for Banshu Lounge3/12/2014 c2 Quickslice
Oh crap! Another story that sprouted many questions in my head, are you sure you want this to be just a three chapter fic? Well I'd say this should be a multi-chap story, you have a good plot here, different but interesting. Please reconsider.
Oh crap! Another story that sprouted many questions in my head, are you sure you want this to be just a three chapter fic? Well I'd say this should be a multi-chap story, you have a good plot here, different but interesting. Please reconsider.
2/6/2014 c2 hirako shinji
OMG I freaking luv this fanfict! Please keep on updating
OMG I freaking luv this fanfict! Please keep on updating
2/6/2014 c2 
2Hekka
Oh-ho ... It's good to know that you have tried to incorporate all the previous comments.
I understand that Rukia so poorly informed about the criminal world because her overprotective brother, who concurrently also the leader of the Yakuza, did not want to his beloved sister ever knew what kind of business exactly he was doing. And any conflicting information from the news he readily "clarified" to her. Through his optimizing prism. So his precious little sister was not worried because the horrors of the world.
I think when it comes to Byakuya who dared to lure his beloved sister, Byakuya and Ichigo will find a common language because of their desire to protect Rukia. After the initial bloodshed of course.
2HekkaOh-ho ... It's good to know that you have tried to incorporate all the previous comments.
I understand that Rukia so poorly informed about the criminal world because her overprotective brother, who concurrently also the leader of the Yakuza, did not want to his beloved sister ever knew what kind of business exactly he was doing. And any conflicting information from the news he readily "clarified" to her. Through his optimizing prism. So his precious little sister was not worried because the horrors of the world.
I think when it comes to Byakuya who dared to lure his beloved sister, Byakuya and Ichigo will find a common language because of their desire to protect Rukia. After the initial bloodshed of course.
3/12/2013 c1 Hekka
It will be funny if Ichigo doesn't do anything to Rukia yet, when he realizes that she really meant dancing.
After all, simplicity is not synonymous to stupidity, and therefore unlikely that Rukia so simply let to seduce herself. And given that Ichigo's mother instilled in him respect for women (at least to those who deserve it), it means that he really does not force Rukia to do what she dont want.
But at least he can use this opportunity to get to know her better.
...And while Ichigo will take an interest in Rukia, she will be protected from other men who would not refuse themself in the opportunity to take advantage of naive of such a beautiful girl.
It will be funny if Ichigo doesn't do anything to Rukia yet, when he realizes that she really meant dancing.
After all, simplicity is not synonymous to stupidity, and therefore unlikely that Rukia so simply let to seduce herself. And given that Ichigo's mother instilled in him respect for women (at least to those who deserve it), it means that he really does not force Rukia to do what she dont want.
But at least he can use this opportunity to get to know her better.
...And while Ichigo will take an interest in Rukia, she will be protected from other men who would not refuse themself in the opportunity to take advantage of naive of such a beautiful girl.
3/12/2013 c1 newrun
it was much better after you edited it... want to know next chap! hope u update soon...
it was much better after you edited it... want to know next chap! hope u update soon...
3/12/2013 c1 Jello
Really Liz? I really think you should rewrite this.
Really Liz? I really think you should rewrite this.
3/12/2013 c1 28hunterofcomedy
I do wonder how you'll acomplish this story with it rated T. Also, I'm sorry to say that Rukia's personality doesn't fit her. She's never been the bubbly trusting type who believes that everyone has good in them. Even if she led a sheltered life, which we have no proof of, I can't imagine her as this naive.
Honestly, I loved it up until she near the end when she thought he was offering dance lessons, which if she's in a seedy bar singing for scummy men, I don't think she would ever be naive enough to misinterpret his intensions. Orihime would do this kind of thing, but never Rukia Kuchiki. I suggest rewriting the end to fit her character more. That is, unless, it's all a ruse to get something out of Ichigo which would be freaking amazing!
That's my input and suggestion. Very well written in either case. Keep it up!
28hunterofcomedyI do wonder how you'll acomplish this story with it rated T. Also, I'm sorry to say that Rukia's personality doesn't fit her. She's never been the bubbly trusting type who believes that everyone has good in them. Even if she led a sheltered life, which we have no proof of, I can't imagine her as this naive.
Honestly, I loved it up until she near the end when she thought he was offering dance lessons, which if she's in a seedy bar singing for scummy men, I don't think she would ever be naive enough to misinterpret his intensions. Orihime would do this kind of thing, but never Rukia Kuchiki. I suggest rewriting the end to fit her character more. That is, unless, it's all a ruse to get something out of Ichigo which would be freaking amazing!
That's my input and suggestion. Very well written in either case. Keep it up!
3/12/2013 c1 Deathchase
Nice start :) i m soo excited
Nice start :) i m soo excited
3/12/2013 c1 Vampirelover
ooooh cant wait to see what happen in this and i hope you turn it into a long story instead of a two shot but eather way i cant wait til next time bye for now.
ooooh cant wait to see what happen in this and i hope you turn it into a long story instead of a two shot but eather way i cant wait til next time bye for now.