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4/30/2013 c2 7Paxloria
Nice chapter.
There's a few things, though, that you might want to fix.
Bamboo doesn't have thorns
Also in the line "... she inspected her thorn and filthy clothes" I think you ment to say "torn" instead of "thorn."
In the lines "... a voice snarled into her ear.." and "A log stripped of it's bark lay unnoticed behind her and stepping on it made her lose her footing" I think you might have ment to say instead "... a voice snarled behind her..." and "A log stripped of it's bark lay unnoticed ahead of her and steaping on it made her lose her footing."
Because there was no mention of a cliff previously, I think you might want to change the line "... she was tumbling down the clif" to "... she went tumbling down a sudden cliff."
4/30/2013 c4 3SebbyXCiel4eternity
Love it. Now, let's see how fast you can update, ready! GO!
Lol, I will serously spam you alot if you don't update soon though!
4/30/2013 c4 Lightning on the Dance Floor
Ooh... :D
4/30/2013 c4 Way2Dawn
Ooooo what does the letter say? I wanna know! D:
4/29/2013 c3 6RRJToons3
Wow. You sure can update on time. I could never come back out that fast.
4/24/2013 c1 3itshigurashiis
Hey this was pretty good! I would say a 9/10 :)
And I like that it turned into a poem, I once read a book were every single chapter was a story, but just told in the flow of a poem. :)
4/21/2013 c3 18PhantomhiveHost
Hihi ;)
So they found her, did they?
Nice.
Oh and just a small thing or two. Sometimes the description is unnecessary, so you might want to look at it and consider cutting it down a notch (:
4/20/2013 c3 Way2Dawn
That is...scary! I kinda laughed when Ciel asked does the face look like a cat. But still, (shudders) somebodys gonna have nightmares tonight lol! Keep going :)
4/20/2013 c3 3SebbyXCiel4eternity
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
Thankyousomuchforupdatingthisstory! I love this chapter so much! I am already anticepating the next one! OMG OMG OMG OMG!
I like your story, just in case you couldn't tell...
4/17/2013 c2 2Precious Destiny
Lovely dear it's a nice start. It'll be nice to see his the rest turns out! Keep it up _
4/14/2013 c2 Lightning on the Dance Floor
Poor girl... :( This is intriguing... yet... sixteeneen? Do you perhaps mean sixteen? *bows* I shall await more...
4/14/2013 c1 Lightning on the Dance Floor
Wow... How hard... for little Bocchan to tell no lies...
4/13/2013 c2 18PhantomhiveHost
Wait, what? This chapter was sort of confusing because I didn't really know who it was about, but well-written :)
4/13/2013 c2 Way2Dawn
That sounds mysterious! You put a lot of detail and I love that! Its getting very interesting! :)
4/10/2013 c1 Way2Dawn
I love it! I believe it does suit Ciel! No doubt, 10!
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