just expand the inside or have multiple expansions that you can shift through to have the trunk opening to.
But have it be expansions that can be connected to through more than just his trunk. In other words Hermione having a trunk that connects to his own that she could enter into his section.
A better and easier though is the cabinets used to enter the school. Having a set in their trunks to use if not multiple sets and having his as the transport hub having a room filled with them. If not one modded to connect to several others that you can dial up like a Stargate.
If she could've set up some fidelused auto packing setup in the department of mysteries to rob them blind that funneled into connected trunks in mere moments in the final fight where she's watching from a mini enhanced mirror like the ones Sirius gave her and knew he was going into the trap.
She could've set them off and grabbed everything. Had them shifted to hers which all packed into one on her as she shifted to his. Succeeded and got him inside an evac trunk to escape and be done with the war and the bastards at the department of mysteries or been dragged along with him through the portal due to being in his trunk.
Great story im sad is done.
Just to throw it out there for anyone who read my earlier comment about hating how its always just the MC and never the love interest too. Or at least one and preferably the one I prefer.
Hermione and preferably Luna too could've absolutely went with him despite him being some super powerful Battle Mage on the field and the situation. The one thought that immediately hit me was his trunk. Figuring out a way to not just expand the inside or have multiple expansions that you can shift through to have the trunk opening to.
But have it be expansions that can be connected to through more than just his trunk. In other words Hermione having a trunk that connects to his own that she could enter into his section.
A better and easier though is the cabinets used to enter the school. Having a set in their trunks to use if not multiple sets and having his as the transport hub having a room filled with them. If not one modded to connect to several others that you can dial up like a Stargate.
If she could've set up some fidelused auto packing setup in the department of mysteries to rob them blind that funneled into connected trunks in mere moments in the final fight where she's watching from a mini enhanced mirror like the ones Sirius gave her and knew he was going into the trap.
She could've set them off and grabbed everything. Had them shifted to hers which all packed into one on her as she shifted to his. Succeeded and got him inside an evac trunk to escape and be done with the war and the bastards at the department of mysteries or been dragged along with him through the portal due to being in his trunk.
6/27/2024 c8 Guest
One issue is he left nothing at his appearance point to inform likely Hermione if she figured out a way to track and trace him.
One issue is he left nothing at his appearance point to inform likely Hermione if she figured out a way to track and trace him.
6/27/2024 c6 Guest
Really good story and a waste it was dropped. So early at that.
Really good story and a waste it was dropped. So early at that.
6/27/2024 c1 Guest
One thing I hate about these types is nearly always they're sent to another world alone. Naruto without Hinata for example, and Harry without Hermione. Even when the person is directly NEXT to them which isn't the case here. They're just sent alone and never to see them again.
One thing I hate about these types is nearly always they're sent to another world alone. Naruto without Hinata for example, and Harry without Hermione. Even when the person is directly NEXT to them which isn't the case here. They're just sent alone and never to see them again.