for Tea Time For Ricken10/9/2015 c1 HyP3RN8
Continue plz
Continue plz
6/17/2013 c1 Guest
Just one huge problem, Ricken and Maribelle already know each other even before Henry and Tharja joins up. When Ricken practically rescues Maribelle himself, she immediately recognizes him, and their support conversations suggets they known each other since ever.
Unless you decided that they aren't familiar with each other until this point, the whole scene where Ricken rescues Maribelle after she gets kidnapped...well, you've just made a moot point. Same with their support conversations.
Just one huge problem, Ricken and Maribelle already know each other even before Henry and Tharja joins up. When Ricken practically rescues Maribelle himself, she immediately recognizes him, and their support conversations suggets they known each other since ever.
Unless you decided that they aren't familiar with each other until this point, the whole scene where Ricken rescues Maribelle after she gets kidnapped...well, you've just made a moot point. Same with their support conversations.
4/6/2013 c1 
11Yohioloid
Ohoho. I can tell that tea time won't be the only thing happening during maribelle's babysitting visits. u
Update soon.
11YohioloidOhoho. I can tell that tea time won't be the only thing happening during maribelle's babysitting visits. u
Update soon.
3/26/2013 c1 Baka-Chan t-.-t
This was good, for a first chapter.
I like how it's Ricken X Maribelle. That pairing is very cute! :)
A Short chapter is always good for a first chapter. I could tell this story will be really sweet!
I'm looking forward to it!
This was good, for a first chapter.
I like how it's Ricken X Maribelle. That pairing is very cute! :)
A Short chapter is always good for a first chapter. I could tell this story will be really sweet!
I'm looking forward to it!
3/26/2013 c1 74COOKIECHEESEMAN
Hello! I have the feeling this is going to turn into a cute story, which is my cup of chocolate milk! (I don't like tea :p) Welcome to FE Fanfiction!
Only thing I'd say is to do a better job proofreading and stuff. As far as I can tell, it's only grammar and mechanics and technical stuff like that that needs fixing. Otherwise, you are on the right track!
I'd get a second opinion from another writer, though. I can't call myself an expert! :D Either way, I'm excited to see what happens!
74COOKIECHEESEMANHello! I have the feeling this is going to turn into a cute story, which is my cup of chocolate milk! (I don't like tea :p) Welcome to FE Fanfiction!
Only thing I'd say is to do a better job proofreading and stuff. As far as I can tell, it's only grammar and mechanics and technical stuff like that that needs fixing. Otherwise, you are on the right track!
I'd get a second opinion from another writer, though. I can't call myself an expert! :D Either way, I'm excited to see what happens!