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for Varia's New Cloud

9/1/2021 c1 2violettelarawilliams
By the way. Adjectives come after the noun In the Italian dialect and grammar. Thought there are very few exceptions
1/8/2018 c4 Guest
1/16/2017 c4 Cinthya
Weird, um i think you should not put harry potter cross khr, because there is no hp, okey.
But your story is not bad, it was not what i was looking for and you will recive a lot of reviews telling you that, but ignoring the fact it waz not that bad.
10/31/2016 c1 Guest
I can't read this because HP is way...to OP, seriously? multi colour eyes? multi flames? trained by one of the best mafiosa? assassin? mmh yeah no.
12/26/2014 c4 Guest
this started out kinda ok but then you decided that plot is unnecessary. if that's not bad enough you self inserted and proceeded to mary sue all over it. I don't know what you were trying to do, an invulnerable assassin whose beauty is the stuff of legends, voice sounds like a siren's and can make the most terrifying people shake in their boots is pretty mary sue already but in an acceptable way. that you felt the need to add all this kai crap only says how little you care about your story and how much you care about your ego.
11/26/2014 c4 13creativesm75
9/23/2014 c4 11Mukuro234
This is an awesome but confusing fic :)
5/26/2014 c4 Pedobearlikesyaoi1234
AH-MA-ZING i'm already hooke up in this story when i read the first chapter.
well done! keep making more and more updates please!
3/29/2014 c4 idcatp
Look, you have talent as a writer but at this point there is no point to continuing this story. So far you've made a self insert with you being Mary sue. Not only that but everything after the first chapter makes no sense! What is the point of being the author if tour readers have no idea where the plot is going? Another thing: warning are made for a reason, to be used. You should tell people that this is a random, plotless, self insert, Mary sue,story. I for one wouldn't have wasted my time reading this if you had actually posted the warnings. I'm not going to complain anymore but I can only hope you would use your potential for something more than this half written, nonsensical piece of writing you call a fanfiction.
2/18/2014 c4 kat1316
update please
1/4/2014 c3 Guest
thought you said his name was Hadrian?
1/4/2014 c4 3PCheshire
*snrk* stuffed toy or imaginary friend hehehe
11/21/2013 c3 Guest
...I thought that this was going to be Harry's story in the Varia, not some OC girl (I don't know, is this an OC? The author as a self-insert?) who suddenly appeared. I see the beginnings of a Mary-sue already.
11/10/2013 c4 belle hawk
Ok who wrote the last two chapters? Because it definitely doesn't belong to the same person. First chapter was good but the third? It is a joke of a chapter.
10/28/2013 c3 9DarkenedRose24
-hugs- thank you for letting us know what was going on. I know how it feels to lose important files(my old computer crashed completely and i had to get a new one). Good luck in school and live, love and laugh when ever you can.
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