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9/20/2014 c2 Guest
Hello there, nice story. Don't listen to guy bitching about ECM, what he's talking about is target that can't maneuver. If it come to it you can always restore original firepower and reduce Citadel dreadnoughts to fighter grade firepower from main gun and reapers to subcapital (500 kt is not at most 1/10th of Tsunami).
Minor nitpick but cyclops are fusion warheads, helios is AM.
Next, carpet bombing space is stupid, you can easily change it to shields allowing for point blank deployment of torpedoes and them being shielded reduce effectiveness of point defence.
9/11/2014 c2 RandomReader
Grammar and spelling seem acceptable. Idea for the plot is good.
But 5 big things:

ECM on all ships that reduces effective range specifically for ME ships is shoehorned plot armor. And badly thought out as well, since ECM only works against guided warheads that have electronics, not beams or slugs. And the ability to spot and target a ship by simple triangulation (all that is needed to aim a mass accelerator) works at distances beyond the range of any conceivable ECM field even with very simple sensors. So, shoehorned stuff, that would not work anyways when you think about it. Solution: Replace your bad idea with a better one. Simply letting the Reapers be actually dangerous would work quite well. Not so dangerous thata single one Reaper steamrolls everything but a credible threat. Without, this story is doomed to fail anyways. The bad guys NEED to be dangerous to make the struggle against them remotely interesting. Otherwise the story would not need to be told in the first place.

Reapers/Shivans. May be related for the purpose of that crossover. But you should keep in mind the ending of Freespace 2. There you can clearly see the only reason why the GTVA survived the second Shivan incursion. Because the Shivans WANTED it. They have endless fleets of super ships and can blow up stars. There is obviously more to them than just being an aggressive species with hightech. And they cannot be defeated by anything the GTVA has. They had trouble with ONE Satanas class, the Shivans can field hundreds or even thousands of them. And who knows what else. The Blue Planet mod spins those clues further and drives some interesting conclusions from it you might want to look at. Given your avatar pic you are familiar with BP.
There is also Admiral Bosch who found a way to contact them and succeeded at ...something. Another mystery with great potential.

Third big issue is acceleration rates/maneuverability. This depends on the ships inertia which depends on its mass. Here anything with an ME core, ESPECIALLY a big one like the Reapers have, has a MASSIVE (pun intended) advantage. They can lower their mass to almost nothing, changing one of the most fundamental factors shaping space time. This is not grasped by many authors. But the ability to manipulate mass is a really, really powerful asset. An author who wants to put serious effort into an ME crossover story (which at least on excludes 95% of them who just write crap for the sake of crap) does not ignore this.

Fourth is numbers. Even in the most important battles the GTVA can field only a handful of capital ships. They only seem to have expanded to a few systems as well. When the Reapers decide to invade in force they simply drown them in ships. So do not dig yourself a hole there, and avoid that situation. Can be done by useful storytelling. HINT: THE SHIVANS AND WHAT THEY REALLY WANT.

Fifth. "Saturation bombing space". THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. Plain and simple. Space is way, way too big to do that. Seriously. Make the warheads like they are in the game. They detonate in proximity to stuff, sometimes manually triggered, not at random points in space. If you write something like this you just throw away your credibility. What you can do is saturate a volume of space in a ship's flight path with munitions. If you time this right, it cannot evade, even when it is as quick as a Reaper. But saturation bombing space in general? No. Just no.
9/10/2014 c2 killroy225
Interesting story, I do hope you'll continue it. though any update, even an adoption notice would better than nothing...
5/4/2014 c4 Guest
This is pretty good. I like it and hope you continue!
5/4/2014 c4 4jabbarulez
reapers and shivans working together? scary thought!
2/19/2014 c4 Symbolik
Hope you update this soon.
1/1/2014 c4 Thanatoss
Interesting story so far, nice to finally read a story that actually takes place with the Reapers - Reaping? Excellent formatting and grammar, easy to follow wording, and overall a fast pace flow to the story.

From what I have seen so far, humanity is an unknown, which makes for a unique/fun story; at least in my own opinion it does.

Thank you, for your time and effort in writing; I look forward to the next chapter.
7/27/2013 c3 5Jouaint
Great chapter.
3/29/2013 c2 Guest
Good music choice for the chapter. GTVA to the rescue, can't wait to read more!
3/15/2013 c1 Chaszcz
GTVA to the rescue! poor reaper's photonic cannon's will rip them apart
3/14/2013 c1 Jouaint
Interesting please continue.

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